Salmon Slap

[Buzzy]

Haven't posted in a long time. I had an interesting customer today while I was at the service desk.



Phone rings.
Me: Thanks for calling (grocery store), this is Buzzy, how may I help you?
SC: Yea, I bought some salmon from your store and it tastes awful! I buy stuff from your store all the time and I never keep the reciepts so I don't have it anymore, but I bought it there and it's AWFUL! It's GROSS!
Me: I'm sorry to hear that, if you bring it in you can get a store credit since you dont have the reciept, or a replacement.
SC: OK. See, I went to cook it earlier and when I realized how gross it was I looked at the package and it said caught in the USA! If I had known where it was caught when I bought it, I wouldn't have gotten it! I wanted the wild-caught Alaskan salmon!

(ok, since when is Alaska not part of the United States? I felt like mentioning that to her, but she was already pissy and that would just make me come across as a snob)

Me: Is the salmon you bought pre-frozen or fresh from the meat department?
SC: Meat department.
Me: Would you like to talk to them and tell them what happened?

(Apparently this offended her...)

SC: (Suddenly more condescending to me) Excuse me, but I believe that's YOUR job to do! You're supposed to be HELPING the CUSTOMER, not the other way around!

(????)

Me: Well, ma'am, when a customer has a complaint about a product from a certain dept., that dept. prefers to hear it from the customer themselves rather than another employee. (it's true, they just kinda brush it off when we tell them) I will pass the message along to them, though.
SC: So aren't you going to be able to do anything for me? Am I stuck here with $20 worth of salmon that tastes awful?!?!

(Bitch, did you not hear me say earlier that you can come in and GET A REPLACEMENT OR A STORE CREDIT???)

Me: We can help you, you can come in and get a store credit or replacement, ma'am.
SC: Oh my god. What's your name? SPELL IT OUT FOR ME.
Me: (whaaa?) B-U-Z-Z-Y...
SC: Are you going to be there in about an hour when I get there?
Me: Yes, I am.
SC: You better be! *click*

I didn't know why she got so pissy about that, I mean, most people when they get something nasty they just, y'know, bring it back and get it taken care of, and don't bitch like that. I also don't know why she needed my name so badly. I began to wonder if she was going to come in and complain that I was "unhelpful" even though I didn't do anything wrong, and I told her straight up that we could get her some kind of reinbursement for the bad fish.

I warned the meat department, the other people working at customer service, and the manager. They agreed that I did nothing wrong and all would take my side if she did complain about whatever I did that pissed her off.

OK, so I worried, worried, and worried some more. I was for sure that she would come storming in and whine bitch and complain about me. And I wanted to wait for her to come in before I went on break, but after almost 2 hours (about an hour, my ass!), I gave up and went on break. Aaaaaaaand, she came in while I was away. She apparently didn't throw a fit, just asked for me, they said I was on break, she said she called about the salmon, and accepted her store credit, and left.

10 bucks if I had been up at the service desk she'd have ripped me a new one. I just wonder why she needed my name so badly...

[Mytical]

Probably so she could come in and say "Buzzy said I could return this." or something to that effect.

[ArcticChicken]

I once had a woman whine and bitch to me because she had to come aaalll the way back to the store for a refund. I could not get it through her moronic skull that I could not magically give her a refund over the phone.

[Kristev]

Why did she want your name so badly? "The blame game."

"The blame game. Want it, want it, can't hear you. Banannarama fiddle de doo, want it!
Whining. Whining, more whining, bo-whining, I want manager, fe fi, no, no, no! Wwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhaaaaaaawwwwww!
Now come on, little cashier, let's have a little sport.
You'll either give me what I want, or I'll act like Superjerk!
Anything employee said, we treat it like we didn't hear.
Instead we'll give him B. S., threats and hysterical tears. . ."

You know the words, sing along!

[MoonCat]

When I saw the thread title, all I could think of was Monty Python's "fish slapping dance."

And I've had both kinds of salmon, they taste the same to me...she probably overcooked it or something.

[Sterlingbond]

I would be willing to venture a guess that she'd probably never, or at least rarely ever, eaten salmon before. In my opinion, the most well known salmon that the average person is likely to hear about is the wild Alaskan salmon because lots of people talk about it, and it is pretty damn tasty too I also agree with the (i believe) above poster. She probably didn't cook it right. Dammit, now i want some of my grandma's homemade salmon patties...

[EmiOfBrie]

I love salmon...I've made salmon salad, I've fried salmon, I've made salmon chowder.

And even with canned salmon, the bones are so brittle you can easily chew them, and they're a good source of calcium!

[kpzra]

I hear it all the time, especially working at the airport, that we aren't part of the U.S.