Most asinine ways to get your attention

[MCSledgehammer]

I've only gotten the occasional whistle, I usually launch into a whistled rendition of "Galway Bay". (Yes, my family is very Irish... I learned that particular talent at a young age.) I just keep whistling until they get really confused. Then I remind them that they started it...
The ones that really drive me nuts are the pet names. "Hey, sweetheart!" "Yes, schnoogum-boogums?" It gives them pause. And is particularly entertaining if their wives are with them.

[npro_god]

"Yes, schnoogum-boogums?" It gives them pause. And is particularly entertaining if their wives are with them.

Oh...my...god. I now have a new annoying pet name for my gf.

[Getoutofmylobby]

We have this one old lady, a regular weekend customer, who always demands prompt and attentive service. Actually, she's just a bitch who believes the customer service industry revolves around her. If i'm helping someone else, she'll butt to the head of the line and say "(her last name, as if i already didn't know it), make sure i'm prepared when my time comes." If i'm away from the desk when she checks in, she slaps the desk with her open palm and yells out "Service!" until i get back. Then she usually has some snide remark about how "this place has sure gone downhill."

Boy, do i hate her.

The next time she comes in i'm gonna sit in the back room and watch her on the security cameras. Yep, i'm gonna sit down, sip a cold drink and watch her yell out "Service!" until i'm damn good and ready to give her her m-----f---ing service.

[Imogene]

I could have a line of people almost out the door and some idiot will barge up to the front and say, "excuse me..." right as I'm trying to count change back to a customer. I don't mind answering questions in between register rings but they're damn well going to wait until I'm ready.

At Chesterfield, we had three registers, set up in an L shape, with the leg at the bottom holding one register, and the long side holding two, with the L facing toward the wall. I would routinely be on the register on the long end that was closest to the leg, busily helping someone check out, and someone (usually young...) would stand at the register on the leg, waiting for me to notice them.

One of the best parts about this situation was that, although I had seen them long before they decided to just stand there waiting, if they got angry about it, I had a medical excuse, and directions to constantly be looking to my left (to correct my so called 'left-neglect' after my stroke) and thus, could ignore the morons who stayed there, quiet, wasting their lives. Particularly if they had tried to get my attention already while I was ringing out the customer in front of them.

[Retail Associate]

The phrase I absolutely refuse to respond to is "HEY!" or "HEY YOU!" But the thing that used to drive me nuts were the bells customers could ring for service. If someone didn't respond in a split second to their *ding-ding* some SC's would stand there and hit those damn bells over and over again. NO ONE wanted to go help those idiots at that point.

After the remodel the bells were removed and replaced with red phones. There are 5 red phones in our dept and they all ring through to me. Now my freaking phone rings for every stupid little thing the SC's can think of. One of these days I'm going to bring in a flame thrower and melt them damn phones down to a smoldering pile of plastic.

God I hate retail!

[shelly2jn]

I was walking through the shop floor last night when a 'gentleman' just shouts fruit at me. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow and said - "are you really, that's nice" and carried on walking.....took everything I had not to look back to see the look on his face

[friendofjimmyk]

Touching, grabbing pulling or tugging does not get my attention, it just gets me irked..no matter if I'm working or not. I had a regular of one of my old bars try to (get my attention?) one night by grabbing a boob (he said he was trying to grab my arm), bad bad thing when I'm somewhere where all the bouncers know & love me..

UGH! That reminds me of a time I was slingin' drinks and I had my back to the bar in the register and some drunk asshat leaned over the bar and SMACKED me square on the ass to get my attention - I forgot about that until you mentioned the boob thing.

The ass man - cut off - instantly - pulled the full drink in front of him and told his buddies to take him home!

[RecoveringKinkoid]

"I was walking through the shop floor last night when a 'gentleman' just shouts fruit at me. I looked at him and raised an eyebrow and said - "are you really, that's nice"

Well, so much for rule number 1. Let me get a paper towel.

Just once I'd like to get through the day without coffee on my shirt.

[tintaglia]

I have a choice of ways people annoy me for attention

The main one, though is when I am fixing the shelves near the door and customer comes in, looks at me ( I either smile and nod, or say hi depening on my mood and theirs, as a lot of people don't like being spoken to) and they stand at the desk giving 'i am here you know' coughs, so I go round and ask if I can help, only for them to ask a question I could have answered from where I was standing. I will never know why they don't just come over, they know I saw 'em

The most annoying was definitly last week, with a regular pain in the ass
There I was giving advice to a lady, when HE comes in (we used to tolerate this man till he came in really drunk and abusive, and now we try to get rid of him as soon as poss, and he insists on using our names every 2nd word)
So I am in view of the counter, talking to nice lady about her new kitty, and HE is at the desk loudly muttering 'for f***'s sake' and 'c'mon' and lovely things like that, I am on my own and my blood is starting to boil as he has been waiting 5 seconds, getting more vocal about 'this is ridiculous' grrrr
My lady gave me an understanding look, so I served him and got him out.
The reason for his hurry? Oh yeah the pub was still open.

[Gurndigarn]

Okok, the other weirdest ways people try to get my attention involves attempting to speak english and being poor at it, or randomly saying things in foreign languages, but I guess we don't talk about that here

May sound strange, but if they're attempting English, it's courteous at the very least.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Count me in as one of those who hates whistlers.

The next time that happens, I am really tempted to put something in my mouth and crawl over to the person on all fours. If you're going to treat me like a dog, then I might as well act like one.

[MadMike]

The next time that happens, I am really tempted to put something in my mouth and crawl over to the person on all fours. If you're going to treat me like a dog, then I might as well act like one.

Don't forget to piss on their leg while you're at it.

[Rapscallion]

Who was it who said, "Sir, it takes more than two fingers to make me come," when beckoned?

Rapscallion

[shelly2jn]

Who was it who said, "Sir, it takes more than two fingers to make me come," when beckoned?

Rapscallion

Oh God!! Rule one strikes again! that is hilarious

[iradney]

my favourite is when someone beckons to me and says "just come quickly"
I leer and say "oh honey, if only it were that easy". Mind you, I only do that with my co-workers who know I'm joking!