'Old English' man (Long!)

[MergedLoki]

well for the cheap booze (well cheap beer anyways)

You gotta remember, it's a 40 of beer. the 40's of malt liquor are usually 7% or higher (compared with most beers 4 - 5% alcohol amount).

and, from bitter college experience when i COULD NOT afford anything else/decent quality booze (lol), when drinking a 40 (or 40's) you want to drink them FAST so you can get smashed and not taste the awful poison you are pouring into your body :P

[chainedbarista]

so sayeth whiskey:

Irritation does not dissuade drunks. Trust me on this note.

sadly, nothing short of actually knocking them out dissuades them, and not for long.

if he's drinking that crap multiple times per day, he won't be around for much longer; his liver is probably harder than a rock.

[42_42_42]

Ok, I'm a major dork, but I have to admit I was disappointed as I was thinking that for some strange reason the SC was speaking Old English. I mean, it would be confusing as hell, but damned cool at the same time. I *did* say I was a major dork.

[TheMike]

this guy sounds quite familiar, in the abstract.

can' wait to see pt 2

[Darkforge]

It sounds like this will go south fast in part 2, I just hope you can write the second part soon!

*grabs popcorn and takes a seat*

[cinema guy]

Ok, I'm a major dork, but I have to admit I was disappointed as I was thinking that for some strange reason the SC was speaking Old English.

Something like this:

Old English Man: "Prithee sir, where art thine Old English."

OP: " 'Tis here, sir. But caution you, I must, for drink sir, is a great provoker of three things."

OEM: "What thre things does drink proke, especially?"

OP: "Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and
urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes;
it provokes the desire, but it takes
away the performance: therefore, much drink
may be said to be an equivocator with lechery:
it makes him, and it mars him; it sets
him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him,
and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and
not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him
in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.
"

[chainedbarista]

*applauds cinema guy*

ooh, bravo; good show!

[42_42_42]

Something like this:

Old English Man: "Prithee sir...
"

Hate to break it to ya, especially since you went to all that effort and everything, but that's (Early) Modern English not Old English.

þes sy ælde englisc gesegenum fram ymbutan ælemidde prican æt twelftaum ældum hit sy sum westswæ ágenspræc ond lóclóca nú englisc maðelere swá sum ælfolc ágenspræc

This is Old English--spoken from about middle 5th to 12th centuries, it is a West Germanic language and appears to the Modern English speaker as a foreign tongue.

[Sapphire Silk]

Something like this:

Old English Man: "Prithee sir, where art thine Old English."

OP: " 'Tis here, sir. But caution you, I must, for drink sir, is a great provoker of three things."

OEM: "What thre things does drink proke, especially?"

<awesome poem snipped for brevity>.
"

Worthy of the Bard himself!

[DGoddessChardonnay]

This is the potent potable in question:



If he's drinking that rotgut shit all the time, no wonder his leg is bad.

Just the smell of it alone is enough to knock out a horse. Try smelling that on a floor after a bottle of it has been dropped and broke all over the place.

I've lost count of how many cases over the years of that crap I've checked in through the back door . . . we get 2 cases of it on each truck, and we get 2 deliveries a week from our local Miller distributor.

All I can say is not only is it a cheap buzz, but also popular with shoplifters.

[Andara Bledin]

All I can say is not only is it a cheap buzz, but also popular with shoplifters.

You would think that if they weren't actually paying for it, they'd steal something a bit better.

^-.-^

[cinema guy]

Worthy of the Bard himself!

Interestingly, that passage was omitted from our school copies of Macbeth when we studied it. Obviously, the publishers didn't want 14-year olds learning about the evils of drink.

[Tsiyeria]

OP: "Marry, sir, nose-painting, sleep, and
urine. Lechery, sir, it provokes, and unprovokes;
it provokes the desire, but it takes
away the performance: therefore, much drink
may be said to be an equivocator with lechery:
it makes him, and it mars him; it sets
him on, and it takes him off; it persuades him,
and disheartens him; makes him stand to, and
not stand to; in conclusion, equivocates him
in a sleep, and, giving him the lie, leaves him.
"

That smacks of Shakespeare...I really want to say either Romeo & Juliet or Much Ado About Nothing. Really leaning towards Much Ado.

þes sy ælde englisc gesegenum fram ymbutan ælemidde prican æt twelftaum ældum hit sy sum westswæ ágenspræc ond lóclóca nú englisc maðelere swá sum ælfolc ágenspræc

I...I...I find you so attractive right now...

I really can't wait to hear part two. Hope it didn't go TOO badly.

[DGoddessChardonnay]

You would think that if they weren't actually paying for it, they'd steal something a bit better.

^-.-^

With some shoplifters, there's no accounting for taste.

[cinema guy]

That smacks of Shakespeare...I really want to say either Romeo & Juliet or Much Ado About Nothing. Really leaning towards Much Ado.

It is Macbeth. Act2 scene 3.