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Irv drinks because you cry

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  • Irv drinks because you cry

    Awright, fess up, which one of you people sent all the crazies my way so I'd hafta post about them so you could read all about it?

    Today started out like a normal Monday. I make the mistake of venturing out of furniture when some chick comes up to me and is all "I NEED HELP I CAN'T FIND NOBODY AND NOBODY'S AROUND WILL YOU HELP ME?"

    Okay, fine, it's what I do, and I ask her what she needs. She tells me she has a Krups coffee maker, and she needs filters for the thing, and as we're walking over to the coffeemaker aisle she further elaborates that she's been all around the store looking for somebody and it's her birthday today and she's really frustrated *sniffle sniffle* and she just wants to go home *SOB *....

    and she starts crying. Awesome. What do I say to this emotional spirit, and where the hell's the hidden camera? Turns out we probably don't have filters for Krups coffeemakers; just for the very basic line of coffeemakers we sell, and I'm not familiar with the Krups brand of coffeemakers anyway. So I show her what we have and ask her if the filters look like the ones we have.

    *sniffle sob* "I don't know!" Then how do you even make coffee on this thing anyway?

    Later on I saw her head up to the checkouts with a box of coffee filters, still sniveling and snuffling.

    So I made somebody cry today. Cool.

    BONUS YAY?

    I return to furniture to continue counting pull tags..."Customer service to the electric razors please!"

    Because I'm the only one on the floor due to the other floor person being on a break, I go over to the electric razors and find some old woman with an old electric razor in her hand. "Can you get the head on for me?"

    While I try (against my better judgement) to snap the dislodged cutting head back onto the razor, she explains that the razor belongs to some old fart in a nursing home and if I can get the head back on I'll have saved her the cost of buying replacement heads.

    Then she tries to "help" me and the cutting head assembly comes off and OLD MAN HAIR AND SKIN ALL OVER MY HANDS AND ARMS. AAAAAAGGGGHHHH UNCLEAN UNCLEAN.

    I failed in snapping the cutting head back onto the razor and she snatched it back from me, saying she'd take the razor to a different store and see if they could fix it. I like her thinking, but she should've thought of that first.

    At least I get tomorrow off. Then I'm really in for it the rest of the week.
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    OK, yeah, Krups coffee girl, it wasn't you, it was her....My guess: totally icky time of the month plus probably hit a milestone on the birthday.

    Then again, if i couldn't make my coffee maker work, I might cry too!
    When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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    • #3
      Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
      So I made somebody cry today. Cool.
      Ah shucks, you're just getting in the "How many Christmases will I be ruining this year?" mood.
      A lion however, will only devour your corpse, whereas an SC is not sated until they have destroyed your soul. (Quote per infinitemonkies)

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      • #4
        That's why I like the french press. No moving parts!
        "If anyone wants this old box containing the broken bits of my former faith in humanity, I'll take your best offer now. You may be able to salvage a few of em' for parts..... " - Quote by Argabarga

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        • #5
          Quoth bainsidhe View Post
          Ah shucks, you're just getting in the "How many Christmases will I be ruining this year?" mood.
          Y'know, I think there should be an official 'Most Christmases Ruined' competition. A thread where everyone post their I ruined Christmas! stories. The one with most wins bragging rights and E-cookies!

          Irv should be a shoe-in!
          "Honestly officer, he asked for a shot and I gave him one. Why do you need the handcuffs?" - MannersMakethMan

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          • #6
            Quoth LillFilly View Post
            That's why I like the french press. No moving parts!
            I really like the chemex my mom has, I am thinking of stealing it from her =) [she has a morning routine where my brother gets her baby mr coffee 4 cup set up so all she has to do is plug it in, and her bowl of cereal measured out and sitting next to the refrigerator, and her morning pills sitting by her chair so all she has to do in the morning is come down, plug in the coffee maker, pour milk on the cereal and sit down and her meds are right there. So far she is remembering to do this every morning]
            EVE Online: 99% of the time you sit around waiting for something to happen, but that 1% of action is what hooks people like crack, you don't get interviewed by the BBC for a WoW raid.

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            • #7
              Quoth bainsidhe View Post
              Ah shucks, you're just getting in the "How many Christmases will I be ruining this year?" mood.
              Quoth KMMCurly View Post
              Y'know, I think there should be an official 'Most Christmases Ruined' competition. A thread where everyone post their I ruined Christmas! stories. The one with most wins bragging rights and E-cookies!

              Irv should be a shoe-in!
              I'm just rounding into mid-December form here.
              Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

              "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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              • #8
                Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                Then she tries to "help" me and the cutting head assembly comes off and OLD MAN HAIR AND SKIN ALL OVER MY HANDS AND ARMS. AAAAAAGGGGHHHH UNCLEAN UNCLEAN.

                I failed in snapping the cutting head back onto the razor and she snatched it back from me, saying she'd take the razor to a different store and see if they could fix it.
                1. GROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS.

                2. She wants you to fix it for FREE so she doesn't have to spend any money on a new one. Umhm. Good. Go to another store. They all can't wait for you to use up their employees' time mooching for a free service so you can avoid actually buying anything.

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                • #9
                  Quoth LillFilly View Post
                  That's why I like the french press. No moving parts!
                  And, of course, you get french press coffee out of the deal.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I'd love to see some people's Christmas get ruined. My family certainly ruins enough of mine.

                    But then again, I'm still trying to correct the Christmas carols. I came up with "Santa Jaws is coming to town" rather easily, but I just can't quite sort through "'Tis the season for bankruptcy . . ."
                    Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

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                    • #11
                      i have a 5-cup coffee maker... its needs small circular filters (#4 i think), not brand-specific (i have melita now, but they were the only ones i could find at the time). It's easy to work mine... put in filter, put in grounds for desired strength, fill pot to slightly above wanted cup amount, pour into resevoir, close top, put pot under filter, turn on.

                      my coffee maker has two settings: on and off

                      "FUCK NO I DON'T WANT YOUR FREAKY ALIEN MOTHERSHIP ORANGES. " - Cookiesaur
                      ~~

                      Munkie's NaNo WC: 9648

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                      • #12
                        Quoth LillFilly View Post
                        That's why I like the french press. No moving parts!
                        I use my electric coffee maker in the morning, can't get 2 big mugs each for DH and I out of a french press. I do use that for smaller amounts, but I'd use it a lot more if someone would come up with an easy way to clean the grounds out of the darn thing. Scraping wet grounds of wet glass is a real pain, IMO.

                        Madness takes it's toll....
                        Please have exact change ready.

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          "Can you get the head on for me?"
                          So she wanted you to get her some medicine of questionable effectiveness? Apply directly to the forehead. Apply directly to the forehead. Apply directly to the forehead.
                          To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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