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This comes from my last job, at a hotel front desk. Here in the Deep South, all hotels are booked up on Game Day. This is because Game Day is not just a major source of our income, it is nearly a religious festival. Everybody wears the Colors, everybody decorates their car with a flag, decal magnets, or both. Game Days are the biggest days of the year and we plan for this with extra staff, special events, etc. So do all the other hotels. We have special meeting at the Chamber of Commerce planning how we will deal with the huge influx of people on Game Day. They maintain a special “hotline” phone number so we can try to find a hotel room – anywhere – so we can pack as many people into this town as possible.
So a few days before Game Day, we usually get calls from people wishing to confirm their reservations. This isn't really necessarry, as in most instances WE called THEM at the start of the season and told them the game dates and asked if they wanted to pay in full in advance to guarantee the same rooms they had last year. They don't say no. Our best rooms are passed down in inheritances and wills, e.g. “Jeb passed away in June, but he said that since I was his brother I could have the suite this year.”
Unfortunately, the denouement of this story is predicated on the fact that there are towns elsewhere that are spelled and pronounced exactly the same as this one. There is one in Canada and there are two here in Dubya's Jesusland. This is not my fault. I have sent numerous letters to the authorities there encouraging them, for the sake of efficiency, to change their names. Any guesses as to the success of this campaign?
So here is a fictionalized “transcript” of the call from these poor souls:
Sm: This is Salesmonkey at Da Hotel, how can I help you?
C: I need to confirm a prepaid online reservation through *rbitz, my reservation number is ****-******.
Sm: (Inner thoughts: Yay. SM loves people thoughtful enough to use such info.) Okay, to confirm your res # is ****-*****. Please wait while I search the computer for your record.
Sm: Naughty computer has no record of this transaction. Please wait while I search under your name.
Sm: I can't find any records under your name. Perhaps your phone number or your zip code?
Sm: I'm terribly embarrassed, but I'm still coming up with nothing. I strongly suggest you contact *rbitz and have them double-check all your reservation details. At the moment I am booked up and can't accommodate your needs.
Call next day:
C: I called *rbitz and they confirmed my reservation. They called and talked to Cathy at the front desk and she said everything was fine.
Sm: We don't have an employee named Cathy. There is something very wrong here. Please contact *rbitz and make sure that your reservation is at the right hotel. I cannot be responsible otherwise because we are all booked up for Game Day.
Well, Game Day rolls around with all its craziness. I am in the process of kicking a guy out because his credit card is bogus when the people show up.
C: Wow, traffic sure is bad. I was wondering, could we check in early so we can make it to the game in time?
Sm: Hi, I'm Salesmonkey and we spoke earlier. As I said, we have no record of your reservation. Why didn't you clear this up?
C: Excuses, etc.
Sm: Hold on a moment while I call Da Hotel elsewhere in Jesusland.
Sm: *rbitz made your reservation at Da Hotel in (other town with same name). I'm sorry but we're all booked up for Game Day but if you'll wait I may have a room coming open.
They were not patient, however. Stormed out cursing. I ended up renting the deadbeat's room to another guest who was patient enough to wait.
So a few days before Game Day, we usually get calls from people wishing to confirm their reservations. This isn't really necessarry, as in most instances WE called THEM at the start of the season and told them the game dates and asked if they wanted to pay in full in advance to guarantee the same rooms they had last year. They don't say no. Our best rooms are passed down in inheritances and wills, e.g. “Jeb passed away in June, but he said that since I was his brother I could have the suite this year.”
Unfortunately, the denouement of this story is predicated on the fact that there are towns elsewhere that are spelled and pronounced exactly the same as this one. There is one in Canada and there are two here in Dubya's Jesusland. This is not my fault. I have sent numerous letters to the authorities there encouraging them, for the sake of efficiency, to change their names. Any guesses as to the success of this campaign?
So here is a fictionalized “transcript” of the call from these poor souls:
Sm: This is Salesmonkey at Da Hotel, how can I help you?
C: I need to confirm a prepaid online reservation through *rbitz, my reservation number is ****-******.
Sm: (Inner thoughts: Yay. SM loves people thoughtful enough to use such info.) Okay, to confirm your res # is ****-*****. Please wait while I search the computer for your record.
Sm: Naughty computer has no record of this transaction. Please wait while I search under your name.
Sm: I can't find any records under your name. Perhaps your phone number or your zip code?
Sm: I'm terribly embarrassed, but I'm still coming up with nothing. I strongly suggest you contact *rbitz and have them double-check all your reservation details. At the moment I am booked up and can't accommodate your needs.
Call next day:
C: I called *rbitz and they confirmed my reservation. They called and talked to Cathy at the front desk and she said everything was fine.
Sm: We don't have an employee named Cathy. There is something very wrong here. Please contact *rbitz and make sure that your reservation is at the right hotel. I cannot be responsible otherwise because we are all booked up for Game Day.
Well, Game Day rolls around with all its craziness. I am in the process of kicking a guy out because his credit card is bogus when the people show up.
C: Wow, traffic sure is bad. I was wondering, could we check in early so we can make it to the game in time?
Sm: Hi, I'm Salesmonkey and we spoke earlier. As I said, we have no record of your reservation. Why didn't you clear this up?
C: Excuses, etc.
Sm: Hold on a moment while I call Da Hotel elsewhere in Jesusland.
Sm: *rbitz made your reservation at Da Hotel in (other town with same name). I'm sorry but we're all booked up for Game Day but if you'll wait I may have a room coming open.
They were not patient, however. Stormed out cursing. I ended up renting the deadbeat's room to another guest who was patient enough to wait.
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