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I fear I play it the same way I go through real life: Embarrassingly white with an inexplicable attraction to different coloured decks.
I read that as ducks... which lurve swamps... even snow-covered swamps.
I am not an a**hole. I am a hemorrhoid. I irritate a**holes!
Procrastination: Forward planning to insure there is something to do tomorrow.
Derails threads faster than a pocket nuke.
And I have not only seen, but had to use, the gender/sex card.
And had it used against me (falsely. I wasn't being sexist, I was being 'would you flippin' get outta here and let us work'-ist).
Seshat's self-help guide:
1. Would you rather be right, or get the result you want?
2. If you're consistently getting results you don't want, change what you do.
3. Deal with the situation you have now, however it occurred.
4. Accept the consequences of your decisions.
"All I want is a pretty girl, a decent meal, and the right to shoot lightning at fools." - Anders, Dragon Age.
She gets quite irritible with the rep and proceeds to call him a racist asshole. His reply was priceless, Ma'am, I am as black as midnight and if the lights go out you can't see me! She sputtered, tried to say something back and just slammed the phone down!
A beautiful, beautiful smackdown from the rep! Good man!
Of course there are still far too many horribly racist people and (sadly) business practices out there, but this wasn't one of them. Perhaps the stupid woman will think about what racism truly is before trying that line again (I know, i know, but i can hope, can't I?).
A person who is nice to you, but not nice to the waiter is not a nice person
- Dave Barry
Oh, I use it all the time: "You're the man! Kill the damn roach!"
Cue Bill Cosby:
. . . Being a new husband, I had to kill . . . things.
Little things. With a lot of legs. That were harmless, but they crawled.
And I mean, wives are serious about killing these things, man.
"Gyaaaagh!!"
And you come running in, ready to karate anybody. And she says "KILL IT!!" And first of all, you can't find it! You don't know what she's talkin' about, you know? She just pointin' at the floor. "What, kill the floor?" "NO!! THERE!!" And the thing is so frightened, it's frozen in its tracks.
The first thing I killed for my wife was an old roach. With three legs missing. And the thing was trying to make it across the rug, and my wife said "KILL IT!!!!" and the thing tried to go faster. And I didn't have any shoes on. So I said "Wait a minute, I gotta go get my slippers." She said "HURRY UP!!!1!!!eleven!!!"
And I put my slipper on, and I came back and I went splat. And I thought she'd jump on me and say "My hero."
She said, "ew."
Then I became the maintenance man. "Get it out of here! Get it out of here, it's nasty. Take that off my rug." Things become her "my". "My rug. Get it out of my living room. Get it. Kill it. Get it." So you get a piece of tissue and you pick the thing up, and you go to put it in her trash can. And she says "Don't put that thing in the trash can, take it outside." So there you are, walking to the dump. With about 9 other husbands, all of us have tissues and a roach. "Did you kill a roach today?" "Yeah, I killed one too... "
Hah! In MY house we both clean things. But bugs are his responsibility, because he's proved that he can deal with them and I can't. Specifically spiders and large beetles (June bugs and carrion beetles are huge and icky!). Mainly spiders, though. And I won't let him kill them. He must catch them somehow and put them outside where they belong. It rains enough around here these days, I don't need him making it worse by killing spiders.
Anything he squishes he gets to clean up, because squished bugs are ewwww.
What colour is the sky in your world and how high of a dosage do you need before it turns back to blue? --Gravekeeper
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