Ahh, Monday...

[cybiko123]

For a Monday, generally not too bad. There were a few memorable idiots, though.


Bilingual Bitchiness

Me: Thanks for calling [us], this is cybiko123. How can I help you?
SC: Hola? Hablas español?
Me: [repeats opening spiel in Spanish]
SC: HEY! Just because I'm Mexican doesn't mean I don't speak English! *under her breath* Racist bitch...
Me: You asked me if I spoke Spanish, so I replied in Spanish.
SC: Don't talk to me that way! *click*
Me:


The Tubes Can Only Handle so Much

Me: [opening spiel]
SC: Hi, I'm trying to make a payment but your site keeps saying it doesn't understand the card number.
Me: Alright, let's see what we can find out.
[snip]
Me: OK, and what's your card number?
SC: [recites a string of numbers and letters]
Me: ...sir? What kind of card is this?
SC: It's a $20.
Me: A $20?
SC: Yeah, a $20.
Me: Like a prepaid card?
SC: No...maybe I should try singles instead?
Me: *lightbulb* Are you trying to pay with cash on our website?
SC: Yeah...why?
Me: That's not gonna work.
SC: WHY THE HELL NOT?!
Me: ...because we can't take cash electronically. It just isn't possible.
SC: But WHY?
Me: It won't fit through the tubes.
SC: ...oh. Well, it's still YOUR fault! *click*


You have the wrong number. I promise!

Me: [you know the drill]
SC: Hi yeah, I want a double cheeseburger plain and a medium Coke.
Me: Sorry, you have the wrong number. This is [our company].
SC: No! This is [fast food place].
Me: No...I can assure you, it's [our company]. Also, I'm pretty sure [fast food place] doesn't take phone orders.
SC: You're just saying that because I'm Chinese!
Me: The race card again? Really? No, I'm saying that because the only food around here is my bag of chips. This is a call center.
SC: Well **** you then! *click*

Keep in mind: We have a toll-free number. With several phone menus. Neither of which tipped off this idiot that maybe, just maybe, they had the wrong number. Sometimes I wonder if people actually listen or just hit random buttons until they get a person...

[superhotelworker]

Wow.. I.. well the wrong number thing I get at my work, but we are 2 digits off a doctors office..
toll free.. how the HELL... *brain blue screens*

And the race card.. over the phone? Dude, these aren't CAM CALLS. I can't tell what or who you are, so how am I being racist?! < ABout what you wish ya could say huh?

*hugs for your cruddy phone calls*

[Mytical]

Yeah. I just love the 'Your a racist' phone calls. I guess it is that 'you have to be a psychic' thing. You can tell their race by using your awesome mental powers you should possess.

[Food Lady]

Was the dude with the $20 bill calling from Nunavet?? Tell Gravekeeper to keep his SCs to himself.

[Marmalady]

Thanks for calling [us], this is cybiko123. How can I help you?
SC: Hola? Hablas español?
Me: [repeats opening spiel in Spanish]
SC: HEY! Just because I'm Mexican doesn't mean I don't speak English! *under her breath* Racist bitch...
Me: You asked me if I spoke Spanish, so I replied in Spanish.
SC: Don't talk to me that way! *click*
Me:

Let me get this right... SC asks you, in Spanish, if you speak Spanish.
You reply in Spanish and somehow that makes you racist?

I just can't..... no, it's no good, need a strong coffee.

[bainsidhe]

SC: HEY! Just because I'm Mexican doesn't mean I don't speak English! *under her breath* Racist bitch...

*blink blink* WTF just happened?

[bendertiger]

Bilingual Bitchiness: Just because mexicans are renowned for working, doesn't mean their brains do :P

[Whiskey]

Me: It won't fit through the tubes.

you didn't really say this and they believed you right?

[Mondestrucken]

I wonder if they can return their brains for a full refund as having never been used.

[dalesys]

I wonder if they can return their brains for a full refund as having never been used.

Nope. Mommy didn't keep the receipt for daddy's deposit.

[RxBoy]

I would really like to believe that all three of those were prank calls, but unfortunately after working in customer service for the past 17 years I know better. You should never assume that you've seen it all.

[cybiko123]

you didn't really say this and they believed you right?

Oh, I did! I like to have fun with the idiots.

[MoonCat]

Trying to use cash online...and it's your fault it doesn't work...

Ow...my brain hurts.

I second the strong coffee. With brandy.

[Andara Bledin]

SC: Don't talk to me that way! *click*

How dare you speak logic at her!

Me: ...because we can't take cash electronically. It just isn't possible.
SC: But WHY?
Me: It won't fit through the tubes.

That answer is brilliant.

^-.-^

[Wenchie]

Me: ...because we can't take cash electronically. It just isn't possible.
SC: But WHY?
Me: It won't fit through the tubes.
SC: ...oh. Well, it's still YOUR fault! *click*

This is awesome. And the fact that you actually said it instead of just thinking it is even more awesome. Can I marry you?