I hate the first of the month.

[guitardude1987]

I've got this incredibly great drama I'd like to write/film that involves the day to day happenings at my place of employment. Sadly, I doubt Boss Lady would let me considering I wouldn't portray her (or the store in general) in the greatest of lights.

Anyway, on to the crap.

Thanks, for the advice. It wasn't solicited, but thanks.

Our drive-thru speaker is broken (has been for about a month) and Boss Lady isn't really trying very hard (at all, actually) to get it fixed. Something about it costing $100 bucks. I don't know, really. Or care. Anyway, despite the fact that our drive thru speaker is broken, Boss Lady insists on keeping it open for business and putting a sign on the speaker telling customers to drive on around and wait in line. I try my damnedest to keep that line going as quickly as I can, but there are only so many people I can pull forward and I don't usually have time to go outside and take orders by hand. This all being said, people can get annoyed when they've waited 10 minutes in line without their order even being taken. This woman, however, pissed me off.

Me: "Hi, what can I get for you?"
SC: "Well, for starters, you can start getting people through this line a hell of a lot faster!"
Me: "I'm sorry, but our speaker isn't working. I do keep the line going as quickly as I can, but there is only so much space to pull people waiting on food order forward."
SC: "I don't give a shit! You need to be parking those people in the damn parking lot to wait on their food and you need to be out here with pen and paper in hand to take our orders down! All I wanted was a goddamn Coke and I have had to wait FIVE minutes in this line without someone coming to me and asking what I want!"
Me: "Ok, then. What size Coke?"
SC: "Are you even LISTENING to what I'm saying?!"
Me: "Oh, I hear you perfectly and I understand exactly what you're saying. I can't, however, follow through with that bit of advice. We try our best with what our boss gives us to work with."

She drove off after flipping me the bird.

I have a very low bullshit tolerance.

I have a lot of patience. I really do. When interacting with customers whose collective IQ is equal to 6, you really have to. There are, however, things that I don't have patience for, and prolonged exposure to bullshit is one of them.

It took a woman TWENTY minutes to write a FUCKING check. I kid you not. 20 minutes, and not a second faster. Why did it take so long, you ask? Because she was unhappy with her signature. She decided to keep writing checks until she signed a check "perfectly". The following takes place about 10 minutes into this little adventure.

Me: "...ma'am, it really doesn't matter if your signature isn't perfect as long as it's legible."
SC: "It matters to me!"
Me:

So, as she's perfecting her signature, I decide to do more productive things, like cleaning and helping other people. I get to do this for about five minutes until she notices that I'm not paying attention to her.

SC: "Excuse me! Aren't you supposed to be helping me?!"
Me: "I'm passing the time until you find a way to give me money for you food. Which is done, by the way. It's been done for five minutes, I think."
SC: "I'm not done writing my check! I --"
Me: "I can see that. Until you're done, though, I'm going to act as though you handed me your check fifteen minutes ago, got your food, and left like a normal person rather than what you're doing now, which is wasting my time and energy waiting on you to finish doing something which should take all of a minute and a half. Your signature does. not. matter. It doesn't. Please. Just make a scribble resembling your name in some way on your check, hand me the check, and take your food. Please."

I don't think much of that processed in her brain. She sort of just got a serene/glazed look in her eyes, handed me her check, and took her food...

It's been two weeks I think, since this happened, so I'm certain I'm not going to get in trouble for that little tirade. The best part? As she put her check book in her bag, I noticed a fucking debit/credit card in one of the little pockets of the checkbook.

An arrest was made.

This guy came in during the Friday night rush, stood near the condiment bar, and just stood and stared at everyone. Then he left. About an hour later, he comes back in. This time, however, he isn't wearing a shirt and his pants are slipping so low (he wasn't wearing underwear) that I can almost see his...unit. Anyway, just to make sure this potential lunatic doesn't decide to knife me at the counter, I take his order. This guy had to be on something. There's not way around it. He'd go from ordering food one minute and then looking all around him to make sure that the voices he's hearing are coming from outside of his head rather than inside (that's just my assumption). As Lunatic is ordering, the sheriff (who usually comes in on Friday to get a milkshake) happens to walk in. He sees Lunatic and watches him through the rest of the transaction, and lets Lunatic sit down. He then walks up to me, asks if I can refund the guy his money, then walks up to Lunatic and takes him outside. They "chat" for a while as I get the guy's money back out of the drawer. Sheriff finally brings Lunatic back inside, cuffed, and leads him away while putting the guy's money I refunded in his pocket.

And all was well.

[searssoulslave]

The woman with the check sounds like she may have had OCD.

[Snowbird]

The woman with the check sounds like she may have had OCD.

Or she was wasting the OP's time perfecting her forgery skills. >.>

[EvilEmpryss]

Searssoulslave and Snowbird hit on the first two things that popped into my head. If she's a thief, she might have thought she wouldn't have been able to use that debit card (not realizing that most places don't ask for a pin number if the purchase is under $25 or so). I'm leaning towards OCD since most scammers try to get in and out of the situation as fast as possible.

[MoonCat]

Gotta love the one with the Coke. Oh my heavens, she had to wait FIVE. WHOLE. MINUTES. Obviously the cosmos is going to come apart and her entire life is now ruined because she didn't get that Coke in under 5 minutes. Here's an idea: next time, she could go to a convenience store, run in and buy a bottle. Of course, that will require getting off her butt.

[draftermatt]

Here's an idea: next time, she could go to a convenience store, run in and buy a bottle. Of course, that will require getting off her butt.

Why get up? A lot of pharmacies have drive throughs. Go through one of them, and demand that the pharmacist get you a coke, refuse to leave until they do it.

After all if you have time to wait in a drive through for a drink you have time to harass a pharmacist.

[Kristev]

Why on earth would one go to a drive-through to get a Coke anyway? Why waste the free refills you get by sitting inside, in the air conditioning?

[Whiskey]

Why on earth would one go to a drive-through to get a Coke anyway? Why waste the free refills you get by sitting inside, in the air conditioning?

On the way somewhere?

[Project_Mars]

On the way somewhere?

So then if you notice a long line at the drive-thru... Why not park, go in, order a coke, and probably be out quicker?

[Mr Hero]

Check Lady is nuts. I hope she gets free checks because she's going to need them.

[ShinyGreenApple]

I hate checks in this day and age. Most places give them back to the customer anyways, so it's pretty pointless unless you put them in the mail to pay bills.

[Whiskey]

So then if you notice a long line at the drive-thru... Why not park, go in, order a coke, and probably be out quicker?

It costs more in gas to turn a car off and on than to leave it on for five minutes.

[AccountingDrone]

So then if you notice a long line at the drive-thru... Why not park, go in, order a coke, and probably be out quicker?

I use drive throughs when I am alone because it is pretty much impossible to carry a drink and use crutches [I rarely use my wheelchair for anything other than longish walking like grocery shopping or stuff like that. Crutches let me get in through doors that are not automatic.] and sometimes I am on my way somewhere to actually do something, so I am on a schedule =)

[Magpie]

It costs more in gas to turn a car off and on than to leave it on for five minutes.

Not with newer cars. It's down to about 10 seconds these days. Source

[Chromatix]

Even with older cars that would surprise me. A bog-standard Renault 12 engine (mid-1970s design, based heavily on a mid-1960s design) would normally start in a few seconds without pressing the accelerator, assuming it was in good condition. Most of that would be spent getting enough air through the carb to start picking up fuel. It certainly wouldn't use more fuel during that time than if it had been idling.

Admittedly, a cold engine used to require using the "choke", a device which provided extra fuel for the same amount of air. But if you've just switched it off for a few minutes, the engine will still be warm and the choke would not be needed. The same goes for the glow plugs in diesel engines.

When my dad had a Renault 12, he would sometimes avoid turning it off even when parked - but that's because, in it's final year, it often had trouble starting. A *lot* of trouble. We ended up pushing it down the road (which was downhill) to start it many times. Eventually it wouldn't even start reliably after using the whole hill. But that's because it was completely worn out after a much longer lifespan than Renaults of the time usually managed.