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Yeah.. K. I officially hate answering our phones. This gem of woman called, and now I'm scarred. For life. There are some images not even brain bleach can cure.
Players:
Me: Hi. I'm cute. Love me?
Scary Lady (SL): I tend to overshare.. wanna swing?
SL starts out pleasant enough. Then this:
SL: "So I want to know if you have or know a hotel that has these things.. like a hotel in the area."
Me: (K.. duh? I'm not telling you about hotels elsewhere..): "Sure."
SL: "Do your rooms have microwaves?"
Me: "Yes Ma'am."
SL: "Hairdryers?"
Me: "Yes Ma'am."
SL: "Mirrors?"
Me: (K.. do I wanna know there this is going?) "Yes ma'am. One in the bathroom and one on the wall above the credenza usually."
SL: "Can the one on the wall be moved to the ceiling?"
Me: (Oh no..) "No ma'am. It's stuck to the wall."
SL: "Hmm. Well I'm a big girl, 3## (can't remember) pounds and I like to see what I'm doing.. and HE'S doing, ya know?
Me: (*whimpers* Brain bleach!! Where be you!) "Um.. Anything.. else ma'am?"
SL: "Oh sorry. That was TMI wasn't it? Hmm..let's see.. Toys?"
Me: "Like..?" (Oh god why did I have to ask that. Say no stupid!)
SL: "Well.."
Me: "Oh. Uh. No."
SL: "What about a porn channel?"
Me: "No.. ma'am." (-blue screen-)
SL: "Swing or stripper pole?"
Me: "Ma'am, we're a business hotel and while we generally are great for couples, we aren't a sleazy hotel. No poles or swings here. Those are very popular in Vegas though."
SL: "Oh. Maybe I should go to Vegas then. Thanks!" *click*
I'm sorry if I sent this woman to any of you, but I swear, it was self preservation! Eegads that's a very awkward conversation to have.
Players:
Me: Hi. I'm cute. Love me?
Scary Lady (SL): I tend to overshare.. wanna swing?
SL starts out pleasant enough. Then this:
SL: "So I want to know if you have or know a hotel that has these things.. like a hotel in the area."
Me: (K.. duh? I'm not telling you about hotels elsewhere..): "Sure."
SL: "Do your rooms have microwaves?"
Me: "Yes Ma'am."
SL: "Hairdryers?"
Me: "Yes Ma'am."
SL: "Mirrors?"
Me: (K.. do I wanna know there this is going?) "Yes ma'am. One in the bathroom and one on the wall above the credenza usually."
SL: "Can the one on the wall be moved to the ceiling?"
Me: (Oh no..) "No ma'am. It's stuck to the wall."
SL: "Hmm. Well I'm a big girl, 3## (can't remember) pounds and I like to see what I'm doing.. and HE'S doing, ya know?
Me: (*whimpers* Brain bleach!! Where be you!) "Um.. Anything.. else ma'am?"
SL: "Oh sorry. That was TMI wasn't it? Hmm..let's see.. Toys?"
Me: "Like..?" (Oh god why did I have to ask that. Say no stupid!)
SL: "Well.."
Me: "Oh. Uh. No."
SL: "What about a porn channel?"
Me: "No.. ma'am." (-blue screen-)
SL: "Swing or stripper pole?"
Me: "Ma'am, we're a business hotel and while we generally are great for couples, we aren't a sleazy hotel. No poles or swings here. Those are very popular in Vegas though."
SL: "Oh. Maybe I should go to Vegas then. Thanks!" *click*
I'm sorry if I sent this woman to any of you, but I swear, it was self preservation! Eegads that's a very awkward conversation to have.
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