Literacy rate up, comprehension rate down

[SCSlave]

I totall feel your pain. We don't have a public restroom, but we DO have a restroom, obviously. It's a cell phone store..and I am amazed at how many people ask to use it.

I've had people bitch incessantly about it. People, PLEASE, go to the bathroom before going out if you have to go 'that bad'. I understand some people do, indeed, have bladder control problems, or IBS...but there is a gas station (they just passed on the way to our store) and a McDonalds directly across the street. They both have public restrooms. Go there. Or use the one in your home...assuming you have one. I sometimes wonder.

I had a guy once, who was incredibly rude. He wanted to use the bathroom. He said "Bathrooms right there, right?" And headed towards it. I said "Yes...but it's locked" He said "Unlock it then" I said "I don't have a key and it's employees only" (Has a big red sign on it...apparently people can't read) He said "Well I guess I'll just be uncomfortable then" Thinking that I'd then say "Oh no!!! I won't have you being uncomfortable! I will break the rules just for you" I just smiled.

Then he says "Maybe I should just piss on the floor right here by your feet!" I said "That's not a good idea" He said "Why not? You won't let me use your precious restroom!" I said "For one thing, it's illegal to urinate in public. For another, you'd be thrown out. You could go across the street if you like" He grumbled and complained the whole time he was there. Making sure everyone (innocent customers and employees) knew how uncomfortable he was because I would not allow him to use the bathroom.

[HalloranElder]

A friend of mine (some language) - Long

A friend of mine is the concierge/security at a major downtown office block.

She was hired for her competence, her intelligence, her ability to improvise and get things done, and her ability to do the attractive but stupid blonde-headed bimbo act very well.

She is also very good at insulting people to their faces in such a fashion as they think she's being friendly. Case in point: An idiot walks up to the front desk and ask how to get to the 23rd floor. She is sitting at the front desk, and behind her is three banks of elevators with very large signs clearly stating which floors each bank covers.

So, she says (in a bright, bubbly and clueless tone of voice), "Well, you walk over there, and turn left and go down the corridor with the sign that says "Floors 12 to 24" and on the wall there is a button with an up arrow on it and you press it, and when one of the elevators arrive you go inside and push the button with the 23 on it, and that will take you up to level 23."

Idiot smiles, says thank you, and follows her instructions.

Anyway, back on topic.

The building has two sewerage systems. Everything from ground floor and above goes straight into the city sewerage system, while everything below ground floor gets put into a holding tank and pumped into the city sewerage system periodically.

They had to do maintenance on the lower sewerage system, so none of the toilets, basins or showers below ground floor could be used or it would flood sewerage through the basement.

So, knowing the idiots she deals with, she goes to the main bathroom on the basement level and turns the water off at the source, puts a large sign on each cubicle door saying they can't be used and to go to the bathroom on level 1, turns off the lights to the entire bathroom, puts another large sign on the door into the bathroom saying that it can't be used and to go to the bathroom on level one, and places a barricade in front of the door.

That should be enough, right? You know where this is going, don't you?

Mr Idiot walks up to bathroom door, moves the barricade aside, ignores the sign on the door, walks into the dark bathroom, goes into a cubicle and ignores the sign on it's door, takes a leak, and pushes the button to flush.

He then walks back to the front desk and complains that the toilets are broken.

She knows the normal level of idiocy she deals with, so she, very nicely, asks which toilets? Mr Idiot replies that it's the ones in the basement. Small idiots she is "nice" to. Big idiots? Well, they are a whole 'nother story...

She replied, "so, you want to flood the basement with , do you?"

He looks a little bit shell-shocked at this, and insists that he did not flood the basement with anything.

"No, you didn't flood the basement, but only because I know how stupid you lot are and I turned off the water supply to those bathrooms. So the fact that there was a barricade in front of the door, signs saying that the bathroom can't be used on the main bathroom door and each and every cubicle door, and the lights were out, didn't alert you to the fact you weren't supposed to use those bathrooms?"

He splutters and wanders off in a huff, however, it's too late. She knows who he is, and where he works, so she sends a small email off to the building manager, and the man's boss explaining what he had done.

I love that girl!

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

At my store, we had a urinal that was blocked up and not flushing for some reason.

We made sign saying that the urinal was out of order and should not be used. We attached it to the urinal with lots of duct tape.

However, we left enough room for guys to fire away anyhow. And fire away they did. I pity the poor sap who had to come in there and clean up the piss that would overflow the urinal and end up on the floor and make the bathroom smell like the bathroom at a packed sports stadium.

Oh wait. I was the sap.

[powerboy]

Something that has been bugging me, why do they not read? I know most of the SC's are retarded, but still, Dogs listen more then they do.

[seeress_83]

Something that has been bugging me, why do they not read?

The problem is that they do read, they just don't comprehend. Or they think we're joking. Or just being mean. Or something. Or they think that normal rules don't apply to them because "OMGWTFBBQ!!! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!"

[symposes]

Tony Donuts has a story about a broken jukebox, that was unplugged, and had a sign on it saying it didnt work. When a customer pulled the sign off, moved the jukebox enough to plug it in, then put his money in.
Tony refused to refund the cash on that.
Alas, he tells the story so much better then I.

[Gurndigarn]

Something that has been bugging me, why do they not read? I know most of the SC's are retarded, but still, Dogs listen more then they do.

Yes, but dogs don't think they're the center of the earth.

And before anyone points out the obvious, cats have more brains than SCs.

[Geek King]

Yes, but dogs don't think they're the center of the earth.

And before anyone points out the obvious, cats have more brains than SCs.

"Cats were once treated as gods. and have never forgotten this."

[protege]

And before anyone points out the obvious, cats have more brains than SCs.

Kitties can be trained. SC's cannot For example, mine knows where his litterboxes are. He knows that the green chair is his...and that he's not supposed to get onto the couch unless the "kitty sheet" (an old bedsheet) is on it. He knows he's not allowed in my bedroom, nor is he allowed in the office when I'm not there. I don't want him pouncing on me at 3am, nor do I want him knocking things over in the office. So far, he's been good, but does have his moments

[BookstoreEscapee]

"Cats were once treated as gods. and have never forgotten this."

A dog accepts you as boss but a cat wants to see your resume

[Imogene]

The problem is that they do read, they just don't comprehend. Or they think we're joking. Or just being mean. Or something. Or they think that normal rules don't apply to them because "OMGWTFBBQ!!! THE CUSTOMER IS ALWAYS RIGHT!"

I get the feeling that most people only see the fact that there's a sign, and don't bother reading it. And then do whatever they had planned to do anyway. And it's not until after their plan doesn't work that they go back and read the freaking instructions!

/Admits to having done that, many times before
//But, it was an Ikea bookcase, they're designed to be idiot-proof!

[Demonoid Phenomenon]

I hate to admit this, but when I worked at Dollar Tree, we (temporarily) put an OUT OF ORDER sign on the restroom due to several freaks messing it up one after the other. I won't go into details...
It didn't last long because our DM made us take it down.
It wouldn't have lasted anyway, I guess, since it would have needed to be 'fixed' sooner or later.

[seeress_83]

I hate to admit this, but when I worked at Dollar Tree, we (temporarily) put an OUT OF ORDER sign on the restroom due to several freaks messing it up one after the other.

I know that there are places that do that, but 90% of the people that I have to listen to complain about the restroom not working are REGULAR customers who A) Know that we are the only public restroom in town and B) Know what our plumbing situation is. That said, we once had the Out of Order sign on our restroom for three months, because the people I work for apparently don't care whether or not the restroom works, and their solution for everything is send the maintenance man who doesn't know his arse from a hole in the ground. It took him two days to change a doorknob. Because he's that stupid.

[CrazedClerk]

My mom and I dropped by the courthouse today, she had to get a copy of some document.

We're in the office and I see two HUGE signs posted saying: "THIS OFFICE DOES NOT GIVE LEGAL ADVICE."

You'd think being a member of this site that I wouldn't be surprised that the signs would be needed but I still pondered the fact that some people would be stupid enough to do what the sign says not to.

[Primer]

I have to admit to a few "DOH" moments:

1. At the grocery store, in the self-checkout lane-I just could NOT get the sticker on the bag of apples to scan. I carefully read the instructions on the screen, which said to put the item on the scale and enter the item code OR wait and choose from a list of produce. I waited for the list, but apples were not on there. I tried again. Finally, the poor CSR came over and showed me where to find the item code--on the little stickers on the apples themselves. DOH! I knew that! I thanked him, albeit a bit embarrassedly.

2. At Wally World, I was in the pharmacy section looking for cotton balls, as my DH had an infection I was having to clean out several times a day (he couldn't reach it himeslf). I looked all over the department before asking for help. The CSR directed me over to the cosmetics section. Now I have to let y'all know that while I am female, I do not wear make-up. I use cotton balls ONLY for first aid. I turned around and looked where she was pointing, and there at the end of the cosmetics aisle was a sign that said, among other things, "cotton balls." DOH again!

I never get upset at anybody but myself in these situations, but DOH moments can, and do, happen to the best of us!