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  • #1

    Short but funny

    I do have a semi-eye rolling story.

    I was standing there with my CW when this lady started talking to us from the Atm machine.

    SL: Stupid lady: Why didn't a receipt come out??

    CW: Did you hit yes?

    SL: No. But why won't it give me one?



    CW: Well... if you hit no the machine isn't going to give you one.

    SL: But why not? I wanted one.

    CW: ..... Because you hit no. The machine does when you choose. Next time be sure to hit, yes okay?

    Oh my god. Seriously if you hit "no" the machine isn't going to "think" that you actually meant yes. We laughed for a bit when she walked away but I think she looked back and saw us laughing. Oh well.

    ~~~
    This lady walked up to my window with two beers. Both for her. I guess the cocktail waitress forgot about her, felt bad and just brought two.

    L: lady.

    L: How strict are the cops out here?

    Me: ....

    L: I mean, if I drink these two beers and drive to blank casino willl I be okay?

    Me: As long as you don't swerve you should be okay.

    I said that as a joke.

    Me: But seriously though, you may want to take a taxi if you have any doubts about how you may feel. You can always come back for your car later.

    I don't know how drunk people are after a few drinks but there was no way I was going to let her think its okay to drive if she got herself drunk or felt the need to ask that question.
    Tags: None
  • #2
    Quoth Anakah View Post
    CW: ..... Because you hit no. The machine does when you choose. Next time be sure to hit, yes okay?

    Oh my god. Seriously if you hit "no" the machine isn't going to "think" that you actually meant yes.
    Great, now the employees AND the machines are expected to possess psychic powers? This does not bode well.

    Quoth Anakah View Post
    L: I mean, if I drink these two beers and drive to blank casino will I be okay?
    I would have told her that I didn't think she should drive anywhere after drinking any alcohol, ever. Regardless of my personal opinions, as an employee, I could get in serious trouble if she even thought she could claim that I told her it was okay.

    But what I want to know is this: Why is it always two beers? Seriously. All those police videos I've seen (like on "COPS") in which someone's pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving, I'd guess about 90% of them say they've had two beers.
    I suspect that... inside every adult (sometimes not very far inside) is a bratty kid who wants everything his own way.
    - Bill Watterson
    My co-workers: They're there when they need me.
    - IPF

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    • #3
      Quoth HawaiianShirts View Post
      But what I want to know is this: Why is it always two beers? Seriously. All those police videos I've seen (like on "COPS") in which someone's pulled over on suspicion of drunk driving, I'd guess about 90% of them say they've had two beers.
      One thing I learned from my short time in EMS--it's ALWAYS two beers. Nevermind you're so drunk you can't stand up, it was only two drinks.

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      • #4
        Because two beers is all they can remember drinking?

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        • #5
          Quoth bankworking View Post
          Because two beers is all they can remember drinking?
          When I worked ER in Delaware, we made jokes about "Sussex County Beers. Most people call them kegs."
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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          • #6
            "Mr. Babbage, if you put wrong numbers into the machine, will the right answers come out?" - a 19th-century Member of Parliament.

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            • #7
              ATM's, like everything else, are basically computers, right? Well, computers don't do what you want them to do. They do what you tell them to do.

              Re: two beers. Oh yeah, you see that on "Cops" every week! "Two beers, officer!" There was one guy who claimed he'd been drinking water all day...after he'd driven into several parked cars and a tree (his eyes were totally glazed over)....I guess what he didn't say was the water was brewed with malted barley and hops.
              When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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              • #8
                Because they only remember two beers, the first and the last... all the others just don't count, right?
                ~LSTYD~
                Quote: Dalesys:
                you may want to take a census of your brain squirrels... maybe one escaped?

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                • #9
                  Of course not. I almost wish someone would say one beer. It'd be better than hearing two from every single drunk driver on my cop-show-of-the-week.
                  My Guide to Oblivion

                  "I resent the implication that I've gone mad, Sprocket."

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                  • #10
                    And on the judge shows I love watching where a dumb bunny got drunk and ruined some plaintiff's car.

                    The last one I saw was Judge Joe Brown.

                    "How many beers did you have, young man?"

                    "Two, your honor."

                    "Um hmm." The Judge and the bailiff shared this rather strange look, like disgusted amusement.

                    "It's always two beers, isn't it," the bailiff asked?

                    "That's what they always say," the Judge told her.
                    Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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                    • #11
                      I guess because they figure that is a 'reasonable' amount to have had.

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                      • #12
                        If I were a drinker, I think I would prefer "Offisher, *I* am sherfectly pober"
                        "For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
                        "The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
                        "Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
                        "There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
                        "Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
                        "Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
                        Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
                        "Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - me

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                        • #13
                          I personally like. "Oscifer I am not as think as you drunk I am."
                          Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth EricKei View Post
                            If I were a drinker, I think I would prefer "Offisher, *I* am sherfectly pober"
                            If you can get that out without accidentally saying something correctly you probably are.

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                            • #15
                              "Osciffer, I'm okay to drive. I'm as jober as a sudge!"
                              PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

                              There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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