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Is it Halloween yet? I want off.
bg - I work at uBash. /bg
Incident the First
We had a "grace period" with our Halloween costumes, and up until the 22nd were taking returns/exchanges on them so long as all the parts were there. After last Friday it changed to all sales final, not just on costumes but accessories, makeup, decor, candy, anything Halloween. No returns. We could exchange costumes if it turned out to be the wrong size, but the exchange must be of equal or greater value.
So I had this lady come in with $80 worth of Halloween stuff she wanted to return. I had to break the bad news.
SC: Excuse me? *imagine this in the snottiest tone possible*
Me: We stopped taking returns on all Halloween merchandise last Friday. I can't take this stuff back.
SC: You're lying.
Me: Actually ma'am, I'm not. We have signs posted everywhere that state this same thing.
SC: You're going to do this return right now.
Me: Unfortunately ma'am, I really can't take this back.
SC: You stupid or something? You trying to tell me I drove all this way to get my money back, and I'm not going to get it? The receipt says I have 30 days! *wha? she reads?*
Me: I know ma'am, but it also says...
SC: *whips out receipt and SLAMS it on the counter in front of me; strike one bitch* READ IT.
Me: *reads the part about gladly accepting any return within 30 days of purchase with receipt*
SC: See!
Me:*also reads extra clause about all sales final on Halloween merchandise in same paragraph*
SC: Where does it say that?
Me: *shows her, circling with pen over obvious circle mark done day of purchase in blue ink*
SC: No one told me that!
Me: *looking at receipt; I rung her out yesterday according to it, and I definitely told her because I had circled that in black ink. I remember it clearly. Strike two. I tell her this*
SC: And you're still not going to do anything?
Me: Hang on. *suffering from aneurysm, pages for C, the ASM*
C: What's up, Nash?
Me: Halp.
SC: Gimme my refund!
C:Nash?
Me: Halloween. *One Word Wonder....I'm broken...CtrlAltDel...*
C: Ahh....okay, see ma'am, *rattles off what I spent 10 minutes trying to explain*
SC: I know, this c***waffle *hoo boy!* already told me that, but that's not good enough! I KNOW you can do better!
C: Well, I can process the return but give you store credit...
SC: No! Cash!
C: Unfortunately I can't do that, it's store credit or..
SC: Forget it! *grabs her bag and storms out*
Is that it? Not by a longshot. The rest of the story was related to me by C a bit later. I missed the rest of it because I was off putting costumes back.
The SC sent her husband in with the return, and he told C a different story than the one the SC had. C told him the same thing and he tried to threaten her *she wasn't too worried, the guy looked like he weighed 60 lbs when wet I was told* so she called AA over for backup and....he gave him the return. Cash. $80 cash.
Yeah, I was shocked too. But AA said he only did it because a) he didn't want blows exchanged over a return, and this guy looked like he might have done just that, b) the lady had used a coupon on the stuff, so she got back what the stuff was worth after the coupon was applied, but he can turn back around and sell it at full price again ("She hadn't opened any of it, nothing's damaged, this will gone by Tuesday at our rate") and c) she was told not to come back.
Incident the Second
Kid, had to be 13, 14: Hi! I just want to buy this mask, is that okay?
Me: Sure! *does spiel about final sales on Halloween*, will that be okay?
Kid: Yep!
Me: *ching!, gives total*
Kid: *swipes a debit card, stares blankly at the terminal*
Me: It's asking for your PIN.
Kid: O...kay...*pushes some random buttons and then enter, cue angry BEEEEEEEE from terminal*
Me: Wrong PIN, perhaps?
Kid: Yeah, uh, sure, can we try that again?
Me: *clears everything* Okay, swipe your card, then enter your PIN
Kid: *beep beep beep......BEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Me: Sounds like strike two...
Kid: Ummm...just what is a PIN anyway? Is it these numbers? *points to last four numbers of card number*
Me: Nope...your PIN should have been set up when you opened your account...*red flags, abort, abort!* Mind if I see the card for a second?
Kid: *blanches* You know what, never mind on the mask...goodnight....*books it*
Me: *voids sale* Heh heh...gotcha....
Something tells me he swiped Mommy's card or someone else's and got caught red handed...good thing he didn't seem smart enough to use it as a credit...but too bad he booked it before I could call anyone.
Incidents the Third, Fourth, Fifth and Sixth
(misspelled sixth as "sith" at first...)
We have not carried, nor will we carry the following costumes:
*Lady Gaga's meat dress from the VMAs
*A condom (this was misheard at first as a request for condoms...)
*A bottle of rum/Jack/other booze product
*Pot leaf
Do us all a favor and stop asking us. You know it's pretty bad when a manager has to come and ask me if we carry some absurd costume because even they don't know if we have it.
Incident the Seventh
This actually turned out awesome and funny at the same time. My ASM D was trying to help a customer piece together a costume from scratch. But he had no idea what the customer wanted.
C: I'm going as Inigo Montoya from Princess Bride, you've seen that before, right?
D: Err...
C: You know, that movie that makes fun of fairy tales a bit? Had Andre the Giant in it?
D: Sorry, I'm drawing a blank on this...
Me: *next aisle over, can't take it anymore and I'm practically giggling and being nerdy*
C: C'mon, he had one of the best scenes in the movie! You know...shoot..
Me: *picking up foam sword and coming into the aisle, points sword at C and D* My name is Inigo Montoya. You have killed my father. Prepare to die.
C: *claps hands* YES! Thank you! *starts laughing, hugs me hard, that's okay I didn't need that rib* Best scene in that whole movie! *to D* Can I steal her?
D: Uh...
C: I mean to look for my costume..
D: Oh! Oh, sure.
C: Since she clearly knows what I'm talking about.
D: Yeah....
Me: I'm a geek, what can I say?
Got the guy all squared away, I swear his smile was so wide he barely fit through the door. D kept sticking his tongue out at me the rest of my shift if we crossed paths.
Phew. Time for the Irish Cure.
bg - I work at uBash. /bg
Incident the First
We had a "grace period" with our Halloween costumes, and up until the 22nd were taking returns/exchanges on them so long as all the parts were there. After last Friday it changed to all sales final, not just on costumes but accessories, makeup, decor, candy, anything Halloween. No returns. We could exchange costumes if it turned out to be the wrong size, but the exchange must be of equal or greater value.
So I had this lady come in with $80 worth of Halloween stuff she wanted to return. I had to break the bad news.
SC: Excuse me? *imagine this in the snottiest tone possible*
Me: We stopped taking returns on all Halloween merchandise last Friday. I can't take this stuff back.
SC: You're lying.
Me: Actually ma'am, I'm not. We have signs posted everywhere that state this same thing.
SC: You're going to do this return right now.
Me: Unfortunately ma'am, I really can't take this back.
SC: You stupid or something? You trying to tell me I drove all this way to get my money back, and I'm not going to get it? The receipt says I have 30 days! *wha? she reads?*
Me: I know ma'am, but it also says...
SC: *whips out receipt and SLAMS it on the counter in front of me; strike one bitch* READ IT.
Me: *reads the part about gladly accepting any return within 30 days of purchase with receipt*
SC: See!
Me:*also reads extra clause about all sales final on Halloween merchandise in same paragraph*
SC: Where does it say that?
Me: *shows her, circling with pen over obvious circle mark done day of purchase in blue ink*
SC: No one told me that!
Me: *looking at receipt; I rung her out yesterday according to it, and I definitely told her because I had circled that in black ink. I remember it clearly. Strike two. I tell her this*
SC: And you're still not going to do anything?
Me: Hang on. *suffering from aneurysm, pages for C, the ASM*
C: What's up, Nash?
Me: Halp.
SC: Gimme my refund!
C:Nash?
Me: Halloween. *One Word Wonder....I'm broken...CtrlAltDel...*
C: Ahh....okay, see ma'am, *rattles off what I spent 10 minutes trying to explain*
SC: I know, this c***waffle *hoo boy!* already told me that, but that's not good enough! I KNOW you can do better!
C: Well, I can process the return but give you store credit...
SC: No! Cash!
C: Unfortunately I can't do that, it's store credit or..
SC: Forget it! *grabs her bag and storms out*
Is that it? Not by a longshot. The rest of the story was related to me by C a bit later. I missed the rest of it because I was off putting costumes back.
The SC sent her husband in with the return, and he told C a different story than the one the SC had. C told him the same thing and he tried to threaten her *she wasn't too worried, the guy looked like he weighed 60 lbs when wet I was told* so she called AA over for backup and....he gave him the return. Cash. $80 cash.
Yeah, I was shocked too. But AA said he only did it because a) he didn't want blows exchanged over a return, and this guy looked like he might have done just that, b) the lady had used a coupon on the stuff, so she got back what the stuff was worth after the coupon was applied, but he can turn back around and sell it at full price again ("She hadn't opened any of it, nothing's damaged, this will gone by Tuesday at our rate") and c) she was told not to come back.
Incident the Second
Kid, had to be 13, 14: Hi! I just want to buy this mask, is that okay?
Me: Sure! *does spiel about final sales on Halloween*, will that be okay?
Kid: Yep!
Me: *ching!, gives total*
Kid: *swipes a debit card, stares blankly at the terminal*
Me: It's asking for your PIN.
Kid: O...kay...*pushes some random buttons and then enter, cue angry BEEEEEEEE from terminal*
Me: Wrong PIN, perhaps?
Kid: Yeah, uh, sure, can we try that again?
Me: *clears everything* Okay, swipe your card, then enter your PIN
Kid: *beep beep beep......BEEEEEEEEEEEE*
Me: Sounds like strike two...
Kid: Ummm...just what is a PIN anyway? Is it these numbers? *points to last four numbers of card number*
Me: Nope...your PIN should have been set up when you opened your account...*red flags, abort, abort!* Mind if I see the card for a second?
Kid: *blanches* You know what, never mind on the mask...goodnight....*books it*
Me: *voids sale* Heh heh...gotcha....
Something tells me he swiped Mommy's card or someone else's and got caught red handed...good thing he didn't seem smart enough to use it as a credit...but too bad he booked it before I could call anyone.
Incidents the Third, Fourth, Fifth and Sixth
(misspelled sixth as "sith" at first...)
We have not carried, nor will we carry the following costumes:
*Lady Gaga's meat dress from the VMAs
*A condom (this was misheard at first as a request for condoms...)
*A bottle of rum/Jack/other booze product
*Pot leaf
Do us all a favor and stop asking us. You know it's pretty bad when a manager has to come and ask me if we carry some absurd costume because even they don't know if we have it.
Incident the Seventh
This actually turned out awesome and funny at the same time. My ASM D was trying to help a customer piece together a costume from scratch. But he had no idea what the customer wanted.
C: I'm going as Inigo Montoya from Princess Bride, you've seen that before, right?
D: Err...
C: You know, that movie that makes fun of fairy tales a bit? Had Andre the Giant in it?
D: Sorry, I'm drawing a blank on this...
Me: *next aisle over, can't take it anymore and I'm practically giggling and being nerdy*
C: C'mon, he had one of the best scenes in the movie! You know...shoot..
Me: *picking up foam sword and coming into the aisle, points sword at C and D* My name is Inigo Montoya. You have killed my father. Prepare to die.
C: *claps hands* YES! Thank you! *starts laughing, hugs me hard, that's okay I didn't need that rib* Best scene in that whole movie! *to D* Can I steal her?
D: Uh...
C: I mean to look for my costume..
D: Oh! Oh, sure.
C: Since she clearly knows what I'm talking about.
D: Yeah....
Me: I'm a geek, what can I say?
Got the guy all squared away, I swear his smile was so wide he barely fit through the door. D kept sticking his tongue out at me the rest of my shift if we crossed paths.
Phew. Time for the Irish Cure.
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