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Some of these are from working roadside assistance or on-rent, some are from my days on reservations. Most are SCs, some are just funny stories. Who doesn’t love a call center?
Me: “Thank you for calling XYZ car rental, how can I help you?”
SC: “I don’t like this compact car I rented. I didn’t know it would be so small.”
Me: “Okay, we have your reservation all set. Do you have a pen ready to jot down your conformation number?”
SC: “Hold on….LATISHA!!! Where the f*ck is my crayon!?!? No, the red one!!”
************************************************** ***************
Me=Me
SC=SC
CA=Counter agent at location
Me: “Thank you for calling XYZ car rental, how can I help you?
CS: “I left something in my car when I returned it.”
Me: “Okay, what item was left in the car?”
SC: “I left my son in the mini-van.” (staying calm this whole time)
Me: “Excuse me?”
SC: “Ummm….yeah”
Me: “Just one second.” (called the loc) “This is roadside at XYZ corporate, I gotta customer on the other line who left his kid in the minivan he just returned.”
CA: “His keys??”
Me: “No his kid…kid…K-I-D?”
CA: (Showing little concern) “Was it a boy or a girl?”
Me: *How many kids are left there every day* “Boy.”
CA: “Hold on. (starts to yell at some poor family at the counter) “HEY!! Is that your
kid?.........OK, sorry. (Back to me) Yeah there’s a kid here but he’s with his parents.”
Me: *omg* “Ok, so do you want to talk to this guy so we can find his son?”
CA: “Oh…well….I guess so”
Me: (Transferred the call)
************************************************** ***************
Sometimes you have to be blunt.
SC: “I just picked up this car and I’m pissed!”
Me: “Okay sir, what seems to be wrong?”
SC: “Well, this was the only car they had, and I have a long way to drive and it only has ¼ tank of fuel.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll note your contract and you can return it with the same amount it had on checkout.”
SC: “But I’ll still only have a ¼ tank of gas. You’re here to help me. What do you suggest I do?!?”
Me: “They were completely out of car?”
SC: “Yes!”
Me: “You have a long trip ahead of you?”
SC: “Yes, and only ¼ tank. What do YOU suggest I do so I can get to where I need to go?!?!”
Me: (Very Blunt) “Put gas in it.”
SC: “Oh….ummm…” *click*
************************************************** ***************
This is a generic version of a type of call we get everyday. When I get a new one that’s worthy (specific details and such) I’ll put it up.
Me: “Thank you for calling XYZ emergency roadside, my name’s roadside how can I help you?”
SC: “I left the keys in the vehicle and the stupid car locked itself (Funny how a car can be stupid, and yet smart enough to lock itself. I’m guessing it’s a self-defense mechanism to try to keep the customer away.)
Me: “Okay, we can set up service but the customer is responsible for the cost of the lockout, or if you have AAA you can call them.
SC: “I don’t see why I should pay. It’s your (insert choice explicative here) car.”
The first 4 lines are actually 2 stories (i was stupid and didn't separate them) I tried to edit but while it was saving it kept stalling out my computer.
Me: “Thank you for calling XYZ car rental, how can I help you?”
SC: “I don’t like this compact car I rented. I didn’t know it would be so small.”
Me: “Okay, we have your reservation all set. Do you have a pen ready to jot down your conformation number?”
SC: “Hold on….LATISHA!!! Where the f*ck is my crayon!?!? No, the red one!!”
************************************************** ***************
Me=Me
SC=SC
CA=Counter agent at location
Me: “Thank you for calling XYZ car rental, how can I help you?
CS: “I left something in my car when I returned it.”
Me: “Okay, what item was left in the car?”
SC: “I left my son in the mini-van.” (staying calm this whole time)
Me: “Excuse me?”
SC: “Ummm….yeah”
Me: “Just one second.” (called the loc) “This is roadside at XYZ corporate, I gotta customer on the other line who left his kid in the minivan he just returned.”
CA: “His keys??”
Me: “No his kid…kid…K-I-D?”
CA: (Showing little concern) “Was it a boy or a girl?”
Me: *How many kids are left there every day* “Boy.”
CA: “Hold on. (starts to yell at some poor family at the counter) “HEY!! Is that your
kid?.........OK, sorry. (Back to me) Yeah there’s a kid here but he’s with his parents.”
Me: *omg* “Ok, so do you want to talk to this guy so we can find his son?”
CA: “Oh…well….I guess so”
Me: (Transferred the call)
************************************************** ***************
Sometimes you have to be blunt.
SC: “I just picked up this car and I’m pissed!”
Me: “Okay sir, what seems to be wrong?”
SC: “Well, this was the only car they had, and I have a long way to drive and it only has ¼ tank of fuel.”
Me: “Okay, I’ll note your contract and you can return it with the same amount it had on checkout.”
SC: “But I’ll still only have a ¼ tank of gas. You’re here to help me. What do you suggest I do?!?”
Me: “They were completely out of car?”
SC: “Yes!”
Me: “You have a long trip ahead of you?”
SC: “Yes, and only ¼ tank. What do YOU suggest I do so I can get to where I need to go?!?!”
Me: (Very Blunt) “Put gas in it.”
SC: “Oh….ummm…” *click*
************************************************** ***************
This is a generic version of a type of call we get everyday. When I get a new one that’s worthy (specific details and such) I’ll put it up.
Me: “Thank you for calling XYZ emergency roadside, my name’s roadside how can I help you?”
SC: “I left the keys in the vehicle and the stupid car locked itself (Funny how a car can be stupid, and yet smart enough to lock itself. I’m guessing it’s a self-defense mechanism to try to keep the customer away.)
Me: “Okay, we can set up service but the customer is responsible for the cost of the lockout, or if you have AAA you can call them.
SC: “I don’t see why I should pay. It’s your (insert choice explicative here) car.”
The first 4 lines are actually 2 stories (i was stupid and didn't separate them) I tried to edit but while it was saving it kept stalling out my computer.
And also remained calm about it. That is one of the scariest things I have ever read! 
Oh. My. Damn. 
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