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I've been keeping a running list for a couple of weeks to see how much accumulates. Figured I'd better post some before it gets too long. I'm no Gravekeeper but I'll do my best to convey the PITAs on Parade:
All in One Day:
Took an ad for a motor home. After I pried the basic info out of the customer with a verbal crowbar (she had to ask her husband for make, year & model), she gives me what hubby wrote for the ad: "Only made one trip to the Thousand Islands and back home, never used the inside because we stayed with friends in their house because my wife can't do long trips with her back problems and medication..."
Huh? Wha-? Look, trust me when I say that the readers don't care. Gimme some relevant information and skip the biography.
Why do people call me with hammering, loud conversations and screaming children in the background? I've had calls with one or two going on, but all three in the same call? You couldn't find a two-minute window in your day when none of these things was happening in the same room? For that matter, why are you in the same room? Are you using the only land line left in the county...with the shortest cord ever made?
Another call from somebody who's getting someone else's calls because the moron readers aren't dialing the area code which is right there in the ad! What do these twits think that number is for??
Will you please shut up?? Stop talking over me! I've told you the price five times and each time I had to interrupt you as you repeated something you already told me, which I didn't need to know anyway. You are the type of customer who will call back later and say you thought the price was X and your credit card was charged Y, and you never would have agreed to X, blah blah blah...
So your father is about to pass away and you, for some reason, do not want your name listed in his death notice. Yeah, fine, except that (a) the man hasn't even died yet! (b) you don't know who's going to make the arrangements with what funeral home, (c) we refuse to get involved in family disputes, and (d) in point of fact, we cannot tell whoever places the notice that they can't list your name in it. What exactly did you think we were going to do with this info, considering that we have nothing in the system to attach it to? And do you think it's just a little odd that with your father about to pass away, your first and only concern is "don't put my name in there"?
Other weirdness:
Customer: "Bath and a half...would that be 1.5 or 1.6?" What??
Then there was the "private party" (aka Dealer, OK, lady, we know you are!) whose motor home ad missed running over Memorial Day weekend. According to her, they wouldn't be able to sell it at all because "people buy motor homes that weekend, they don't buy them after that." That would be news to the manufacturers and the people with the large, well-lit lots full of shiny new motor homes.
To the lady who bitched at us about the Mother's Day ads because....we're "spelling it wrong," it "should be written Mothers' Day" (note the apostrophe). Guess what lady? The name was trademarked by Anna Jarvis with the specific punctuation that we used. Also? Get a life.
The guy who changed his ad for medical equipment because "people keeping calling to sell me their stuff." Well, that would be because you've got the words "bought and soldl" in your ad there, buddy.
Customer: Can I send you this ad in a pdf?
Me: A jpg would be better.
Customer: Um, it's on my Blackberry...I can't convert it...I think I can email it from here...let me get a pencil to write down your email address...(fumble fumble rattle)..OK, go ahead...
Good work there, Mr. Technology!
And you, Mr. "I never get your faxes." Suck it up already and buy a new machine. You are the ONLY customer who keeps insisting your machine can't receive faxes sent by computer, the ONLY customer who needs to have his proofs printed and faxed manually. And no, OUR machine is not cutting off the faxes at your end! That's your P.O.S. machine, which they probably don't even make parts for anymore. Buy a fax machine made after 1975, cheapskate!
And you, doofus, the one who wants proofs both faxed and emailed. Are you not aware that you can print an email??
There's more but I'll stop now. Feels good to rant.
All in One Day:
Took an ad for a motor home. After I pried the basic info out of the customer with a verbal crowbar (she had to ask her husband for make, year & model), she gives me what hubby wrote for the ad: "Only made one trip to the Thousand Islands and back home, never used the inside because we stayed with friends in their house because my wife can't do long trips with her back problems and medication..."
Huh? Wha-? Look, trust me when I say that the readers don't care. Gimme some relevant information and skip the biography. Why do people call me with hammering, loud conversations and screaming children in the background? I've had calls with one or two going on, but all three in the same call? You couldn't find a two-minute window in your day when none of these things was happening in the same room? For that matter, why are you in the same room? Are you using the only land line left in the county...with the shortest cord ever made?
Another call from somebody who's getting someone else's calls because the moron readers aren't dialing the area code which is right there in the ad! What do these twits think that number is for??
Will you please shut up?? Stop talking over me! I've told you the price five times and each time I had to interrupt you as you repeated something you already told me, which I didn't need to know anyway. You are the type of customer who will call back later and say you thought the price was X and your credit card was charged Y, and you never would have agreed to X, blah blah blah...
So your father is about to pass away and you, for some reason, do not want your name listed in his death notice. Yeah, fine, except that (a) the man hasn't even died yet! (b) you don't know who's going to make the arrangements with what funeral home, (c) we refuse to get involved in family disputes, and (d) in point of fact, we cannot tell whoever places the notice that they can't list your name in it. What exactly did you think we were going to do with this info, considering that we have nothing in the system to attach it to? And do you think it's just a little odd that with your father about to pass away, your first and only concern is "don't put my name in there"?
Other weirdness:
Customer: "Bath and a half...would that be 1.5 or 1.6?" What??
Then there was the "private party" (aka Dealer, OK, lady, we know you are!) whose motor home ad missed running over Memorial Day weekend. According to her, they wouldn't be able to sell it at all because "people buy motor homes that weekend, they don't buy them after that." That would be news to the manufacturers and the people with the large, well-lit lots full of shiny new motor homes.
To the lady who bitched at us about the Mother's Day ads because....we're "spelling it wrong," it "should be written Mothers' Day" (note the apostrophe). Guess what lady? The name was trademarked by Anna Jarvis with the specific punctuation that we used. Also? Get a life.
The guy who changed his ad for medical equipment because "people keeping calling to sell me their stuff." Well, that would be because you've got the words "bought and soldl" in your ad there, buddy.
Customer: Can I send you this ad in a pdf?
Me: A jpg would be better.
Customer: Um, it's on my Blackberry...I can't convert it...I think I can email it from here...let me get a pencil to write down your email address...(fumble fumble rattle)..OK, go ahead...
Good work there, Mr. Technology!
And you, Mr. "I never get your faxes." Suck it up already and buy a new machine. You are the ONLY customer who keeps insisting your machine can't receive faxes sent by computer, the ONLY customer who needs to have his proofs printed and faxed manually. And no, OUR machine is not cutting off the faxes at your end! That's your P.O.S. machine, which they probably don't even make parts for anymore. Buy a fax machine made after 1975, cheapskate!
And you, doofus, the one who wants proofs both faxed and emailed. Are you not aware that you can print an email??
There's more but I'll stop now. Feels good to rant.
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