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I know, I know, it’s because they are SCs and it’s in their nature. And yet it still perplexes me…
I work in a leasing office for an apartment complex. People are allowed to have dogs and cats, but they must report them to the office and get them approved (so we can make sure they aren’t aggressive breeds nixed by our insurance company), pay a pet deposit, and sign a one-page agreement to pay pet rent.
If someone does get a dog/cat and does not report it and we find out, we send them a notice that basically says they have ten days to communicate with the office, at which time we set a deadline for them to either get rid of the pet or sign the agreement and pay the deposit, which we are even nice enough to break up over a few months if people need it. Yes, the notice is worded in a somewhat scary fashion because it’s a standard legal form used by the American Multihousing Association.
One special snowflake who recently received a pet compliance notice called the office in a rage because:
1) He only had the dog for TWO WEEKS before we sent the mean old notice, how rude!
2) The pet deposit is $300, that’s just outrageous!
3) His apartment got burglarized and we did NOTHING to compensate him except give him a lousy discount on one utility bill [it happened many moons ago and he still makes this complaint every time he calls the office for anything]!
My response, though worded more diplomatically:
1) That was TWO WEEKS that you were in material breach of your lease agreement, douchebag. How long were we supposed to wait before asking you to fulfill the binding legal agreement you signed?
2) The deposit is lower than most properties and covers up to two pets. I toured places where they want $400 for EACH of my two cats. Nonetheless, if you knew what the pet deposit was and find it to be so outrageous, why the hell did you decide to get a dog?
3) As has been explained to you by myself and the property manager many, many, many times, OUR LIABILITY INSURANCE DOES NOT COVER YOUR PERSONAL SHIT. It was verbally explained at least twice when you moved in and is additionally stated THREE TIMES in your lease documents that we are not responsible for your belongings, including an *entire page*devoted to the issue of renter’s insurance, which we strongly recommend and only costs like $100 a year… but you, sir, initialed a statement that you chose not to get renter’s insurance at your own risk. The manager gave you that “lousy” discount to shut you up and frankly, if I had been the manager, I would not have done even that. Furthermore, the police agree that your apartment was almost certainly burglarized by someone you knew personally. In fact, it is the only burglary we’ve had in the complex since I’ve lived and worked there, and the local police even recommend us to their friends. I’d say we’ve fulfilled our reasonable obligation to keep the property safe.
When I explained things nicely to him – including the fact that the pet deposit was partially refundable, and minus my opinion of his lousy discount as well as the part about the police believing the burglar was an acquaintance – he calmed down and, to his credit, thanked me for being helpful. He didn’t exactly apologize, but got as close to an apology as he can get and explained that he had come out swinging because he was in a bad mood from not having a car all last month and it was a crappy time.
To which I wanted to reply: Perhaps you weren’t aware that I knew this, but you, sir, did not have a car last month because you got your license uber-suspended after your third DUI, chose to drive anyway, and your car was impounded as a consequence when you were caught. But... I just nodded sympathetically, offered my condolences on a lousy month, thanked him for calling and told him to call back if he had any other questions.
How has this person reached adulthood without learning that things that happen to him are a direct result of his own poor choices? How can you spend so many years deluding yourself into thinking that everything bad that happens to you is someone else’s fault? Christ on a pony.
I work in a leasing office for an apartment complex. People are allowed to have dogs and cats, but they must report them to the office and get them approved (so we can make sure they aren’t aggressive breeds nixed by our insurance company), pay a pet deposit, and sign a one-page agreement to pay pet rent.
If someone does get a dog/cat and does not report it and we find out, we send them a notice that basically says they have ten days to communicate with the office, at which time we set a deadline for them to either get rid of the pet or sign the agreement and pay the deposit, which we are even nice enough to break up over a few months if people need it. Yes, the notice is worded in a somewhat scary fashion because it’s a standard legal form used by the American Multihousing Association.
One special snowflake who recently received a pet compliance notice called the office in a rage because:
1) He only had the dog for TWO WEEKS before we sent the mean old notice, how rude!
2) The pet deposit is $300, that’s just outrageous!
3) His apartment got burglarized and we did NOTHING to compensate him except give him a lousy discount on one utility bill [it happened many moons ago and he still makes this complaint every time he calls the office for anything]!
My response, though worded more diplomatically:
1) That was TWO WEEKS that you were in material breach of your lease agreement, douchebag. How long were we supposed to wait before asking you to fulfill the binding legal agreement you signed?
2) The deposit is lower than most properties and covers up to two pets. I toured places where they want $400 for EACH of my two cats. Nonetheless, if you knew what the pet deposit was and find it to be so outrageous, why the hell did you decide to get a dog?
3) As has been explained to you by myself and the property manager many, many, many times, OUR LIABILITY INSURANCE DOES NOT COVER YOUR PERSONAL SHIT. It was verbally explained at least twice when you moved in and is additionally stated THREE TIMES in your lease documents that we are not responsible for your belongings, including an *entire page*devoted to the issue of renter’s insurance, which we strongly recommend and only costs like $100 a year… but you, sir, initialed a statement that you chose not to get renter’s insurance at your own risk. The manager gave you that “lousy” discount to shut you up and frankly, if I had been the manager, I would not have done even that. Furthermore, the police agree that your apartment was almost certainly burglarized by someone you knew personally. In fact, it is the only burglary we’ve had in the complex since I’ve lived and worked there, and the local police even recommend us to their friends. I’d say we’ve fulfilled our reasonable obligation to keep the property safe.
When I explained things nicely to him – including the fact that the pet deposit was partially refundable, and minus my opinion of his lousy discount as well as the part about the police believing the burglar was an acquaintance – he calmed down and, to his credit, thanked me for being helpful. He didn’t exactly apologize, but got as close to an apology as he can get and explained that he had come out swinging because he was in a bad mood from not having a car all last month and it was a crappy time.
To which I wanted to reply: Perhaps you weren’t aware that I knew this, but you, sir, did not have a car last month because you got your license uber-suspended after your third DUI, chose to drive anyway, and your car was impounded as a consequence when you were caught. But... I just nodded sympathetically, offered my condolences on a lousy month, thanked him for calling and told him to call back if he had any other questions.
How has this person reached adulthood without learning that things that happen to him are a direct result of his own poor choices? How can you spend so many years deluding yourself into thinking that everything bad that happens to you is someone else’s fault? Christ on a pony.
You got it all back though if there was no damage.
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