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One! One ruined Christmas! Ah ah ah (thunderclap)

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  • One! One ruined Christmas! Ah ah ah (thunderclap)

    Coupon Conniption:

    I'm at the service desk waiting for somebody to verify a duplicate receipt for one of the approximately 78,543,332,298,467,029,475,202 items I carried out today. In front of me is some old bat wanting an adjustment done because the cashier forgot to scan a coupon she had. More like the old skinbag forgot to present it in the first place.

    Front-end manager takes her receipt and finds everything was paid for with a credit card. She asks old bag for the card. Old bag tells her it was her husband's card, and he's waiting out in their car.

    FEM explains she can't do any adjustments without the card used to make the purchase. Old bat says "Fine, I just won't shop here any more!"

    And the kicker is, the coupon turned out to be expired anyway, and cash office and LP are up the front end's butts about checking the expiration dates before accepting any coupons.

    Bullshit Bullshit Bullshit

    SG: Some guy
    W: Some guy's wife
    Me: SILENCE! I KEEL YOU!

    I'm returning from another carryout. SG flags me down.

    SG: Can you help us? We're looking for those remote-control flameless candles you have in your ad.

    (Author's note: Yes, these do exist, they're carried at Ye Olde Clearance Swampe, and evidently people have decided they are THE must-give item for Christmas this year. We had all of six in stock earlier this week and sold them all yesterday when our current ad began.)

    Me: (scans the shelf label to find none on hand and none on order) Sorry, but we're out of them right now, and we can' give any rainchecks. There's also none on order, but that could mean they just haven't hit the DC yet and we'll have them sometime in the future.

    W: (in a voice loud enough to be heard across the store) THAT'S BULLSHIT! I've been to six stores already, none of them have those candles, and everybody's telling me different things! That's half my Christmas list shot right there! My Christmas is going to be RUINED!

    So yeah, I guess I'm in the lead for ruined Christmases again. You all have some work to do to catch up.

    And seriously, of all the flameless candles we have in the store, why are the ones with remote control the only ones people want? I swear there's too much money in making things to help people be lazier...



    Note to self: Invent remote-controlled flush toilet.



    Another note to self: Invent remote-controlled flush toilet/Barca-Lounger. No need to leave your seat or reach behind you when nature calls during the big game!
    Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

    "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

  • #2
    We had a remote control fan at one of my old jobs...
    To err is human, to blame someone else shows good management skills.

    my blog --> http://www.hendrices.com/joesblog/
    my brother's blog --> http://www.hendrices.com/ryansblog/

    Comment


    • #3
      Flameless candles...aren't those called bulbs nowadays?
      I am the nocturnal echo-locating flying mammal man.

      Comment


      • #4
        Note to self: invent remote-controlled fetch toy for dogs.
        Seshat's self-help guide:
        1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
        2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
        3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
        4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.

        "All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.

        Comment


        • #5
          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
          ...



          Note to self: Invent remote-controlled flush toilet.

          Note: Implement exabutt internet interface so it can flush the S***-For-Brains sitting on it.
          I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
          Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
          Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post


            Note to self: Invent remote-controlled flush toilet.
            I think Japan beat you to it.



            Another note to self: Invent remote-controlled flush toilet/Barca-Lounger. No need to leave your seat or reach behind you when nature calls during the big game!
            I know Tim Taylor beat you to that one.

            Quoth RayvenQ View Post
            Flameless candles...aren't those called bulbs nowadays?
            Sort of, they flicker like they're going out. With a shade on they look like a flickering candle.

            Quoth dalesys View Post
            Note: Implement exabutt internet interface so it can flush the S***-For-Brains sitting on it.
            Now this one holds promise.
            I AM the evil bastard!
            A+ Certified IT Technician

            Comment


            • #7
              Quoth Seshat View Post
              Note to self: invent remote-controlled fetch toy for dogs.
              It's not exactly remote-controlled, but there is this.
              Ah, tally-ho, yippety-dip, and zing zang spillip! Looking forward to bullying off for the final chukka?

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth Seshat View Post
                Note to self: invent remote-controlled fetch toy for dogs.
                Quoth Bradester View Post
                It's not exactly remote-controlled, but there is this.
                If you don't feel like building one:
                http://www.activedogtoys.com/godoggo.html
                Life is too short to not eat popcorn.
                Save the Ales!
                Toys for Tots at Rooster's Cafe

                Comment


                • #9
                  For the honor of ruining Christmas before it's even Thanksgiving:

                  Note to self: invent remote-controlled ass-wiping mechanism.
                  Steven Slater ROCKS! So does James Jones!

                  The world is an asshole contest...and EVERYONE'S A WINNER!

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    Note to self: invent remote-controlled ass-wiping mechanism.
                    we may not have that just yet, but we do have this:

                    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGAgu6zI9v0
                    look! it's ghengis khan!
                    Sorry, but while I can do many things, extracting heads from anuses isn't one of them. (so sayeth the irv)

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      note to self: steal his idea
                      If for any reason you're not satisfied with our service, I hate you.

                      Comment


                      • #12
                        Invent a remote for all the other remotes, for when people loose all them. Now as for what to do when somebody loses that one..no clue.
                        Engaged to the amazing Marmalady. She is my Silver Dragon, shining as bright as the sun. I her Black Dragon (though good honestly), dark as night..fierce and strong.

                        Comment


                        • #13
                          Install The Clapper?
                          Steven Slater ROCKS! So does James Jones!

                          The world is an asshole contest...and EVERYONE'S A WINNER!

                          Comment


                          • #14
                            One wonders how humans would react if we had to go back to a world without electrical power.
                            Customers should always be served . . . to the nearest great white.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              Quoth Kristev View Post
                              One wonders how humans would react if we had to go back to a world without electrical power.
                              I'm sure that some would die from giving themselves an aneurism from screaming into a non-working phone while sitting in the dark frantically clutching their laptop to the their chest and rocking back and forth about how 'someone' needs to get this fixed NOW!!
                              "So, let's build a snowman! We can make him our best friend. We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf! We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall!"

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