Try to be more subtle about your pedophilia

[Jester]

I have nieces aged 6, 17, 18, and 20.

And while I would not personally buy underwear for them, I could see a number of reasons why I might find myself in that position: need, disaster, finances, and or the parent saying, "Oh, this is what they want for Christmas."

As I said, for me I don't think it would be appropriate, but other families might have different views. Hell, just among my nieces, there is a varying degree of appropriateness with this issue. For example, I absolutely could not see myself buying underwear for my oldest niece, but the idea of sending some to my 17 year old niece is not that odd. Not because of anything untoward, but just because of their different personalities. While they are sisters, Dragon would laugh, but Princess would be horrified.

Then again, as someone pointed out, you can't always tell someone's age by their voice. Since puberty, I've sounded older than I was, and anyone who has seen American Idol this year has seen a 17 year old country music singer with a voice deeper than mine, bordering on "Where the hell did THAT voice come from?"

[Soulstealer]

I'll play Devil's Advocate: It might be a granddad buying something for his granddaughter, or mid-life father doing so for his daughter.

I don't know about you but if my grandfathers or father ever bought me underwear I'd be creeped out.

[blas]

As a kid, my parents bought those bags of kids' underwear (you know, generic brands assorted colors, days of the week labels, whatever) and once I reached puberty age, I got to pick them out and it was always my mom with me. Dad didn't want anything to do with underoo shopping.

I can imagine a single dad/foster dad/step dad for a young lady would have no problem buying underwear for the girl, but I'd have a feeling he'd want her along so she could pick what she wanted.

[Jester]

But what if he wanted to surprise her with something nice that she wanted?

Look, that would never happen in my family, or apparently in a lot of yours. But families vary, as do people, and to jump to conclusions based on that phone call (at least without hearing it ourselves) is a bit much, I think.

Yes, the dude could very well have been a total perv. It also could have been something else entirely, something innocent, or perhaps a young man with an older voice trying to get something for his girlfriend.

While pedophilia is a huge problem, and I don't discount its debilitating effects on people, not every situation that seems like it COULD be pedophilia IS pedophilia.

[Solumina]

After my dad retired when I was in 3rd or 4th grade I had a stay at home dad and my mom went back to work. Dad did pretty much all of the household chores like laundry and shopping and I frequently got undies and socks for Christmas, up through all of high school and at that point he was in his 60s (yes I did have a rather old daddy).


Different dynamics for different families.

[Imogene]

A nice pair of pink camo socks for the young lad!

You have NO idea how excited I'd be to get a pair of those, just out of the blue...

[Geek King]

I had a cousin who was hit by a car and killed. Her 12 and 13 year old daughters ended up with her brother, who was single and childless. There was quite a lot of hilarity, especially regarding That Time of Month, as they learned how to live with each other.

That sounds strangely like the write up for a mid-season replacement sitcom. I can see the blurb now:

"Tonight on NBC, Charlie is your average single twenty-something bachelor who is working through a number of bad relationships. His quest for the love of his life takes a turn for the funny when he has to take in the tweener girls of his sister and deal with the onset of puberty. Blood may be thicker than water, but tonight Chalie is going to learn that chocolate conquers all in the premieer episode of...Go With the Flow!"

[emax4]

"Tonight on NBC, Charlie is your average single twenty-something bachelor who is working through a number of bad relationships. His quest for the love of his life takes a turn for the funny when he has to take in the tweener girls of his sister and deal with the onset of puberty. Blood may be thicker than water, but tonight Charlie is going to learn that chocolate conquers all in the premier episode of...Go With the Flow!"

I wish I could laugh out loud at work but I really shouldn't. You should add, "tonight's episode is sponsored by 'Always'.."

[LillFilly]

I feel bad that we automatically jump to the thought that the guy's a pervert. Sad what society has wrought. Reminds me of the guy that was at the park with his 2-kids and was taking a photo of them on the slide; 2-women confronted him, started yelling that he was a pervert, and called the police on him, not believing those were his children because "men don't take their kids to the park!" or some crap like that. Even when the police verified those WERE his kids, the women demanded he still not be allowed to photograph them! WTF.

[Gravekeeper]

While pedophilia is a huge problem, and I don't discount its debilitating effects on people, not every situation that seems like it COULD be pedophilia IS pedophilia.

Well, technically it doesn't even seem like it could be pedophilia. <points at what 42 said>.

That said, not enough info to figure out if the guy was a creeper or a fashion designer ( Cuts? Styles? Patterns? ). You'd really have to hear his tone of voice to call it. Though frankly I kinda doubt it. I mean seriously if you were dribbling over a 17 year old, I mean, she's 17. AKA 12 or less months from 18 AKA legal. If you were going to ask such questions in the interests of lust, you'd probably just round up to 18 or not mention her age at all and go with "young woman" or something.

Mentioning her age specifically says either A) Totally unaware someone would percieve it as creepy and thus likely not creepy or B) Creeptastic but something wrong in the head and not sensing the creepy wrongness in the statement.

[MadMike]

I had a cousin who was hit by a car and killed. Her 12 and 13 year old daughters ended up with her brother, who was single and childless. There was quite a lot of hilarity, especially regarding That Time of Month, as they learned how to live with each other.

One of my closest friends is a woman with two daughters, 14 and 17. When the oldest was about 12, my friend started dating a guy and eventually moved in with him.

One day when she had stepped out for a few hours, the oldest started having "time of month" issues, and there were no products in the house. The poor guy was going nuts trying to figure out exactly what to get for her. I think they eventually resolved it, but the guy was a wreck by the time her mother got home. When it was all over with, he turned to the younger daughter and told her, "Don't you start anytime soon!"

[Chromatix]

I would just like to echo GK in pointing out that in most of the civilised world, the Age of Consent is 16. In a few places, including parts of Canada, it is lower still.

Historically, the motivation for raising the Age of Consent (from say 12, as it was in Britain up to the mid 19th century) was to curb the practice of selling young girls into prostitution.

Politicians nevertheless seem to consider copyright to be a more important topic on which to export US law. Meanwhile, age 18 seems to be universally accepted as the limit for pornographic modelling (although it is still quite possible to find 18-year-old models who look younger).

That's not to say that paedophilia and other forms of child abuse aren't real problems, only that considering a 17-year-old girl to be sexy is not, on a global perspective, considered evil.

[Mishi]

I think it depends on the body language, facial expressions and speech pattern/tones as to whether the guy comes across as creepy or not.
My dad actually took me shopping for my first bras. I was self-concious about not wearing one and my mother was most insistant that I didn't need one and that I wasn't allowed one. Dad took me shopping while my mother was on a business trip, waited outside of the underwear section and told me to pick out whatever was most comfortable and pretty, and to not worry about the prices. He also explained how to check that they fit, and made sure that we went through the checkout with an older lady cashier so that I wasn't as embarassed as I could have been.

Creepy example: When I was heavily pregnant, I was heading towards where the facewashers were displayed in Lest & Bess, when I walked past two twenty-something crackhead blokes and a very made-up 13-15 year old girl. I overhead one of the guys telling the girl that he'd buy her this (tawdry, cheap) lingerie this week, and another (worse) set the next. He sounded so desperate and so pathetic that I smirked, trying not to laugh. The silent bloke saw me and both of the blokes tried to insult me by making loud comments about fat, pregnant bogan sluts that don't know who their babydaddy is. I laughed out loud, walked past them on my way out, clearly said "Cheap-ass paedophiles..." and kept moving.

@MadMike: Love the sig!