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  • #1

    The FDA Is Sadistic

    I'm gonna be short and to the point (which is a rareity for me). I'm tired of situations like the following:

    Picture it, VaBeach, 2010...

    M: Moi

    SC: You already know

    SC: I want a pack of Blah and Blah.

    M: May I please see your ID?

    SC: *sighs and opens wallet, showing me the clear ID thingy*

    {Store policy dictates we have to actually scan the ID. Somehow our POS can determine if it's fake and/or expired, though I look at everything anyway. We can get "documentated" for not scanning.}

    M: *bracing for the inevitable* Sir/Ma'am, I actually have to scan your ID. It's store policy. Also we have to card every time.

    SC: WHY?!

    Cause you touch yourself at night...

    M: The FDA made it mandatory on June 22 of this year that we had to card anyone who "appears" under the age of 27, which you do, therefore I'm carding you. I have to scan it because that's store policy. I have to do this EVERYTIME.

    SC: No you don't because no one here is gonna rat you out, c'mon!

    M: Actually, these cameras will rat me out *points to the 4 cameras facing the register area* and I need my job, thanks.

    SC: $#@! this $#@! Just forget about it! *storms off*

    Asshole.
    Last edited by Dave1982; 08-31-2010, 06:35 AM.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Because it's such an incredibly difficult thing to pull the (likely fake) ID card out and hand it over to the cashier! How can you make them do so much horrible work and strain their po' widdle muscles!!
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

    Comment

    • #3
      I've said it before, and I'll keep saying it until my manager's eardrums pop like firecrackers.

      I want one of those ID scanners. The cool customers can learn something about it, while the SCs have a new reason to hate me. XD
      My other car is a Mackinaw.

      Comment

      • #4
        If that doesn't make them hate you, nothing will. And they will hate every breath you take in as though it were etched with the bittersweet taste of denial. Kill them softly.

        Comment

        • #5
          Quoth Maximillion View Post
          If that doesn't make them hate you, nothing will. And they will hate every breath you take in as though it were etched with the bittersweet taste of denial. Kill them softly.
          What about if I couple the ID scanner with a metal-detector wand?

          ...damn, that would be even more evil.
          My other car is a Mackinaw.

          Comment

          • #6
            Which do you think will win out, the nicotine cravings or the SC attitude? Then again, she can still pitch a fit as she pulls out her ID.

            Quoth ZedOmega View Post
            What about if I couple the ID scanner with a metal-detector wand?

            ...damn, that would be even more evil.
            Build a fake one with a button that sets off a loud alarm. Watch how fast they run!
            Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
            Save the Ales!
            Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

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            • #7
              Quoth ZedOmega View Post
              I want one of those ID scanners. The cool customers can learn something about it, while the SCs have a new reason to hate me. XD
              Wait, you're security at a bar and you don't have a scanner? Is it just that your scammers are underachievers?

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              • #8
                Keep asking for ID. Don't let the SC's talk you into not doing so.
                "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

                Comment

                • #9
                  I'm proud of my passport and show it off whenever I. D. is required. This is helpful, since I don't drive and therefore have no need of a driver's license. However, it is also true that I do not purchase liquor or porn. God, I'm boring.
                  Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                  Comment

                  • #10
                    Quoth Kristev View Post
                    it is also true that I do not purchase liquor or porn.



                    ...On second thought, that may not be the best emoticon to use >_>

                    Anyhoo, how do you deal with the memories of your customers, then?
                    "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                    "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                    "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                    "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                    "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                    "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                    Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                    "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                    • #11
                      Dude, I want that ID scanner! Why have barcodes on the back of IDs if you're not going to scan them?!
                      "hell with fluorescent lighting."

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                      • #12
                        There is bar around here that for a while was scanning IDs to see if anyone on probation/parole was trying to get into bars.
                        You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

                        Comment

                        • #13
                          -Abducts the ID scanner- Quite frankly, my register is supposed to prompt me to ID anybody buying spray paint and canned air... And in 3 years, it never has. But when it does, I'd love to have one of those babies ~ Though... At least one Wawa and one 7-Eleven never card me when I buy my mother cigarettes... Likely because they see me at each location so much, they KNOW I'm old enough

                          Maybe Tizzy-tosser was suffering the effects of the 90+ degree weather... For all we know, she was coming from another part of the state where it's way cooler(Mother recently reconnected with a childhood friend, now living out at the western tip of the state in the mountains... And said friend was complaining about the 80-something weather as we were melting from a heat index of 100 )... No reason to pitch a fit like that, though. If you don't want us to think you're lying, don't throw a fit
                          Look, a signature!

                          If every cashier in the world went on strike, retail would come to a screeching halt, even if for a couple hours.

                          Comment

                          • #14
                            If you are getting anything that requires an ID, have the damn thing out and ready AND don't bitch about it! I don't care if you're 100, just have it out! And on you!!! They are ID's for a reason!!! Sorry, had a lot of "I left my ID in my room" idiots lately.

                            Comment

                            • #15
                              Quoth csquared View Post
                              Build a fake one with a button that sets off a loud alarm. Watch how fast they run!
                              That idea just earned you a spot on the advisory board if I ever have a chance to take over the world. Or at least some of the more underdeveloped parts of Central America. :P

                              Quoth Magpie View Post
                              Wait, you're security at a bar and you don't have a scanner? Is it just that your scammers are underachievers?
                              Unfortunately. They never get any craftier than 'I didn't renew it because I've got warrants.' That's a whole other rant right there, though, but that's okay...
                              My other car is a Mackinaw.

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