What's so hard about just working with me?

[nekoro]

I had one of those calls yesterday. One of the "I don't know, just fix it!" calls. The conversation went something like this:

Me: Blah blah blah opening crap.
SC: I need to download your software.
Me: What version of Windows do you have?
SC: (blows up) I don't know! Stop asking me stupid questions, I just need your software!
Me: I can't help you unless I know what version of Windows you have.
SC: Rant, rave, finally follow directions to find out what version
Me: Oh no, you don't have the right updates (Windows XP, but she didn't have any service packs installed, and we need those)
SC: I'm going to download it anyway! You're useless! *click*

It was actually much longer and more frustrating than that. She kept insisting that I was asking stupid questions, and that she didn't need to know that. Then that I was useless. All said in a very slow "You must be a moron" tone. Just one of those people who refuses to let you help. I found myself wondering how people like this even function in real life.

At a restaurant:

Server: Hi, welcome to ****** how can I help you?
SC: I'm hungry
Server: Well, what would you like today
SC: I'm hungry! Bring me food!
Server: Ma'am, unless you tell me what you would like, I can't really help you.
SC: You're useless! I said that I'm hungry! I. Just. Want. FOOD!!
Server: Ma'am, I'm asking what kind of food you would like-
SC: Why are you asking me these stupid questions? I'm telling you everything you need to know!

Seriously. WTF is wrong with some people? Why do they think that calling tech support is magic?

[friendofjimmyk]

Yes. Same thing happens with roadside assistance.

SC: I need a truck!
ME: Where are you located?
SC: Why are you asking these questions?! I just need a truck! How soon can you be here?
ME: Where? What's wrong with the vehicle? What kind of truck do you need?
SC: THIS IS RIDICULOUS! JUST SEND ME A TRUCK! How soon?

[Becks]

Maybe these people think employees everywhere need more of a challenge.

[protege]

It was actually much longer and more frustrating than that. She kept insisting that I was asking stupid questions, and that she didn't need to know that. Then that I was useless. All said in a very slow "You must be a moron" tone.

I can't figure out people like that--they bitch and moan when needing help, and then scream at you for trying to provide it? that. That's *exactly* why I no longer help certain relatives with computer issues. Why get yelled at if I'm not gettin paid? Don't like what I'm telling you? Fix it yourself, I have GTA to play

[HawaiianShirts]

Anywhere there are customers, there will be such conversations.

SC: I need to upgrade my compuer.
Me: What kind of upgrade? RAM? Hard drive? Video card?
SC: Nah, just an upgrade.
Me: I need to know what kind of upgrade you want before I can make any recommendations.
SC: I just need an UPGRADE! Y'know. Whatever makes it faster.
Me: Probably RAM, then. Do you have a desktop or laptop?
SC: Does that matter?
Me: Yes. Yes it does.
SC: It's a desktop. A Dell.
Me: Okay. Now we just need to know what size and speed of RAM will work best in your system.
SC: Why is this so HARD for you? Do you even work in this department? I just need an UPGRADE to make it FASTER!
Me: If we get the wrong size or type of RAM, it won't work and may even cause damage to your computer.
SC: Oh. Well, it's a Dell. Does that help?
Me: Not really. If you don't know what type of RAM you need, I can look it up with your computer's model number.
SC: Aw, this. I'm going to your COMPETITION. THEY don't ask me pointless questions!

I've worked at this store almost two years. I've lost track of how many times I've had a conversation like this one.

[Mr. Rude]

*sigh*
Same calls here. They want something but are too lazy too check up on the specs themselves, and of course expect me to do the research for them on an item they may not even buy.

Hmmm...30 minutes of labour for a non-existant sale...Hmmm...yeah. My boss will just LOVE that.

Go...pound...sand

[Dips]

Heh. One time I dealt with someone who refused to be specific, the SC ended up spending $700 getting the wrong thing.

As far as I know they still haven't returned it.

[myswtghst]

I get the same basic calls all the time at work. People who want to get a unit repaired but they don't know what it is, where it is, the serial number, or even what's wrong with it. Then they get frustrated when I tell them I need that information to set up the request.

Also, I got a woman on the line a few weeks back who made my blood boil. Arrgh. I work in a technical dispatch call center--meaning, you have trouble with your equipment (radios, infrastructure, etc), you call us, we get the info, then we dispatch a shop/tech/etc to your site to fix it. Most of our customers are police/fire/911 dispatch/etc, so pretty important to keep their equipment up, be time efficient, right? Meh. This woman calls in and flat out refuses to give me her name. Pitches a hissy fit, even though I try to explain that I need to record who reported the issue. We can put in a secondary contact if she doesn't want to be bothered, but I HAVE TO OPEN THE CASE USING SOMEONE'S NAME. It's just how the system works. I write down all the other info that she gives me, including her first name (she finally let it slip) and, as she requested, put her on with a supervisor. I put the call on mute, and while she told him just how awful I was, I found her in the system, created the case and put all the info in, then popped back on line to give her the case number. I felt so satisfied, and it only got better when the sup congratulated me for staying calm and getting the case created, even though the woman was being impossible.

Why is it so hard to realize that I'm not asking these questions for my own health or amusement, but that they may actually help me help you faster?

[Gurndigarn]

Anywhere there are customers, there will be such conversations.

SC: I need to upgrade my compuer.
Me: What kind of upgrade? RAM? Hard drive? Video card?
SC: Nah, just an upgrade.
Me: I need to know what kind of upgrade you want before I can make any recommendations.
SC: I just need an UPGRADE! Y'know. Whatever makes it faster.
Me: Probably RAM, then. Do you have a desktop or laptop?
SC: Does that matter?
Me: Yes. Yes it does.
SC: It's a desktop. A Dell.
Me: Okay. Now we just need to know what size and speed of RAM will work best in your system.
SC: Why is this so HARD for you? Do you even work in this department? I just need an UPGRADE to make it FASTER!
Me: If we get the wrong size or type of RAM, it won't work and may even cause damage to your computer.
SC: Oh. Well, it's a Dell. Does that help?

"Yes. What it means is that you need a new computer. Have you tried...?"

[SnapAddict218]

Me: What version of Windows do you have?
SC: (blows up) I don't know! Stop asking me stupid questions, I just need your software!
Me: I can't help you unless I know what version of Windows you have.
SC: Rant, rave, finally follow directions to find out what version
Me: Oh no, you don't have the right updates (Windows XP, but she didn't have any service packs installed, and we need those)
SC: I'm going to download it anyway! You're useless! *click*

HEY!!!! Maybe we need to fix her up with Mr. Volcano!!!!!! They both seem to hate stupid questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[purplecat41877]

HEY!!!! Maybe we need to fix her up with Mr. Volcano!!!!!! They both seem to hate stupid questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I can picture the wedding. It would probably go something like this.

Minister: Do you wish to be married?

Mr. Volcanic: Just pronounce us husband and wife!

SC: Don't ask us stupid questions.

Minister: I now pronounce you husband and wife.

(SC and Mr. Volcanic kiss. Then they rush out of the room while holding hands.)

[ArenaBoy]

Sadly, I get these situations in a parking lot.

"Hello sir, I can assist you in finding a spot."
"I have a pass!"
"What kind of pass is it? Is it regular, suite, VIP, or club?"
"I just have a pass!"
"If you show me the pass, you might be able to get a closer spot."
"I don't care about that, I just have a pass and I want to park!"
"Just show me the pass, and you can move on."

Eventually they show it or they keep arguing.

[Lehk]

HEY!!!! Maybe we need to fix her up with Mr. Volcano!!!!!! They both seem to hate stupid questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

or toss her in a real volcano

[Gravekeeper]

HEY!!!! Maybe we need to fix her up with Mr. Volcano!!!!!! They both seem to hate stupid questions!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Absolutely not, unless you intend to spay and neuter them first. We don't need them breeding. ><

[AFpheonix]

Minister: Do you wish to be married?

Mr. Volcanic: Just pronounce us husband and wife!

SC: Don't ask us stupid questions.

Minister: I now pronounce you husband and wife.

Please tell me I wasn't the only one with "Wuv, twooooo wuv...." going through my brain....