There's only a few of us on graveyard shift, but late at night we get a lot of live ones. We also have some regular 'customers'...people who try to place fraudulent orders at night for some reason...thinking that maybe since it's 2AM and not 2 in the afternoon, they'll somehow get through.
These are the people who will call...and call...and call again, giving us different cards numbers or checking accounts each time.
Well tonight we got ourselves a new 'regular'...we'll call her Alicia. At least that was one of the names she gave us. She spoke to all six people in the department at least twice...yes, that's how many times she called. She kept trying to use this credit card, and claimed it was hers. So we called the bank, and she couldn't verify anything on the account according to the bank rep. (You know, like Mother's maiden name? Billing address? Correct spelling of 'your' name?) We told her we couldn't help her and she threw a fit and kept calling for more than an hour.
Here's a few highlights from 'Alicia's' experience with us, overheard on the floor. Note: These are all parts of different conversations, said by various reps.
'You originally said it was your credit card.
So now why are you claiming it is your sister's card? You were confused? Well so am I. Having a card is like being pregnant. It's either your card, or it isn't. There is no such thing as 'sort of'.
'You originally told me it was your card, which is why I called the bank for you. Yes, you did! Yes, I *am* calling you a liar. I remember exactly what you told me.'
'No, I did not say you were illiterate, ma'am.'*rep hits mute and mutters* What you are is a fricking moron!
'You'll need to go to a store and purchase minutes over the counter, ma'am. No, you cannot place orders over the phone. Because you didn't pass our verification process. No, ma'am, you did not. I've got all the notes from all the people you have spoken with tonight., and not once during all that time did you pass. Oh, so apparently all of them are lying? No I don't think so. You CANNOT place any more orders with us...Now please stop calling.'
'I don't care if you don't want to go to the store, you will not bully me into giving you minutes!'
'No, ma'am, you are not calling from that phone. We have caller ID and I can see exactly what phone you're calling from. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Ma'am, this discussion is getting us nowhere. I am disconnecting this call now.' *to the other reps* She called me a cracker ass ho! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
'Ma'am, there is nothing further we can do for you. Oh, really? And who is that? Yes, you said that. What's his name? Ma'am, I know exactly who the attorney general is. You can threaten to sick him on us, but given the fact that you don't even know what his name is, I doubt you'll get much attention from him.'

Well tonight we got ourselves a new 'regular'...we'll call her Alicia. At least that was one of the names she gave us. She spoke to all six people in the department at least twice...yes, that's how many times she called. She kept trying to use this credit card, and claimed it was hers. So we called the bank, and she couldn't verify anything on the account according to the bank rep. (You know, like Mother's maiden name? Billing address? Correct spelling of 'your' name?) We told her we couldn't help her and she threw a fit and kept calling for more than an hour.
Here's a few highlights from 'Alicia's' experience with us, overheard on the floor. Note: These are all parts of different conversations, said by various reps.
'You originally said it was your credit card.
So now why are you claiming it is your sister's card? You were confused? Well so am I. Having a card is like being pregnant. It's either your card, or it isn't. There is no such thing as 'sort of'.
'You originally told me it was your card, which is why I called the bank for you. Yes, you did! Yes, I *am* calling you a liar. I remember exactly what you told me.'
'No, I did not say you were illiterate, ma'am.'*rep hits mute and mutters* What you are is a fricking moron!
'You'll need to go to a store and purchase minutes over the counter, ma'am. No, you cannot place orders over the phone. Because you didn't pass our verification process. No, ma'am, you did not. I've got all the notes from all the people you have spoken with tonight., and not once during all that time did you pass. Oh, so apparently all of them are lying? No I don't think so. You CANNOT place any more orders with us...Now please stop calling.'
'I don't care if you don't want to go to the store, you will not bully me into giving you minutes!'
'No, ma'am, you are not calling from that phone. We have caller ID and I can see exactly what phone you're calling from. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Ma'am, this discussion is getting us nowhere. I am disconnecting this call now.' *to the other reps* She called me a cracker ass ho! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!
'Ma'am, there is nothing further we can do for you. Oh, really? And who is that? Yes, you said that. What's his name? Ma'am, I know exactly who the attorney general is. You can threaten to sick him on us, but given the fact that you don't even know what his name is, I doubt you'll get much attention from him.'
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