The latest trend: I know I got it here!

[Dave1982]

So the latest trend of stupidity that I've been dealing with has been people who INSIST that not only does the obscure, phantom product they want exist, but that they bought it at my store before. Never mind the fact that I've been with the company over 4 years (*sigh*) and have never even HEARD of what you want, let alone actually seen it.

Last week a woman asked for a "notarial ledger," which supposedly is a special ledger for notaries. Well, we don't carry ANY notary stuff whatsoever, nor have we ever in the time that I've been with the company. The closest thing to "notary" that we have is these gold seals for envelopes.

SC: But I've bought them here before.

Me: Well I'm sorry but I don't have anything like that.

SC: When did you stop carrying them?!

Me: If we had them at all it was before I started working here and I've been here for 4 years.

The woman's head just about exploded, and she STILL insisted that she got the damn thing here.


And tonight I had a guy who wanted what he described as a piece of heavyweight paper that was covered on both sides with the same glue used on post-it notes. YOu stick it to the wall, then stick papers to it, sort of like a pin-less bulletin board.

Yeah. Never heard of it, don't carry it, no idea where to get it. And just getting to that point was like pulling teeth because he had a very hard time arriving at the proper description.

SC: But I've gotten them here before!

Me: Sir, I don't know what to tell you. I've been with the company for more than 4 years and I've never even heard of such a thing.


Look......just stop doing this. When a veteran employee tells you that they don't have what you want, just accept it!

Oh wait, now I remember where I am....

[Willis]

Look......just stop doing this. When a veteran employee tells you that they don't have what you want, just accept it!

Oh wait, now I remember where I am....

No not quite. I've been going to my local grocery store for a little over 2 years now. I went in one day through the self checkout and asked a guy for a certain brand of cigars I know that they have as singles and in a pack. I've seen this particular employee there for probably as long as I've been going there but not too often. I would consider him a veteran.

Anyways I ask for 2 of said cigars and he curtly tells me they don't sell them in singles, mind you without even going over to the counter and even looking. I tell him I know for a fact you have them because I just bought some like 2 days ago and can you please just look and get them for me. He says no I know we don't sell singles. He pissed me off at that point and by then he must've wanted to prove me wrong or got tired of me because he went over and asked an employee who just so happens to know me and gets me those cigars all the time. Employee tells him yea we do sell singles. All the guy could do was look over at me embarrassed and ask me how many do I want again. Yea. You know I said 2. When I went over to point them out, all of a sudden he knows where they are Whatever buddy a second ago you didn't sell singles only packs.

[Dave1982]

oh I'm not saying there aren't exceptions to this. I've made mistakes myself. But what I failed to convey here is that these arguments are ones that go on and on and on witht eh person continuing to insist we have the damn thing, and having me walk them around to various areas to check and even now seeing that we DON'T have it, they still insist we should.

[Ironclad Alibi]

And tonight I had a guy who wanted what he described as a piece of heavyweight paper that was covered on both sides with the same glue used on post-it notes. YOu stick it to the wall, then stick papers to it, sort of like a pin-less bulletin board.

I had something like that once, but the glue was only on one side. You stuck them to a wall with thumb tacks. I might still have a couple around the house somewhere. I got them at my office back in the 80s. I used them for holding the cardboard game pieces for my war games.

[Falor]

And tonight I had a guy who wanted what he described as a piece of heavyweight paper that was covered on both sides with the same glue used on post-it notes. YOu stick it to the wall, then stick papers to it, sort of like a pin-less bulletin board.

Amusingly, its available at the grocery store. I think they're called mounting strips or some such. We carry them in the 'hardware' area (you know, where the overpriced crappy picture hangers and crappy pliers and screwdrivers are).

[ravevolution]

Depending on the store type (high volume vs. low volume) and other parameters like location, demographics, etc. Some products are sold at one store but not at another, unfortunately customers assume all stores carry them >.<

Example for us, come winter time we get alot of phone calls for snow chains. But because we live in an area that sees no snow fall but do in the high far parts of the sierra we don't carry them. However the one store way up north does. We've also have experienced customers trying to return them to our stores which they can't cause 1. All sales are final when it comes to those things and 2. We can't return them to our inventory since we don't have a inventory listing for them. Though majority of the time those returns can't be made cause. . . you tell they have been used

[EricKei]

Amusingly, its available at the grocery store. I think they're called mounting strips or some such. We carry them in the 'hardware' area (you know, where the overpriced crappy picture hangers and crappy pliers and screwdrivers are).

I've seen mounting strips before, as well -- they're essentially glorified double-sided tape. However, I think this SC was looking for something bigger -- more like a 6x6 SHEET of double-sided sticky stuff.

[Android Kaeli]

Oh, I've gotten a few of these customers before. Had one customer swore up and down that the yarn had been moved from one side to the store to the other. Nevermind the fact that the yarn has been in the same spot, same aisles, maybe slightly different POG, since the store opened AND that not only myself (who has been working for said store for 7+ years) but my direct manager (who has been with the store since it opened) verified this to be true.

I'll readily admit that I don't know everything about the store nor do I know everything that we have. I've had customers who have argued that my store carries a certain kind of bead, of which we do not carry nor have we ever carried it before. I should know this, I practically live in that department and probably have sunk several paychecks into it. Oh the looks on the customers faces when I tell them this plus how long I've been working for the store.

[Jay 2K Winger]

Oh, yes, I know this kind of experience. I've worked at the wholesale club now for over nine years.

One of the worst was the person who asked where our photo lab is. I pointed them to the photo drop out in our vestibule.

SC: "No, your photo lab. Where you develop them."
J2K: "We don't develop them on-site. It's two-day processing."
SC: "Since when!?"
J2K: "...at least since I started working here, which was <x> years ago."
SC: "When did you stop?"
J2K: "I don't know. Since I've been working here, we've only ever had the two-day processing."

And around in a circle until they got it in their head that we don't do one-hour photo processing.

[MoonCat]

Yeah, I can sort of top that. Both these things are things we used to do before I ever started working here (30+ years ago!)

1) "Can you bill my ad to my phone number?" - No. No, we cannot. They stopped doing that many years ago, and what's more, we went to a prepay-only system in 2002!

2) "Can I get my mother's death notice laminated and sent to me?" - No. Again, they were no longer doing this in 1978 when I started working here, and we still don't.

The weirdest thing about this is that we get these questions most often from people who have been advertising for years. They should know by now!

[LadyAndreca]

I get that at the returns desk a lot. "You HAVE to take it back, I KNOW I bought it here!" Despite obvious labels from Blue Competitor or even occasionally Red Competitor (the nearest of which is thirty miles away).

Occasionally they even DID buy it at our store. Years ago, usually--the longest ago item I've returned successfully that wasn't a warranty issue was a water cooler from 2005. (That one, amazingly, had a receipt, so I did have to take it back.) I can usually tell on large items because the warehouse labels change color periodically. They've been orange for at least the year I've worked here, so if I see valid departments and SKUs, but purple or blue labels, I know I'm in for a fight...

[Dave1982]

I'm also noticing a sharp upswing in people expecting me and my colleagues to be their personal shoppers and retrieve a list of items one by one. This is something that we do not have the payroll to waste on, so it's very frustrating.

[CrazedClerkthe2nd]

This is particularly funny in my line of work when people ask me for games I KNOW don't exist.

Just the other day someone asked me if we had Saints Row for the Playstation 2. This game was never on Playstation 2 and I told him this. He simply did not believe me and sworn he had played the game.

Awhile back another customer wanted Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare on Playstation 2. Again this game does not exist. Cod 4 was NEVER on PS2. He gets an attitude with me and accuses me of not knowing what I'm talking about because he says he saw the game at Wal-mart.

I give this guy credit though because he later called the store back and apologized to me. Turns out the game he had seen was Call of Duty: World at War, which WAS made for PS2.

[Gidgetdigit]

S
Last week a woman asked for a "notarial ledger," which supposedly is a special ledger for notaries. Well, we don't carry ANY notary stuff whatsoever, nor have we ever in the time that I've been with the company. The closest thing to "notary" that we have is these gold seals for envelopes.

I am a notary, and I must say that the only place I have ever found a notary ledger (also known as a notary journal) is in Staples, and not all branches carry them. They are readily available online from a number of websites, however.

And unless you are very well-known as a notary, it will take a very long time to get through a notary ledger. I've had one for five years, and am not at the end of it yet. It may very well have been in stock when she bought it seven-odd years ago, but why anyone would assume that it would HAVE to still be in stock after all that time is beyond me. Especially something like that; unlike, say, Post-it notes. it's not an item that would be sold every day.

[Dave1982]

Either they've stopped carrying them since that time (which I think it the likely answer) or the stores in my region don't have them. My old store - pre-remodel - didn't have them and that was one of the biggest stores in the company (as Admiral Nechayev once put it, most of our stores don't have room for 16 feet of fake plants).

Regardless, my current store doesn't have them, and I wish people would trust me when I tell them these things.