An Annoying Person's Guide to Asking Effective Questions

[Mnemjian]

Here are a few tips for SC's who want to ask a question at the bookstore. When asking a question, sometimes elaborating on it can make the person understand your question better. However, sometimes it is totally unnecessary and frankly boring. Understanding the difference is a good way to not be an annoying SC!


WRONG: Do you have this book? It's called (title) and it's by (author). It's this green book, oh, um I think it's a paperback? My friend said it was a really good book and I wanted to read it and now that I'm going to take a vacation soon I'll have some time to read it but I went to the other bookstore and they didn't have it. Well they had it but it was a new copy and I didn't want to pay the full price so I thought I would see if you had it before I went and paid full price!

RIGHT: Do you have (title) by (author)? [END QUESTION]


WRONG: Can you help me find a book? Like do you have a computer system where you can just type the title in and it tells you if the book is in the store? Or do I have to just go and look around for the book and try and find it myself? I'm actually kind of in a hurry and I don't want to waste too much time. I have to be at the dentist's office by one and the receptionist there is always so mean if I'm late. She gives me a dirty look and I'm like, geez! I was just a minute or two late last time! So I don't want to be late this time but I still want this book so can you just help me find it or tell me if you have it in?

RIGHT: Can you help me find a book? [STOP TALKING NOW]


WRONG: Do you buy books here? Or do you just trade them? I have some books but I don't think I want to get trade credit, I would only want to sell them for money. I know the other book store only does trade credit so I don't want to take my books there because I'm actually moving so I can't really use any more books. I have maybe 100 books and they're mostly paperback novels by Nora Roberts. I love her so much! I really don't want to get rid of them but books are so heavy to move and I've already read them so I might as well just get some cash for them. Can I bring them in to you or do I have to make an appointment? I'm actually not available this week but maybe next week or the week after...

RIGHT: Do you buy books here? [CLOSE PIE HOLE]


WRONG: Are y'all hiring right now? I just moved here and I really need a job. No places are hiring! I walked by a bookstore once last year so I feel I'm very qualified. Are you the hiring manager or should I talk to someone else? I'm actually available any time except for Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday. Here's my resume and my head shot.

RIGHT: Are you hiring? [alternatively, "It is obvious to me that you are not hiring because there is no 'help wanted' sign in the window or on Craigslist and never has been, so I will leave now, although I will leave my resume if you don't mind. Thank you and have a nice day."]


WRONG: Have you read this book? It's so super great! I read it last year and I really liked it. I had just read "Winnie the Pooh" and it really blew my mind. I don't know if you've heard of it. It's pretty obscure. It was just like so heavy man. But I knew I had to challenge myself so a few months later I decided to read "Walter the Farting Dog." I just really got into all the ideas and the images that the author was painting with his WORDS man. It was so mind-expanding. I really learned a lot about myself and about the earth. It's like the earth wants us to BREATHE, man. You know what I mean? Do you KNOW what I MEAN? You know what I mean. I see you have customers waiting for your help but they can WAIT! We are having a deep philosophical discussion and that's what life is about! Don't let money get you down! Money is like... it's like the chains of oppression! That's what A. A. Milne was trying to say! You know what I mean!

RIGHT: Have you read this book? [IF ENSUING CONVERSATION IS ONE-SIDED AND EGO-STROKING, LEAVE RIGHT NOW. OTHERWISE... MAYBE]


Hopefully this handy guide will help annoying SC's to leave me alone so I can work! Here's hoping!

[Mondestrucken]

You don't know how many times I have wanted to say to a customer, "I need to know if you live at the same address. I don't need to know what you ate for breakfast." (In other words, just shut up. Please.)

[Mr Hero]

I get a varient of the questions.

Wrong
Do you have any rooms available? I tried to to book at other hotels but they're all full. I'm going to be in town visiting some family and then we're going to go out to breakfast in the morning.

RightDo you have rooms available for X date for Y nights?

[Mondestrucken]

Personally, my sister and I always hark back to the end of the movie, "Take the Money and Run," where the guy who witnessed Woody Allen being arrested at the end (the guy who is helpfully identified as 'cretin') keeps harping on the details of his breakfast that morning.

Cretin: "I remember now! It was grapefruit juice."
Interviewer: "Forget about your breakfast! What happened when he was arrested?"

So when I describe to my sister some blatherer I had to deal with, she will yell, "It wasn't tomato juice! I'm pretty sure it was some kind of citrus juice!"

[morwynskya]

I, too, labor as seller of books. Frequently I think of Grandpa Simpson and his "tied an onion to my belt" story when I get one of those unnecessarily long-winded monologues. I kind of zone out with a slight smile on my face. My partner says it looks borderline creepy.

[Teskeria]

I, too, labor as seller of books. Frequently I think of Grandpa Simpson and his "tied an onion to my belt" story when I get one of those unnecessarily long-winded monologues. I kind of zone out with a slight smile on my face. My partner says it looks borderline creepy.

Only borderline? you need to work on it some more. you want 'seriously creepy' that may make them edge away quickly and let you be.

[Jester]

RIGHT: Are you hiring? [alternatively, "It is obvious to me that you are not hiring because there is no 'help wanted' sign in the window or on Craigslist and never has been, so I will leave now, although I will leave my resume if you don't mind. Thank you and have a nice day."]

I am going to have to point out that many places do not put out "help wanted" signs when they are, in fact, hiring. I know my bar has hired many people since I've worked there, and not once have we put out a "help wanted" sign. Nor has any restaurant I have ever worked for, to my memory. If we have an opening, the management will review the applications, make some calls, do some interviews, and someone will be hired. Occasionally, someone will walk in and apply at just the right time, i.e., after someone has quit, given notice, or been fired. That is actually how I got my job there....I walked in and applied the day after they fired someone.

So no, it is not "obvious" that a place is not hiring merely because they do not have one of those handy dandy "help wanted" signs in their window.

Just saying.

[TheMike]

we never use "help wanted" signs either.. just collect resumes till we need 'em

and if you think someone blathering on about how good a book was, just try listening when they're talking that way about "adult movies" especiall in a genre you don't .. ahem "subscribe too."

[EricKei]

I am going to have to point out that many places do not put out "help wanted" signs when they are, in fact, hiring.

GameStore is one such place. Typical week is 40+ scrawled applications. During the holidays, try 200 a week. At a store that employs maybe 6 part-timers and three managers.

[chainedbarista]

But I knew I had to challenge myself so a few months later I decided to read "Walter the Farting Dog."

a spine chilling thriller he/she just couldn't put down. READ IT NOW.

[Food Lady]

I get this when I ask if they have coupons, But they always answer as to why they don't. One woman brought her sister into it, but I have no idea what she was saying, 'cause I'd almost tuned her out.

[Peppergirl]

Wrong: "Hi! This is Marjorie Smith from Douchebag corporation and I just got an email from my boss, asking me if I can go to Kansas City on Tuesday to finish the project for Douchebag's anonymous. I had to check with my co-worker to see if she could sit in on my local meetings this week, and she had to check with her babysitter. She finally just called me back and said yes, she found someone to watch her kids. That means she can now cover my evening meetings here in town, so now I need to book a flight reservation."

Right: "Hi. This is Marjorie Smith from Douchebag corporation. I need to book a reservation."

STFU about everything else. Seriously. I don't freakin' care!

[blas]

Right around the time I transferred departments at work, a new temp was hired who is a "life story" type of person, and he drives almost everyone a little nuts.

He can't simply ask for a hand lifting something or help with what to do next.....everything is a long drawn out story or explanation.

[Andara Bledin]

I have co-irkers who try to give me their life's story any time they need me to help them do something.

WRONG: Hi, I just sat down at my computer and tried to use it but it's not doing what it's supposed to be doing so could you come over and do this, that, and the other so that when I try to do routine function it works.

RIGHT: Hi, can you make it so that my machine will let me do routine function again?

^-.-^

[Mr Hero]

I, too, labor as seller of books. Frequently I think of Grandpa Simpson and his "tied an onion to my belt" story when I get one of those unnecessarily long-winded monologues.

Which was the style at the time.