What's the difference....?

[HYHYBT]

The other day, I asked a customer whether they wanted medium or large. They asked "What's the difference?". Not knowing how else to answer such a question without using words like "dumbass" I simply said "The size" and they were happy enough with that response.

Now, many incarnations ago on this very site, there was a thread collecting such stupid uses of that question, and this seemed like a good opportunity to restart it. So... any good ones?

[BusBus]

"How much is this?"...with the big price tag hanging off the garment in an obvious fashion.

[BookstoreEscapee]

2 books: one is mass market, the other is trade paperback. They have the exact same cover and the exact same commentary on the back. They are both clearly marked with the price.

"What's the difference?"

Um, the size and the price...

Or, 2 books: one is hardcover, regular price. the other is the same exact book, hardcover, in the bargain section (yes this happens, sometimes with trade paperbacks too, and it is a pain in the ass when the bargain loses its sticker).

"What's the difference?"

Um, the price...oh, and this one comes with a pretty red and white sticker on the front...

[ReadyToRetire]

"What size ribeye steaks do you have?"

6, 9, 12 and 16 ounce.

"Which one's bigger?"


And I've gotten this on more than one occassion.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Now I used to get questions alot in the computer business. When faced with a 1.8 GHz and a 2.2 GHz computer I'll get asked which one is faster. I don't mind since I'm aware that not everyone is savy with the numbers on the computers and they can get confusing.

But the one that I hate was this.

I had on display in the glass case an Athlon 3200 in full retail box and an Athlon 3200 OEM. Customer asked what was the difference. I explained that the difference was that the retail package was price 'a' and came with a three year warranty and a heatsink/fan module while the other was price 'b' ($75 cheaper) only had a 30 day warranty, and you had to supply the heatsink/fan.

SC - The raison d’être for this site
Me - 'Allo!

SC - So...which one is faster?
Me - Neither, they are both 3200's
SC - but one is cheaper. It must be slower.
Me - No, one is cheaper since you aren't paying for the package, the 3 year warranty and you have to supply your own heatsink
SC - Well that's stupid. Why would anyone do that?
Me - Some people don't care about the warranty since these suckers rarely fail (true...the CPU is the least likely part to fail first in a PC) and they don't like the heatsink that comes with the boxed unit preferring better ones like this one over here.
SC - You're full of it. Nobody does that. That cheaper must be slower or it wouldn't have the lower price. You're trying to screw me over. I'm going to complain to the BBB. You'll hear from my lawyer!

And he left.

[digilight]

The other day, I asked a customer whether they wanted medium or large. They asked "What's the difference?".

My favorite answer (for some reason my family likes asking stupid questions) would be "oh about 40 cents.

[Jet]

"I have 3,7,14,25 and 50 foot Ethernet cables." "How long is the 25 foot cable?" "Um, 25 feet?" "Ok, well how long is the 50 foot cable?"

[Drakstern]

Personal favorite:

SC: What's in this chicken broth?

Me: ...chicken... broth? And some sodium?

SC: Oh.

[toolbert]

Right now we're selling 4 colors of the unlocked 680 phone. They all retail at $399 and I always make that clear at the start. So of course, I get this lovely customer...

SC: So, how much are the 680s now?
Me: Well, the unlocked ones are $399 and come in these colors. If you want a Cingular specific one its $449.
SC: So how much is the red one?
Me: Its $399, as are the White, Silver and Copper versions. (I knew what was next)
SC: So how about the Orange one, how much is that?
Me: >.>....$399.
SC: and the Whi...
Me: $399, they're all $399 but the Cingular one.
SC: You mean the Silver unlocked is the same price?
Me: ::sigh:: Yes (wash, rinse, repeat)

Sadly, this conversation happens at least 5 times a week...

[ahanix1989]

"We have the 12-piece bucket for $11.69, or the 12-piece family meal, which includes 24 wedges and 8 dinner rolls for $15.49"
"Which one is cheaper?"

[walking with scissors]

Me: "I'm on the fourth floor."

Him: "What floor is that on?"

[ISellCars]

Me: Well, here are some of the cars I have in stock. Those two over there are the exact same, just one's silver and one is gray.

SC: So what's the difference?

Me: The color. You see... this one is silver, and that one is gray.

SC: What's the price of the silver one?

Me: $21,995

SC: Okay, what about the gray one?

Me: $21,995

SC: So what's the difference? Why are they priced the same?

Me: Here's a shotgun, hold on real quick let me get you some shells.....

[AFpheonix]

Me: Ok, if you buy this vitamin with fluoride on your insurance, you can only get a 30 day supply at a time, and pay a copay of $8 per fill. However, if you want, I can get it ready for 100 tablets without going through your insurance for $12.99 total.

Numbnut: Wait, I don't get it. I want to use my insurance!

Me: Well, you can, but you'll be paying more than double in the cost of the copays plus having to come here every month instead of once every 100 days. Are you sure you don't want me to just do the 100 count?

Numbnut: Duuuurrrrr....No, I want to go through insurance!

Me: ok, suit yourself, if you want to spend a lot more than you have to....

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

SC: So what's the difference? Why are they priced the same?

Me: Here's a shotgun, hold on real quick let me get you some shells.....

Just another person to add to the list of "People we'd like to see perform felatio on a Baretta" list.

M

[Mr. Rude]

Me - Some people don't care about the warranty since these suckers rarely fail (true...the CPU is the least likely part to fail first in a PC) and they don't like the heatsink that comes with the boxed unit preferring better ones like this one over here.
SC - You're full of it. Nobody does that. That cheaper must be slower or it wouldn't have the lower price. You're trying to screw me over. I'm going to complain to the BBB. You'll hear from my lawyer!

And he left.

*Takes spare heatsink/fan & chucks it SC's head as they stomp out*

...Ahhhh.....better...

And, when I get asked questions that are PAINFULLY obvious, I now let....dead silence....Be my response. I love to listen to the sound of a small brained, slack jawed, mouthbreathing git figure out just how stupid thier question really is.