Tweet
It's been two weeks since I got my seasonal job. I love it. I have to say, it's one of the few jobs I've had where I go in with a smile and come out with one still on. Best of all, I get to play. Doesn't get much better than that.
Except for stories, of course.
I work at, hmm...let's called it uBash, ok?
Warp Time For Me!
I had a lady yesterday come up with a truck, nah, caboose-load of Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. A costume, treat pail, and a bunch of themed party stuff. She's got a boy no less than two in the cart. I ring her stuff up and she hands me a coupon that doesn't start to work until the 29th. Yesterday was the 24th. I get ready to tell her that I can't take this just yet, and she goes "Well, I was hoping if I made a big enough fuss about it you would."
Okay, strike one. You don't tell the cashier you plan on being an SC. By default that means I'll be less inclined to actually help you.
I tell her that because it says it starts on the 29th the computer won't even recognize it yet. She responds with "I'm buying them for my son. You wouldn't ruin a two year old's birthday, would you?"
Strike two. I'm a Nobody, no heart. Playing the sympathy card does not work with me. It's not very effective...
Nonetheless, I page a coworker of higher rank to see if anything can be done, knowing full well nothing could be done. Coworker doesn't think he can do it, so he pages D, the manager, who bluntly says "no". I relay this info, and customer is less than thrilled that we can't bend time and space for her. She has me void everything off, then after 5 minutes of waffling decides to just get the costume and treat pail, saying her son would tear her apart if she didn't bring anything back to the car with her, and how would we sleep with that on our heads tonight? (rather well, actually)
The finishing touch? We've been giving out $10 off $50 or more coupons on our receipts. She swelled up like a bullfrog. Awesome.
Cool Whip
Okay. I get it. We have some awesome whips for cowboy/cowgirl costumes. But please don't whip each other with them. If you miss your friend/spouse/fuckbuddy/whatever, and it hits a kid, I'm gonna know about it. Knock it off.
Manager A is Awesome
I'm gonna nickname my manager AA, because he really is Awesome A. How awesome? At closing yesterday people were yanking on the locked door and making faces at him, so he made them right back at them. Then, when he got on the intercom to announce we were closing, he added "If any guests are still in the store when the doors lock, they will be fed to our ravenous Bash Brains. They're due for their weekly feeding, and I'm sure as hell not going this week."
Manager A is Easily Amused
I like to joke at work. My jokes are pretty harmless, and funny. And it gets people in a good mood, which is great during a rush. I guess I never realized how funny they were, or maybe I'm not giving them enough credit.
Example the first: AA and I are ringing out customers together while my backup cashier is guarding the dressing shack so no one shoplifts. We're having a bit of a rush. I hand a customer their receipt, which is quite long, and say "Here's your free wallpaper". Customer gets a good chuckle from it, but AA bursts out laughing. He asks where I got that from, and I tell him working in a grocery store, you see plenty of "free wallpaper" with $250+ orders.
Later, I'm cleaning up the area around Halloween. We have those large feather boas. I hate them. They shed like crazy. One of them is this loud hot pink color, and half of it's fallen off already. I commented that it looked like a flamingo exploded, and once again AA's practically on the floor laughing.
So, either I'm funnier then I think I am, or he's just that easily amused. I dunno.
And one last one:
5 P's, Lady
You. Yes you. The woman who held up my line for 10 minutes looking for the debit card you dropped by itself into your Bag of Infinite Holding, who turned down using the 5 other forms of payment you pushed out of the way searching for said card, and earned me several dagger glares because you tied up my register after I had already rung and totaled your $2 worth of candy: I loathe you now. Tape your debit card to your forehead next time, so this doesn't happen again. Or staple it. Whichever. Just do it.
Except for stories, of course.
I work at, hmm...let's called it uBash, ok?
Warp Time For Me!
I had a lady yesterday come up with a truck, nah, caboose-load of Thomas the Tank Engine stuff. A costume, treat pail, and a bunch of themed party stuff. She's got a boy no less than two in the cart. I ring her stuff up and she hands me a coupon that doesn't start to work until the 29th. Yesterday was the 24th. I get ready to tell her that I can't take this just yet, and she goes "Well, I was hoping if I made a big enough fuss about it you would."
Okay, strike one. You don't tell the cashier you plan on being an SC. By default that means I'll be less inclined to actually help you.
I tell her that because it says it starts on the 29th the computer won't even recognize it yet. She responds with "I'm buying them for my son. You wouldn't ruin a two year old's birthday, would you?"
Strike two. I'm a Nobody, no heart. Playing the sympathy card does not work with me. It's not very effective...
Nonetheless, I page a coworker of higher rank to see if anything can be done, knowing full well nothing could be done. Coworker doesn't think he can do it, so he pages D, the manager, who bluntly says "no". I relay this info, and customer is less than thrilled that we can't bend time and space for her. She has me void everything off, then after 5 minutes of waffling decides to just get the costume and treat pail, saying her son would tear her apart if she didn't bring anything back to the car with her, and how would we sleep with that on our heads tonight? (rather well, actually)
The finishing touch? We've been giving out $10 off $50 or more coupons on our receipts. She swelled up like a bullfrog. Awesome.
Cool Whip
Okay. I get it. We have some awesome whips for cowboy/cowgirl costumes. But please don't whip each other with them. If you miss your friend/spouse/fuckbuddy/whatever, and it hits a kid, I'm gonna know about it. Knock it off.
Manager A is Awesome
I'm gonna nickname my manager AA, because he really is Awesome A. How awesome? At closing yesterday people were yanking on the locked door and making faces at him, so he made them right back at them. Then, when he got on the intercom to announce we were closing, he added "If any guests are still in the store when the doors lock, they will be fed to our ravenous Bash Brains. They're due for their weekly feeding, and I'm sure as hell not going this week."
Manager A is Easily Amused
I like to joke at work. My jokes are pretty harmless, and funny. And it gets people in a good mood, which is great during a rush. I guess I never realized how funny they were, or maybe I'm not giving them enough credit.
Example the first: AA and I are ringing out customers together while my backup cashier is guarding the dressing shack so no one shoplifts. We're having a bit of a rush. I hand a customer their receipt, which is quite long, and say "Here's your free wallpaper". Customer gets a good chuckle from it, but AA bursts out laughing. He asks where I got that from, and I tell him working in a grocery store, you see plenty of "free wallpaper" with $250+ orders.
Later, I'm cleaning up the area around Halloween. We have those large feather boas. I hate them. They shed like crazy. One of them is this loud hot pink color, and half of it's fallen off already. I commented that it looked like a flamingo exploded, and once again AA's practically on the floor laughing.
So, either I'm funnier then I think I am, or he's just that easily amused. I dunno.
And one last one:
5 P's, Lady
You. Yes you. The woman who held up my line for 10 minutes looking for the debit card you dropped by itself into your Bag of Infinite Holding, who turned down using the 5 other forms of payment you pushed out of the way searching for said card, and earned me several dagger glares because you tied up my register after I had already rung and totaled your $2 worth of candy: I loathe you now. Tape your debit card to your forehead next time, so this doesn't happen again. Or staple it. Whichever. Just do it.
Comment