Your an Idiot, its my fault I'm sorry!... actually I don't care

[underemployeed]

I really need a new job before I use the title phrase....

Our pumps are high tech pieces of equipment they have a display that prompts you with EXACTLY what you need to do, MAYBE if you read the pump before putting your card in the pump, you would see it asks if you want to use a rewards card. ALSO, it is not my fault you put your credit card in and then complained it wasn't working so you drove to next pump and now for some security reason your card locks out and you need to come inside.

Now I can sympathize with people needing to enter ZIP CODES or driver IDs as our number keypads are a joke, that isn't your fault but no knowing how to use your danm credit card on a weekly basis when NO information needs to be entered and you just need to follow these steps

Insert Rewards Card
Insert Credit Card
LIFT HANDLE
PRESS the Grade you want
Put the nozzle in your car
.... Don't light your $#%^#$^ cigarette while you pump your gas.

So to all my "valued" customers, I'm sorry its my fault your fucking stupid.

Those who I do not fault, younger teens who were just turned lose into the world, old people who don't know shit about credit cards, but I HATE 30-50year olds who should know how to operate a danm gas pump..... if not SURRENDER your license

[Whiskey]

.... Don't light your $#%^#$^ cigarette while you pump your gas.

I've literally yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" at someone doing this at a gas station.

Seriously. WHAT THE HELL. We're sitting on hundreds of gallons, if not more, of EXPLOSIVE FUEL. FUMES SPARK. WE ALL DIE. SO DOES THE NEXT THREE BLOCK RADIUS

[Mytical]

It's the 'but the fuel is not flammable' bit. Oh and the fumes? Who cares about them right? I don't care how many shows you see where they throw the cig into the fuel and it goes out..the FUMES are STILL ignitable.

[underemployeed]

It's the 'but the fuel is not flammable' bit. Oh and the fumes? Who cares about them right? I don't care how many shows you see where they throw the cig into the fuel and it goes out..the FUMES are STILL ignitable.

This is true you need perfect conditions to get the end of the cigarette to somehow magically combust the fumes, and for the most part isn't a problem since an open flame is needed..... of course, with this stupidity, most people don't realize most people use a LIGHTER WITH AN OPEN FLAME.

Also there is a thing called the lower explosive limit, meaning you actually need a certain amount of fumes present before it would even be possible to get an explosion... I really don't want to be the one around when all the stars align and conditions are perfect for you to meat darwin because yes, even though the odds are 1 in 300 million.... people still win the lottery on those odds and while there are many losers you don't want to be the one that wins and blows the place up

[godaistudios]

Those who I do not fault, younger teens who were just turned lose into the world, old people who don't know shit about credit cards, but I HATE 30-50year olds who should know how to operate a danm gas pump..... if not SURRENDER your license

In all fairness, people from New Jersey and Oregon - it's against the law, so maybe somebody visiting with a rental car might otherwise be a tad confused.

Just sayin'.

Of course that doesn't excuse the majority of other people who feel that it's just "too hard" to be asked to read something and follow instructions.

[Sleepwalker]

Those statistics are including people who follow the damn rules. If you included only people who smoked around gasoline sources, all of a sudden the rate of OMG FIRE would go waaaaay up...

[Sapphire Silk]

In all fairness, people from New Jersey and Oregon - it's against the law, so maybe somebody visiting with a rental car might otherwise be a tad confused.

Just sayin'.

Of course that doesn't excuse the majority of other people who feel that it's just "too hard" to be asked to read something and follow instructions.

Agree. Met a woman from New Jersey a few weeks ago, who'd just moved down here and didn't know how to operate the gas pump because it is illegal there. I made the mistake of showing her how.

It was a mistake, because she noticed my hospice name tag (I was doing visits that day instead of triage) and started going on and on about how she was a CNA and she wanted to find a job blah blah blah. I told her to go to the DHS website and download the procedure from them, or call directly, but she wouldn't shut up about asking me what the requirements are, etc etc.

I kept explaining, lady I'm a nurse not a CNA. Different regulatory agency, different requirements. Since I was on the job, I'm trying to be polite and back out of the conversation, but finally had to flee back to my car and just make my escape . . . a line was forming behind this lady.

[TonyDonuts]

I've literally yelled "WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU" at someone doing this at a gas station.

Seriously. WHAT THE HELL. We're sitting on hundreds of gallons, if not more, of EXPLOSIVE FUEL. FUMES SPARK. WE ALL DIE. SO DOES THE NEXT THREE BLOCK RADIUS

The Voice of God speakers are handy for that.

Bonus points if it's the guy who wants to put gas into a plastic, or glass, milk jug while lighting his Pall Mall Light.

Because if you're gonna be stupid, why not go for the big banana? Right?

OH! And there was the time we were getting a fuel delivery. Eight thousand, five hundred gallons of 87 Octane goodness. Buddy decided he wanted to ask the driver a question, "Why is gas so expensive? HUH?", and he was lighting a cigarette as he walked over.

Driver survey the situation:

Open Fuel Tanks: Check.

Thousands of Gallons of Fuel Being Pumped into Them: Check.

Idiot with Open Flame: Check.

Failed Attempt to Keep the Guy Away: Check.

The driver told the guy, keep that cigarette away. Buddy was having none of it. Didn't seem to see the problem with lighter and gas.

So the driver hosed him down with his fire extinguisher.

Buddy tried filing a complaint with the home office, but the customer service manager a) laughed and b) called him an idiot so that was that.

[XCashier]

The driver told the guy, keep that cigarette away. Buddy was having none of it. Didn't seem to see the problem with lighter and gas.

So the driver hosed him down with his fire extinguisher.

Buddy tried filing a complaint with the home office, but the customer service manager a) laughed and b) called him an idiot so that was that.

I would have loved to have seen that! (On video, of course, I wouldn't want to have been anywhere near Smoky and the open pumps!)

Some people deserve to Darwin Award themselves out of the gene pool; unfortunately in cases like this, they can take out dozens of innocent people as well.

[BlaqueKatt]

they can take out dozens of innocent people as well.

meh-guilt and innocence are merely a matter of perception and timing

why yes, yes I am that jaded....why do you ask?

[Lachrymose]

meh-guilt and innocence are merely a matter of perception and timing

why yes, yes I am that jaded....why do you ask?

Bwahaha...you sound like me.

Off topic version of one of my jaded thoughts:

Someone else: "It's Friday, omg, yay!"
Me: "That just means Monday's right around the corner."
*Debbie Downer trombone sounds*

[bhskittykatt]

In all fairness, people from New Jersey and Oregon - it's against the law, so maybe somebody visiting with a rental car might otherwise be a tad confused.

Love it when Hubby (who is from Oregon) first tried to pump his own gas. "I DID used to live in California, I KNOW how to pump my own gas!!!" he exclaimed. He ended up having me talk him through the whole procedure. (He left California when he was just 13 or14).

Those who I do not fault, younger teens who were just turned lose into the world.

I can't thank the patient clerk enough who helped me the first time I pumped my own gas...yeah, I'd seen my parents do it, but I'd never paid attention.

[Andara Bledin]

Jeff Dunham has a bit at the beginning of his Christmas Special about his wife video taping the first time his daughter had to put gas in her car. The best bits are when he mentions that the picture is shaking... 'cause his wife is laughing.

Now, I knew how to put gas in the car from a very early age, long before I could legally drive, due to the fact that if I or my brother was in the car, then one of us was pumping the gas.

^-.-^

[Kristev]

Where is the Firestarter when you need her?

[Merriweather]

Love it when Hubby (who is from Oregon) first tried to pump his own gas. "I DID used to live in California, I KNOW how to pump my own gas!!!" he exclaimed. He ended up having me talk him through the whole procedure. (He left California when he was just 13 or14).



I can't thank the patient clerk enough who helped me the first time I pumped my own gas...yeah, I'd seen my parents do it, but I'd never paid attention.

I can remember back when there were still full-service stations, lots of self-serves had signs up that they would pump the gas for ladies. I rarely pumped my own gas. Sure it was sexist, but lots of things were sexist back then, so I figured, why not take advantage of one of the few things that was sexist but actually to my advantage