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  • Signs we need at Subway

    "Don't complain at us about how long this line is. It has been scientifically proven that the size of the dining area is inversely proportional to the amount of customers that visit the store. You'll notice that we don't have a dining area. You do the math."

    "This here is a list of all the $5 footlongs. You'll notice that the Turkey is not included on this list - That's right, neither is the B.M.T or the Chicken Bacon Ranch, either. No, we will not make it $5 just for you - wait until a deal comes by like everyone else."

    "We do not take bills larger than a $20. Yes, a $50 is larger than a $20. Yes, so is a $100."

    *Picture of a tombstone*
    "Here lies the last person who held up the line to talk on their cell phone."

    "PULL"
    *written on the pull handle of the Cooler that everyone tries to bloody PUSH. >.<*

    "Put that cell phone DOWN."

    "Please have an idea of what you want before you order - You'll notice a line of about 50-60 people behind you, and the more time you spend staring at the menu like a wooden doll, the longer they have to wait for you to make a decision."

    *picture of King Leonidas*
    "THIS. IS. SUBWAY.
    You'll notice that we do not have stuff like Pizzas, tacos, or burgers. "

    "These menus are given to you free of charge so you don't have to hold the line up deciding what you want and stare at the menu up there. Please do not prove Hardin's 'Tragedy of the Commons' by taking all of these and leaving none for anyone else."

    "The small drink is the 21 oz drink - It's the two up front. The ones labeled, "21 Oz". That is the one you get with the meal deal, and it is the default drink we charge you for when you just say something like "Drink", "Coke", "Iced Tea", "Small". We are doing this because the other options cost more and it is best assume you don't want to pay an extra dollar or so."

    "If you want a bottled drink, then SAY you do."

    "Please put your call on hold - NOT THE LINE."

    "If the person at the register is asking what kind of sandwich you had, it's because s/he does not know because s/he did not make your sandwich. Tell them what kind of sandwich you ordered - And no, "$5 footlong" is not the right answer. We are busy enough without having to remember your sandwiches for you."

    "Ordering a "Chicken Sandwich" is like going into a coffee shop and saying, "I'll have a coffee". There are at least four items with chicken in them - You need to say which kind because, contrary to popular belief, we aren't actually psychic and able to know what you mean by that."

    "Don't order your sandwich based on price, please - you'll notice there is more than one "Five dollar deal" or "Three fifty one" on the menu. We heed to know which one of those you want."

    "If your friend is going to pay for your sandwich, please make sure they actually know they're paying."

    "If you take a bag of chips and start eating it in front of us, then you have to pay for it and we will charge you."

    *picture of Arnold*
    "PUT THAT CELL PHONE DOWN."

    "Walking up and saying, "I'll have a Sub Sandwich" was funny when it was 1965. Is it 1965? No? Then don't say it - it's not funny."
    Kangaroo Squee!

  • #2
    LOL My Subway has pizzas..

    and I want the cellphone signs. ALL Of them. For the hotel.

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    • #3
      The most important thing to remember when walking into a crowded Subway shop or anywhere else is to have patience. Throwing a hissy fit isn't going to make anyone work faster.

      Comment


      • #4
        oh, god the cell phones...

        Actually my subway does few other things that just regular subs, its got "pizzas", cheese on toast, nacho pots, salads, pepperoni toasties, but thats not the point, the menu's are there for a reason, they say what you can buy.

        If its not on the menu, they don't do it, its that simple
        "You can only try so hard to look like you are working before actually doing your work seems easy in comparison" -My Boss

        CW: So what exactly do you do in retentions?
        Me: ummm, I ....retent stuff?

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        • #5
          "If your friend is going to pay for your sandwich, please make sure they actually know they're paying."
          This one really made me laugh...and yet cry at the same time. I can just picture some fool saying "he's paying" and walking off... and the poor friend getting stuck with the bill.
          When you start at zero, everything's progress.

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          • #6
            It's more along the line of that guy paying for his sandwich and leaving, and his friend going "but I thought he paid for mine! I don't have any money!"

            Been behind that guy on a lunch break. Because of his argument I had to forfeit my sandwich and return to work without one. (Many Bothans died that day.)

            Better is my mom's common complaint of not getting any olives on her sandwich because they have a set amount to put on. I understand, I usually just look across and go: "Is it okay to get more?" . . . as I am well aware they have their olives weighed and counted individually as the manager thinks it's a crime to give out more than four tiny black onion rings on a 12" sandwich.

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            • #7
              Quoth Kereminde View Post
              It's more along the line of that guy paying for his sandwich and leaving, and his friend going "but I thought he paid for mine! I don't have any money!"
              I've seen those guys before, too. >:/
              Kangaroo Squee!

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              • #8
                The one I frequent has a pizza option, but I doubt most people opt for it since it's located right next to an all-you-can-eat pizza buffet.
                To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...

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                • #9
                  Re the cell phone thing - I refuse to serve anyone that's not "in the moment". If they're on the cell, I go to the next customer

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                  • #10
                    I'll have a sub sandwich
                    I don't get it.

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                    • #11
                      Quoth Jack View Post
                      I don't get it.
                      They're at a place that makes sub sandwiches and they ask for a sub sandwich.

                      Of which there are about 30 to choose from.

                      ^-.-^
                      Faith is about what you do. It's about aspiring to be better and nobler and kinder than you are. It's about making sacrifices for the good of others. - Dresden

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                      • #12
                        I wish they had the turkey sub as a $5 foot long all the time.

                        It's the only one I'll eat.

                        *pouting mildly*
                        Unseen but seeing
                        oh dear, now they're masquerading as sane-KiaKat
                        There isn't enough interpretive dance in the workplace these days-Irv
                        3rd shift needs love, too
                        RIP, mo bhrionglóid

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                        • #13
                          Agreed, Becks. I was pretty livid when they moved it to a $6 sub.

                          Oh well, it has to be $5 footlong time soon, right?
                          You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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                          • #14
                            Very good list. As a Subway customer - I do agree with most.
                            The other day I got huge thanks from the employee (no, I won't say "Sandwich Artist") at the nearby Sub. I asked him why, as I had behaved normally. Well, he told me "Simply because you queued, already knew what you wanted when it was your turn to order, repeated your order when paying, asked for a specific drink without us needing to guess, paid and thanked". I was surprised this earned me his gratitude. Now I start guessing why.
                            FABRICATI DIEM, PVNC

                            You're not a unique snowflake unless you create your own mould (Raps)

                            ***GK, Sarcastro, Lupo, LingualMonkey, BookBint, Jester, Irv, Hero & Marlowe fan***

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                            • #15
                              Everyone who works at the Subways I go to always says "Wow, you're an easy one!" because my sandwiches are always so plain.

                              I love the people who order their sandwhiches so busy and sloppy, the employee has a hard time closing it, then the idiot probably wonders how half of it ends up on the floor or on their pants when they eat it.
                              You really need to see a neurologist. - Wagegoth

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