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There's an odd woman that I have only ever seen twice and I hope to never see again. She's around 5"2" and I would say around fifty years old, always acts like she's in a huge hurry, and usually has a guy with her named Chris, who is around twenty or so.
The first time I saw her, she pulled into my checkout line in a hurry, poor little Chris tagging behind. She fiddles with different things while I scan her items. She just about scres the living shit out of me when all of a sudden, she screams, "OH GOD, Chris, we forgot CAT FOOD!" And she shoves him out of the way and tears off down aisle eight. A minute later she's back, breathing hard and literally throws six cans of cat food at me.
Just then, a co-worker comes up behind me and reminds me of a joke we'd shared a little earlier, and I chuckled and replied to my co-worker's comment. Well, this does not please Crazy Lady. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" she screams. Heads turn. Everyone looks. "I am NOT a circus freak!" I just stared at her, completely dumb-founded.
"Ma'am, I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at something my co---"
"OH GOD, I don't have any change! Oh, here's a penny. Thank you, Jesus!"
Whoa. Chris, who is standing behind her, just shrugs and smiles, as if to say, "Excuse this woman, she's nucking futs." I smile back.
She leaves. The end, right? I wish.
Few weeks later, I'm back stocking dairy with the same co-worker from before. He and I enjoy the same type of humor. So, as usual, he's making me laugh. I'm cutting boxes and throwing them in a buggy, smiling. I look up and see Chris and Crazy emerge from aisle two. Chris smiles at me; all is forgotten.
About twenty minutes later, I got called up front (for about the tenth time that day) to bag. Just as I'm coming up, the manager on duty says, "Won't leave you alone, will they?" We chuckle (we chuckle a lot at work, hehe.) Well, I chuckled at the wrong time. There, standing in line, is Crazy and Chris. The smile on my face high-tails it.
Bagged her order, stepped away. Co-worker (B) stopped me a few feet away from Crazy and asked me a question while another co-worker (L) is standing there, so we're all in a small circle. Suddenly, Crazy comes barreling through the conversation, pushes B out of the way, and yells in my face.
"I thought I told you last time I was in here to STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"
What the fuck?
"Ma'am, I believe I told you last time you were in here that I wasn't laughing at you."
Chris is standing behind her, glaring at me.
Again...what the fuck? He now reminds me of the villain's sidekick, like the eels in the Little Mermaid or something. Crazy speaks up again, "Well, laughing on the job is not allowed. I will be notificationing (I swear that's what she said) your manager of this."
My boss loves me. Screw being on his good side. I AM his good side. So that little threat....wasn't. "Go ahead."
"It is just so rude. Come on, Chris."
ARGH Why are these people allowed to roam the streets?
Apologies for the length of this one, just needed to rant a bit.
The first time I saw her, she pulled into my checkout line in a hurry, poor little Chris tagging behind. She fiddles with different things while I scan her items. She just about scres the living shit out of me when all of a sudden, she screams, "OH GOD, Chris, we forgot CAT FOOD!" And she shoves him out of the way and tears off down aisle eight. A minute later she's back, breathing hard and literally throws six cans of cat food at me.
Just then, a co-worker comes up behind me and reminds me of a joke we'd shared a little earlier, and I chuckled and replied to my co-worker's comment. Well, this does not please Crazy Lady. "STOP LAUGHING AT ME!" she screams. Heads turn. Everyone looks. "I am NOT a circus freak!" I just stared at her, completely dumb-founded.
"Ma'am, I wasn't laughing at you. I was laughing at something my co---"
"OH GOD, I don't have any change! Oh, here's a penny. Thank you, Jesus!"
Whoa. Chris, who is standing behind her, just shrugs and smiles, as if to say, "Excuse this woman, she's nucking futs." I smile back.
She leaves. The end, right? I wish.
Few weeks later, I'm back stocking dairy with the same co-worker from before. He and I enjoy the same type of humor. So, as usual, he's making me laugh. I'm cutting boxes and throwing them in a buggy, smiling. I look up and see Chris and Crazy emerge from aisle two. Chris smiles at me; all is forgotten.
About twenty minutes later, I got called up front (for about the tenth time that day) to bag. Just as I'm coming up, the manager on duty says, "Won't leave you alone, will they?" We chuckle (we chuckle a lot at work, hehe.) Well, I chuckled at the wrong time. There, standing in line, is Crazy and Chris. The smile on my face high-tails it.
Bagged her order, stepped away. Co-worker (B) stopped me a few feet away from Crazy and asked me a question while another co-worker (L) is standing there, so we're all in a small circle. Suddenly, Crazy comes barreling through the conversation, pushes B out of the way, and yells in my face.
"I thought I told you last time I was in here to STOP LAUGHING AT ME!"
What the fuck?
"Ma'am, I believe I told you last time you were in here that I wasn't laughing at you."
Chris is standing behind her, glaring at me.
Again...what the fuck? He now reminds me of the villain's sidekick, like the eels in the Little Mermaid or something. Crazy speaks up again, "Well, laughing on the job is not allowed. I will be notificationing (I swear that's what she said) your manager of this."
My boss loves me. Screw being on his good side. I AM his good side. So that little threat....wasn't. "Go ahead."
"It is just so rude. Come on, Chris."
ARGH Why are these people allowed to roam the streets?
Apologies for the length of this one, just needed to rant a bit.
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