I'm a close personal friend of...

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

...the manager.

Don't y'all jes hate that phrase?

Had a person call up the store looking to speak to the manager.

MB - Moron Boy
Me - Yours truly

MB - I want to speak to the manager. I have a complaint about the way one of the tech treated me.

Me - I can help you

MB - No you can't. I need to speak to the manager now. One of the techs just called me and left a message on my machine agout my computer being overrun with viruses and that you have to wipe the computer completly out. That's not right and he has no authority to do that. I spent years taking all those photos and downloading those MP3's

Me - (now remembering the call that *I* made to him about his computer) Sir, the tech would not wipe out the computer without talking to you and explaining first. Plus he would first back up and clean everything first before doing the wipe. (I have a whole procedure for recovering from a virus infection that is 100% effective and saves all the customer's data with the exception of any infected files) I can...

MB - Listen you little pissant! I want to speak to Mongo Skruddgemire the manager of the store and not you. You don't know what you're talking about. He knows what's going on and only he can straighten you [censored]suckers out. He's a close personal friend of mine.

Me - Let me see if I can get him for you. (putting the guy on hold for 30 seconds) I told him what you told me and he said friend or no friend you'd have to some in and talk to him face to face since he doesn't stand for people abusing his staff like that. Good day and I hung up on him.

Fifteen minutes later and he pops into the store demanding to speak to the manager and the guy who hung up on him.

Me - I can help you Si...

MB - I KNOW YOUR VOICE! YOU'RE THE BASTARD WHO HUNG UP ON ME! I WANT TO SPEAK TO MONGO NOW!

Me - (pulling my driver's license out of my wallet and showing it to him) I'm Mongo, I'm the manager who doesn't know you above and beyond the 5 minute conversation we had when I dropped off the computer, I'm the tech who called and left the message about your computer, I'm the [censored]sucking pissant that tried to help you on the phone 15 minutes ago and my parents were legally married at the time of my birth. Now would you like me to go over the options on how we can get your computer working like it's supposed to without losing your data?

MB - (stunned silence)

The only punishment I got from my boss (the owner) was a wet-noodle slap on the wrist and a statement that "You really shouldn't do that too often you know."

Mongo

[friendofjimmyk]

Yeah, that would be a big 'ol BOO-YA!

[Boozy]

Well played. You gave him just enough rope to hang himself with.
Great story.

[Becks]

Mongo, I you!!!!!!!

[digilight]

I'm just waiting for the day that someone tries that at my shop. You see, I own the company, I also have no employee's. Yeah I'm an asshole and I don't think that others should be subjected to me : ) actually I just don't want to deal with labor laws and payroll and would rather put in the time myself. But I don't advertise the fact that I'm the owner, I don't advertise the fact that I'm a one man show, and most people have idea that I'm anything more then a counter monkey running the machines. It's beautiful.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Does anyone actually refer to their friends as "my close personal friend"? If I say that phrase I'm being sarcastic... My friends are just, well, "my friend" .... And they're all far away and impersonal, quite frankly...

[ToasterQueen]

I just have one thing to say.

OWNED.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Does anyone actually refer to their friends as "my close personal friend"? If I say that phrase I'm being sarcastic... My friends are just, well, "my friend" .... And they're all far away and impersonal, quite frankly...

Why no. No I don't.

However, I used to work with a guy who referred to---errr, ummm--a certain part of his body that way.

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

Why no. No I don't.

However, I used to work with a guy who referred to---errr, ummm--a certain part of his body that way.

Please for the love of God and Goddess don't go there.

<shudder> <Twitch> <shudder>



M

[karma_gypsy]

MB - Listen you little pissant! I want to speak to Mongo Skruddgemire the manager of the store and not you. You don't know what you're talking about. He knows what's going on and only he can straighten you [censored]suckers out. He's a close personal friend of mine.

O.k., two things . . .

1. That was freakin' sweet!

2. Where was this guy goin' with this whole "I'm the manager's close & personal friend" deal? Was he expecting a discount or what?

[AFpheonix]

I think the only thing that would make that better would be to hand him his tower back and say something like, "And since I am a stupid blank-sucker, I simply don't know what to do with this thing besides use it as a paperweight or a boat anchor, so I suppose you should take it elsewhere."

But then, I'm turning into rather a bitch these days.....

[Mongo Skruddgemire]

2. Where was this guy goin' with this whole "I'm the manager's close & personal friend" deal? Was he expecting a discount or what?

The problem is that most of my customers didn't want to hear the news about having to wipe and reload their computer since they think that they are going to lose everything.

I try to explain that my process preserves all the data and they will not lose any of their pictures or their music or anything.

He was screaming for the manager because he freaked out and didn't want to lose his data even though I explained in my message to his voice mail that "Due to the damage, the only option will be to back up all your data, wipe and reload the computer and restore your data."

I say it so bloody often that I feel like the Emergency Medical Hologram from Star Trek Voyager. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

Mongo

[Sofar]

I'm just waiting for the day that someone tries that at my shop. You see, I own the company, I also have no employee's. Yeah I'm an asshole and I don't think that others should be subjected to me : ) actually I just don't want to deal with labor laws and payroll and would rather put in the time myself. But I don't advertise the fact that I'm the owner, I don't advertise the fact that I'm a one man show, and most people have idea that I'm anything more then a counter monkey running the machines. It's beautiful.

Boss-Man does the same thing. We have five employees at my restaurant, only two of them including me know how to open, close, and operate the register, and one of them carn't be allowed to work night shift because he leaves the place a mess when he leaves. The other three are cooks, and we usually only have one of them on per shift. So four or five shifts a week Boss-Man is manning the register. And of course people see the long hair and the Che Guevara tee-shirt and hear the three or four dudes per sentence and feel free to abuse this wage-slave, and surprise he owns this place, em-effer.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Why no. No I don't.

However, I used to work with a guy who referred to---errr, ummm--a certain part of his body that way.

A little too close and personal for my taste, thank you...

[Jester]

I have gotten this occasionally at the waterfront bar and people who are "close personal friends" of the owners.

Problem is, anyone who IS a close personal friend of the owners would never say so, and would not cause problems in the bar. Because Boss Woman doesn't allow such nonsense. And Boss Man lets Boss Woman run the bar, as she is very very good at it. I dare say there are people that don't even know he exists. Boss Woman is far more out there and visible in the day to day of the bar. Basically, any time someone claims they are a close personal friend of Boss Woman, we know they are lying. No one has bothered saying they are a close personal friend of Boss Man yet.