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From Here To Eternity (Or, The Not So Glorious Holes) And Other Stories. [GROSS]

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  • From Here To Eternity (Or, The Not So Glorious Holes) And Other Stories. [GROSS]

    First time I've used the NSFW tag. AND it is quite gross. You HAVE been warned.

    Three tales from my Aid of Rite today. I think I will start with the least dramatic, going up to the most.

    Playing On Sympathy

    A girl about 25 ish comes in, strung out on something already-twitchy, huffy, incapable of being still. She goes to the pharmacy and begs for needles. Pharmacist refuses because girl does not have ID and she's already high as a kite. Girl goes to random guy a few aisles down and makes up a sob story to the tech about her daughter being diabetic and not having ID and the evil pharmacist will not give me my needles to save my little girl's life. Guy shows his ID, gets the needles, give it to girl. Girl sits in parking lot in her car shooting up and tossing the needles out the window.

    "Prescription? What Prescription?"

    Scudzy older guy with long stringy hair, dirty, stained, torn clothes and a cane came into my store and asked me to call him a cab. I do and he goes to the pharmacy to wait. When his turn is called and he's paying for his $300+ worth of prescriptions, his credit and debit card are refused and so are the checks he made out. He bargains with pharmacist and gets the essentials he needed, about $80. As tech is processing the scripts, she made the mistake of putting it near Scudzy guy. Scudzy guy grabs the bag and books it as fast as he can with a limp, into the waiting cab and heads off. Police are called, information about the guy is given and the police show up at his house. Scudzy guy says "Oh, I wasn't there today." Unfortunately for us, we can't give the tape to the police since only LP agents are allowed to do that. So he essentially got away with $80 of prescriptions.

    And now the story you've all been waiting for.

    From Here To Eternity; Or, The Not So Glorious Holes

    Guy, I'd say 70ish came in with a roll of film and asked if we could process it. "Sure," I say. "I can ask if the photo lab is running today." Cashier N says she will do it and guy says to me as he's filling out the form. "Oh, there might be a few pictures you might need to delete off that roll of film. Heh heh heh." I think to myself, Hm...ok. That laugh sounds a little weird but maybe it's just the usual blurry pictures or fingers in the frame or whatnot.

    15 minutes later.

    "I need S1 to photo please." N cannot stop snickering.

    I'm passing by. "What's so funny?"

    "You might want to see this ralerin."

    So we all gather around the screen. Almost the entire roll of film was filled with photos of the guy's wife, also 70ish. Silly me thought the guy had taken a few photos of his dog's asscrack for some reason. As I got closer I saw I was horribly mistaken.

    The guy had taken photos of his wife naked from every possible angle. The camera captured, in full, picturesque detail, every last nuance and bit of wrinkly, pale, pasty, senior skin around his wife's anus and vagina while she posed in doggy style pose. And to make matters better, he had placed the camera inside said anus and vagina and gotten photos of her colon and her cervix. We saw wrinkly sagging boobs as well, plenty of those. Her face was not shown, thankfully.

    "What the fuck." S1 says.

    "*snickering*" N says.

    "*horrified gasp* Seriously?" I say.

    N prints the photos anyway. It's early on a Sunday and there's not many people around and N cannot stop snickering. She wraps the photos neatly and the guy comes back in an hour to pick them up. Guy comes in smelling like a combination of fish and sex. I ring up his photos, trying to keep the horrified amusement off my face.

    "Oh, by the way," guy asks. "Do you sell Christmas cards that have holders for photos on them?"

    "...No, the closest equivalent we have are the fancy USB cards, but you'd need a computer to put your photos on that."

    "Oh, ok." He paid and left.
    Success is not final, failure is not fatal: It is the courage to continue that counts.-Winston Churchill

  • #2
    You're actually allowed to process those types of pictures? When I used to help out in the photo lab at The Bullseye, I thought I remember being told that we could not process any type of pornographic photos. Perhaps it's only a state law or corporate policy, though.

    Also... gross! I mean, good for them for still having fun with each other and all that, but no one else needs to be witness to it. They really need to invest in a digital camera and a home printer to print those things off themselves.

    "So, let's build a snowman! We can make him our best friend. We can name him Bob or we can name him Beowulf! We can make him tall, or we can make him not so tall!"

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    • #3
      My reaction to that last one can only be expressed by this:
      When you start at zero, everything's progress.

      Comment


      • #4
        Couldn't the police check with the cab company and verify that he was, indeed, picked up from your store?
        The Case of the Missing Mandrake; A Jude Derry, Sorceress Sleuth Mystery Available on Amazon.

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        • #5
          Why didn't the manager get LP into the store asap so the cops could prosecute the SOB?

          As for the final story: pass the brain bleach.
          They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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          • #6
            That policy from the Bullseye, that ExRD relates, may (whether corp policy or law) be due to the possibility of the general public being able to see the pics as they come out of the machine. I remember seeing at least one 30/60 minute processing place that had their equipment in the front window of the store, in full view of passersby.

            At the photo place where I worked, we were one of several of the company's retail stores, and customers dropped off their film with us, we sent it to our central lab for processing, and they sent the pics back to our store. Our policy was to develop any roll of film our lab was capable of, as long at it didn't involve child pr0n.




            As far as the nekkid pics of that woman? I dunno, I might not have minded seeing them.















            If they were taken of her 45 or 50 years ago!



            Mike
            Meow.........

            Comment


            • #7
              The last story:

              Yes, it's gross that he took the pictures and expected you to develop them, but I think it's great that he and his wife are still getting it on and in to each other.
              Labor boards have info on local laws for free
              HR believes the first person in the door
              Learn how to go over whackamole bosses' heads safely
              Document everything
              CS proves Dunning-Kruger effect

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              • #8
                On the first story - did someone think to call the police and/or paramedics on the girl? Using drugs in the parking lot sounds like something she should be arrested for and taking MORE when she's already strung out sounds like a good road to overdosing and needing first aid.

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                • #9
                  Quoth wagegoth View Post
                  The last story:

                  Yes, it's gross that he took the pictures and expected you to develop them, but I think it's great that he and his wife are still getting it on and in to each other.
                  True....it's good they can and a little kink never hurt anyone...but INSIDE these um...holes? Really? That's just nasty.
                  https://www.youtube.com/user/HedgeTV
                  Great YouTube channel check it out!

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                  • #10
                    Quoth telecom_goddess View Post
                    True....it's good they can and a little kink never hurt anyone...but INSIDE these um...holes? Really? That's just nasty.
                    I suppose I'm going to hell, but I'm wondering how he got the light right .

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                    • #11
                      Some things are better left unknown

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                      • #12
                        I'm so very glad I'm not on that guy's Christmas card list.
                        Knowledge is power. Power corrupts. Study hard. Be evil.

                        "I never said I wasn't a horrible person."--Me, almost daily

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                        • #13
                          Quoth Irving Patrick Freleigh View Post
                          I'm so very glad I'm not on that guy's Christmas card list.
                          ....along with the accompanying Christmas Letter;


                          "We've had a very fun and active year! George has continued his hobby of spelunking...."


                          Mike
                          Meow.........

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                          • #14
                            Quoth Mikkel View Post
                            I suppose I'm going to hell, but I'm wondering how he got the light right .
                            In the goodle daze we used flashcubes...
                            I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
                            Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
                            Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.

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                            • #15
                              Sounds gross, but I would not have thought it should be illegal at all.

                              However, we have digi cams for a reason.

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