Tweet
Been a while since I had enough suck to actually report on it, but the past three... yes three, weeks have given me plenty.
Dear Customers
As an open letter to my Customers I would like to inform you of the following things.
I know that the price of EVERYTHING tobacco related is expensive, so don't complain when that swisher you buy isn't 75 cents like it was almost 10 years ago when you started smoking... oh and yes we are pretty sure that you aren't smoking it for it's rich full bodied flavor, especially when you also buy a High Times, or ask us if we have a razor blade.
As a side note, along with removing such phrases as Lights, Mediums and Ultralights, the recent FDA ban also eliminated sales of cigarettes in packs below 20. That means, much like wire hangers, no more single sticks ever.
Do not be surprised that you dear customer, who I should mention looks roughly about 16, get carded, while the guy who has a full beard, which I might add would rival ZZ Top's two bearded guys in length and hair that is cut short, and all of said things (aside from the face) are white, got carded, bonus points if you claim it's race and said guy looks like Richard Roundtree, because he's one bad mother...
again, you want to complain about the prices of tobacco related products going up. Here's a list of things you can do, go back in time and stop the massive class action lawsuit from happening, vote for tobacco friendly candidates, or you know quit smoking.
We are not a local corner store, I don't know why you think this since just about every corner you turn in the store points to it being an 8-10. That means that yes things will be more expensive, and no we wont give you a single cigar at 75 cents because the place you usually go sells them for that... in fact I think I know why you're here instead of there...
CW Suck
Recently one of our favorite employees, we'll call him Smi...no don't want o insul Smiley, we'll just call him S, was put on (permanent) on call status. YOu know it's incredibly bad when everyone else is willing to give up their time , just to ensure he's not in the mix.
Why is that you ask?
Here's things that have come to light over the past few months.
1) He was incredibly lazy, so lazy that everyone ended up doing most of his job for him, and by everyone I mean me and morning guy, who we'll call C.
2) Gave out free food to customers. Yes I realize it might have been noble for him to give them to him, however he could have put us in serious jeopardy if we had been inspected while he did this.
3) His second job as an Ice Cream Man. Various reports are him not claiming, and the fact that in the middle of us being extremely short handed (we were already down one person, two if you count himself) wanted others to take his shift, or at least part of it.
4) Never showed up on time. We're supposed to be there 10 minutes early, but on time is acceptable. However showing up on average about 7 minutes AFTER on time is just plain bad form dumbass.
5) We try not to break $50 or $100 bills after about 8 PM, except for the following circumstances: Big lottery payout, they literally came from the store's ATM, or they have a total that isn't going to leave us with nothing. What does S do when I have a customer trying to break a $100 bill for a $4.50 purchase?
Me (to customer): Sorry I don't have change for that.
S: OH you should have some in the drawer.
Me (In my head): Oh great hope nobody else heard that we have change for $100 in a little easily accessed drawer, and breaks our record of being the only 8-10 in the area that hasn't been robbed in the last 15 years, next time shut your trap and let me handle the customers.
6) You just know it's bad when new hires are doing much better than you, after 1 month, and you've been here 3 or so years.
Can you see why we were willing to work extra?
CW Suck pt. 2
One of the other guys recently fired was a roomy to C. We should have known it was bad when the only reason he didn't start earlier was that he was in Arizona serving out a DUI.
And guess what, at the end of July he has to tell our bosses that he has to go away for 2 months, why, 60 days for a DUI from before that one.
I swear sometimes I wonder how t he rest of us stay sane.
Dear Customers
As an open letter to my Customers I would like to inform you of the following things.
I know that the price of EVERYTHING tobacco related is expensive, so don't complain when that swisher you buy isn't 75 cents like it was almost 10 years ago when you started smoking... oh and yes we are pretty sure that you aren't smoking it for it's rich full bodied flavor, especially when you also buy a High Times, or ask us if we have a razor blade.
As a side note, along with removing such phrases as Lights, Mediums and Ultralights, the recent FDA ban also eliminated sales of cigarettes in packs below 20. That means, much like wire hangers, no more single sticks ever.
Do not be surprised that you dear customer, who I should mention looks roughly about 16, get carded, while the guy who has a full beard, which I might add would rival ZZ Top's two bearded guys in length and hair that is cut short, and all of said things (aside from the face) are white, got carded, bonus points if you claim it's race and said guy looks like Richard Roundtree, because he's one bad mother...
again, you want to complain about the prices of tobacco related products going up. Here's a list of things you can do, go back in time and stop the massive class action lawsuit from happening, vote for tobacco friendly candidates, or you know quit smoking.
We are not a local corner store, I don't know why you think this since just about every corner you turn in the store points to it being an 8-10. That means that yes things will be more expensive, and no we wont give you a single cigar at 75 cents because the place you usually go sells them for that... in fact I think I know why you're here instead of there...
CW Suck
Recently one of our favorite employees, we'll call him Smi...no don't want o insul Smiley, we'll just call him S, was put on (permanent) on call status. YOu know it's incredibly bad when everyone else is willing to give up their time , just to ensure he's not in the mix.
Why is that you ask?
Here's things that have come to light over the past few months.
1) He was incredibly lazy, so lazy that everyone ended up doing most of his job for him, and by everyone I mean me and morning guy, who we'll call C.
2) Gave out free food to customers. Yes I realize it might have been noble for him to give them to him, however he could have put us in serious jeopardy if we had been inspected while he did this.
3) His second job as an Ice Cream Man. Various reports are him not claiming, and the fact that in the middle of us being extremely short handed (we were already down one person, two if you count himself) wanted others to take his shift, or at least part of it.
4) Never showed up on time. We're supposed to be there 10 minutes early, but on time is acceptable. However showing up on average about 7 minutes AFTER on time is just plain bad form dumbass.
5) We try not to break $50 or $100 bills after about 8 PM, except for the following circumstances: Big lottery payout, they literally came from the store's ATM, or they have a total that isn't going to leave us with nothing. What does S do when I have a customer trying to break a $100 bill for a $4.50 purchase?
Me (to customer): Sorry I don't have change for that.
S: OH you should have some in the drawer.
Me (In my head): Oh great hope nobody else heard that we have change for $100 in a little easily accessed drawer, and breaks our record of being the only 8-10 in the area that hasn't been robbed in the last 15 years, next time shut your trap and let me handle the customers.
6) You just know it's bad when new hires are doing much better than you, after 1 month, and you've been here 3 or so years.
Can you see why we were willing to work extra?
CW Suck pt. 2
One of the other guys recently fired was a roomy to C. We should have known it was bad when the only reason he didn't start earlier was that he was in Arizona serving out a DUI.
And guess what, at the end of July he has to tell our bosses that he has to go away for 2 months, why, 60 days for a DUI from before that one.
I swear sometimes I wonder how t he rest of us stay sane.