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Surprisingly, Ive come across ONE single request that when I say no...it causes people to melt down and mountains to move. What is that request, you say? Well, my dearies, it is no more and no less than "CAN YOU COME CLIP MY TOENAILS?!?!"
Now, sounds simple, no? But, alas it is not. If you ask me to clip your nails, my answer is and will ALWAYS be NO. No matter how many times you ask. Why? B/c its a liability and i could be fired (not to mention, its hospital policy). Does that sound stupid? Well, imagine this:
A diabetic with decreased circulation to his feet/toes. Any tiny cut or abrasion can harbor the gnarliest bacteria and cause things to happen like GANGRENE AND AMPUTAIONS!! (dun dun dunnnnnnn!!) Guess who can be held responsible for it? 3 guesses and the first two dont count.
My conversations usually go something like this:
Patient family: Hi, my dad in room 3 needs his toenails clipped.
Me: Ok, well I can request a Podiatry consult in the AM and have them see him to take care of it.
PF: What do you mean??? Just go in there with a a clipper and take care of them.
Me: No. We dont even carry nail clippers in the hospital.
PF: So if i bring them in from home will you do it then?
Me: No, Its also a matter of hospital policy. *Goes on to explain what I said above with the bacteria and etc.*
PF. Thats bullshit! If theres a doctor consult then we have to pay for them too!
Me: Yes. You would. But those are your options while he's here.
PF: Cant you just do it?! I wont tell!
Me: *eyeballs of death*
PF: *blargle, complaining, threatening*
Me: Let me ask you a question.
PF: FINE!!
Me: Who cuts your dads toenails when hes not in the hospital?
PF: His podiatrist, of course.
Me: *
* oh, ok then. *meanders away*
*Yes, ive actually has this convo and several others like it...including people who just stared at me when i explained what could happen and left still convinced that I was lazy. Go figure*
Now, sounds simple, no? But, alas it is not. If you ask me to clip your nails, my answer is and will ALWAYS be NO. No matter how many times you ask. Why? B/c its a liability and i could be fired (not to mention, its hospital policy). Does that sound stupid? Well, imagine this:
A diabetic with decreased circulation to his feet/toes. Any tiny cut or abrasion can harbor the gnarliest bacteria and cause things to happen like GANGRENE AND AMPUTAIONS!! (dun dun dunnnnnnn!!) Guess who can be held responsible for it? 3 guesses and the first two dont count.
My conversations usually go something like this:
Patient family: Hi, my dad in room 3 needs his toenails clipped.
Me: Ok, well I can request a Podiatry consult in the AM and have them see him to take care of it.
PF: What do you mean??? Just go in there with a a clipper and take care of them.
Me: No. We dont even carry nail clippers in the hospital.
PF: So if i bring them in from home will you do it then?
Me: No, Its also a matter of hospital policy. *Goes on to explain what I said above with the bacteria and etc.*
PF. Thats bullshit! If theres a doctor consult then we have to pay for them too!
Me: Yes. You would. But those are your options while he's here.
PF: Cant you just do it?! I wont tell!
Me: *eyeballs of death*
PF: *blargle, complaining, threatening*
Me: Let me ask you a question.
PF: FINE!!
Me: Who cuts your dads toenails when hes not in the hospital?
PF: His podiatrist, of course.
Me: *
* oh, ok then. *meanders away**Yes, ive actually has this convo and several others like it...including people who just stared at me when i explained what could happen and left still convinced that I was lazy. Go figure*
He is my Black Dragon (and yes, a good one) strong, protective, the guardian. I am his Silver Dragon, always by his side, shining for him, cherishing him.
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