restaurant rumpus

[Grumpy]

This is one from way back.

When I was in high school, there were two restaurants withing bicycle distance of my house. I worked at both of them at different times. The first one was a very upscale Continental Cuisine place. Both chefs were graduates of the Cordon Bleu School. I started there as a dishwasher, and eventually became an assistant to the evening chef. I learned to cook a lot of things I would never eat, like escargot and rack of lamb. I also learned to grill steaks really well. This place was famous for their steaks, and rightfully so. They were awesome, and only came from the very best cuts of meat.

(as an aside, the owners lived in an apartment over the restaurant, and their dogs, two very cool and very big German Shepherds lived in the back yard. The owners were nasty jerks. Whenever they really pissed me off I would cut huge slabs of steak and throw it out to the dogs. Those dogs loved me!)

The second restaurant was a country-western bar and grill. They had a surprisingly complete menu, considering that the majority of their business was from the bar, not the grill. It was a pretty cool set up, with an indoor charcoal grill for the burgers and steaks. I got hired there as a cook. Because I'd learned to cook steak at the fancy place, I got a lot of compliments on my steaks. But not from...The Loons!

The Loons came in one Saturday night and ordered two T-bones, medium. Now to me, medium means there's just a tiny bit of pink in the center. I cook them accordingly and send them out.

They come back.

The Loons say they're undercooked. No problem, I put them on the grill and send them back out medium-well. To me, this means no pink, removed from the grill the second the pink is gone.

They come back.

The Loons say they're undercooked. They're getting angry. I put them back on the grill and send them back out. Now they're very well done. No pink, no juice to speak of, and crispy edges.

They come back.

This time, Mrs Loon follows the waitress in. She is made enough to chew nails. She yells at me about her steaks, why the hell is it so hard to get medium steaks, how dare I send out raw meat, who the hell taught me to cook, and yadda yadda yadda.

Alrighty then.

I put them back on the grill, and leave them. For a long, long time. Then I flip them over, and leave them. For a long, long time. When I finally took them off, they were shriveled, black lumps of charcoal. I could seriously chip carbon off them with the spatula. I send them out. I am expecting The Loons to go ballistic, and I am expecting to be fired.

Mrs Loon come back into the kitchen. She is very happy. She is sorry that she was harsh before, and she realizes that I am very young and have a lot to learn, but when people are paying a lot of money for a steak the really want it cooked right. But I finally got it right! They were perfect! She hands me a $10 bill. (a fortune to a high school student back in the olden days.) I am confused for life.

[AriGriffin]

Mrs. Loon sounds like one of my aunts. I've heard her ask for medium and then she'll get upset (and complain) if there is pink in the middle and the steak isn't burnt. I hate going out to eat with her because of it.

[Marmalady]

Uh-huh.

My ex's mother didn't think vegetables were properly cooked unless they were khaki coloured rather then green. Potatoes were usually a sort of white watery mound. Meat would be roasted until it was dried out and leathery.
But then, my dad thinks that 'toasted' means 'black'.

[Sleepwalker]

There's a couple regulars that like their meat cooked that way at my store.

Of course, being reasonable(for customers) they EMPHATICALLY repeat over the phone to put BURN IT on the order slip.

I shudder to think of what well done means to the Loon...

[bainsidhe]

People have different interpretations of the meaning of medium, medium-well, etc. Whatever. The problem I have is that people need to ask what it means to the restaurant/locale. Where I grew up, medium would get you quite a bit of pink in the center and would squirt some pink. Around here it means just a little pink and no blood (perfect for me! ) But every cook is different, because I still get differing degrees of doneness even now. Just so long as the steak isn't still pumping blood, please. Seeing my potatoes swimming in blood is quite the turnoff *gag*

[Spork4pedro]

Ok...Being someone who loves her steak nearly mooing I can understand why people don't dig rare or even medium rare doneness. I really do...but THAT shouldn't even be considered steak! you might as well be chomping on the charcoal it was cooked over! Blech!

Reminds me of the one time my BF over cooked our steaks a few years ago. It was some special occasion (v-day or anniversary..something like that) and he wanted to make a special dinner but I *cough* accidentally *cough* distracted him and he forgot about the steaks. When he went back out the insides were WHITE!! I didn't even know that steak turned white! When ended up having a romantic meal via Pizza Hut that night.

[EricKei]

There's a couple regulars that like their meat cooked that way at my store.

Of course, being reasonable(for customers) they EMPHATICALLY repeat over the phone to put BURN IT on the order slip.

WE had a regular like that at DaddyJim's -- Anything less than two full trips thru the oven, and he would ask us to cook it some more (he always came in to pick it up)

[wraiths_crono]

...I now want a steak, Medium (that means some pink to me) droooolll!

[shadowpanda]

Ok...Being someone who loves her steak nearly mooing I can understand why people don't dig rare or even medium rare doneness. I really do...but THAT shouldn't even be considered steak! you might as well be chomping on the charcoal it was cooked over! Blech!

I like my steak to practically moo too :-)

Maybe this Loon just didn't know what medium rare was and just liked saying the words! At least she ended up happy and didn't try and get a free meal or anything

[Draco]

They said medium, not medium rare.

I like my steaks and burgers Medium Well. The list on wikipedia is actually the one I tend to see used in most places (and my family) in the area:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Temperature_(meat)
Extra-rare or Blue (in French, bleu): very red and cold
Rare (saignant): cold red center; soft
Medium rare (à point): warm red center; firmer
Medium (cuit): pink and firm
Medium well (bien cuit): small amount of pink in center
Well done: gray-brown throughout; firm

Notice what the Loons ordered isn't even classed as meat? =P

[Stormraven]

Where I grew up, Medium Well meant cooked through, but - as the OP says - removed immediately once the pink is gone, while Well is cooked to a bit of char (just a bit).

However, out here, Med Well and well seem to mean what Wikipedia says. So yeah, it's different wherever you go, I guess. I just ask.

My Lady and her mother like Well Done as I described it, so are often heard to order Very Well Done.

[shadowpanda]

They said medium, not medium rare.

My mistake, sorry

[telecom_goddess]

Uh-huh.

My ex's mother didn't think vegetables were properly cooked unless they were khaki coloured rather then green. Potatoes were usually a sort of white watery mound. Meat would be roasted until it was dried out and leathery.
But then, my dad thinks that 'toasted' means 'black'.

My mother was like that -- she cooked everything to the point that it was not fit to eat anymore. As a result now I like my vegetables practically raw and my meat RARE.

[MoonCat]

My brother used to say, just knock the horns off and run it past the fire

I like it medium well, which, around here, usually means just a tiny bit of pink, no blood oozing.

Now I'm hungry

[TonyDonuts]

We had a guy like the Loon's who was a semi-regular at the first restaurant I worked in.

He would order our ribeye special ($3.99-this was 25 years ago, and yes, they were really good).

My first time working the grill, I got the ticket, but I hadn't seen them cook his steak before, just the part on the ticket that said "well."

So I cooked it to well as I knew it, firm, with a bit of char (touch your pinky to your thumb, then feel the muscle at the base of your thumb--that's what a well-done steak should feel like when you press it with a finger or your spatula).

Anyway, he sent it back, complaining that I had sent it out "raw."

I slapped it back on the grill, and left it there until the grill lines were grooves filled with ash, and sent it back out. Nope, still "raw." The guy asked his server if there was anybody in the building what a well-done steak was supposed to look like.

Back on the grill it goes. I set a pot lid over it to hold the heat in, and left it there until I saw smoke. I flipped it and did the same thing. I took it off the grill and set in on the plate. It was completely black, and clattered a bit when I set it down. I tapped it with a spoon, and the steak had passed "firm" to become "wood." A little piece broke off an edge.

I told the server, "I've done all I can, the next step is a pile of ashes." And she brought it back.

The guy loved it, but was a little peeved that it "took so damn long to get it right, I thought you guys knew how to cook steaks!"

At the time I thought he was the only one. Surely there couldn't be more people who liked the taste of ash!

Could there?