The worst of today (longish)

[MissVendetta]

The man with his own alphabet
With foreign and unusual names, I always ask how the name is spelled, letter by letter, if they don't have business cards with them (or don't want to me to take a look at them). Either in my own language, or in English. If I speak English with the customer, I will assume they will spell in English as well. But...
me: How do you spell your last name, sir?
sc: Hrustdtgfgfdjsfjdgjsomething
me:Pardon?
sc (getting pissed):Hrustdtgfgfdjsfjdgjsomething!
me: What's the first letter?
sc: Ha!
me: A? H?
sc: Ha. Hhhhha.
Sorry, but no alphabet I know has letters "ha", "or" or "key". No matter how loud you say them, I still have no idea. So can I now have a look at your business card? I won't steal it.

Stupid woman
SW informs me that our revolving door is dangerous. She says that the floor is very slippery. Funny that no one else has complained about that, belive me they would. Maybe you'll just need some practice walking on high heels?
SW:Is X (a company that sells virus protection software) in this building?
me: Yes it is. So you have a meeting with...
SW:No, I haven't got a meeting with anyone. I just need to go there (I kinda guessed this)
me:Sorry, but I can't let you in if you haven't got an appointment. Besides, their customer care isn't in this location. You should try calling their number.
SW:But I don't want to speak with a robot!
me:After the messages (which no one bothers to listen), someone will take your call. A real person, believe me.
SW:I don't want to use my own cell phone for that! Errr... haven't got my phone with me (yeah, right).
me:You can use mine (it's a work phone, so I don't give a f***). Let me dial the number for you.
SW (to the person on the customer care line): Hello!Hello! I'm downstairs!I want to get in to your office! I think I bought a wrong version of your software...no, can YOU call me? No, I don't want to deal with this now, this is isn't my phone and I won't call you from my own BECAUSE I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR ANY OF YOUR SERVICES (yup, she said that).
SW gives the poor customer care person her details and laves. I cheer, but then remember that's she's somehow familiar. Apparently, she's been here before, so she's likely to come back. Woo. Hoo.

Genius
I have a bit of a line, so I decide to check everyone in and after that inform their hosts their guest have arrived. I write a visitor ID to this guy and he stays on my till, just next to me and my phone, just looking at what I'm doing. After him there's a woman and as I hand her the ID they guy asks me, whether I have informed his host. When? With what? Oh sorry, I forgot that besides reading everyone's minds (as every CS person does), I can also send telepathic messages.

In brief: Argggghhh!!!!

[BookstoreEscapee]

isn't the point of business cards to give them out?

I like the people who expect you to be able to spell the name "Pzyxchibzhtc"...but will spell out S-M-I-T-H for you, nice and slow...

go to the bookstore...everyone has their own alphabet. but that's just rearranging the standard alphabet into their own secret code so no one else can find it!!!

[Sofar]

Don't forget creative spellings and pronunciations. We used to be one of those burger joints that takes your name when you order.

"Okay, that comes to $6.67. And can I get your name?"
"It's Andrea."
"Okay," writes it down.
"NO! It's spelt with a U! And a J! And a Y! And no R!
"Okay."
"And it's pronounced ON-draya, not ann-DRAY-ya. If you pronounce it wrong I'm not coming up here." (This was a popular threat.)

Naturally anyone would freak out if they saw me spelling their names phonectically or otherwise incorrectly, so I'd have to spell them their way and then no one would be able to figure out how the Hell it was pronounced when the order came up. Especially annoying if it was an otherwise typical name just spelt in a counter-intuitive fashion for the sake of individuality. Cindy was also a problem, a remarkable number of people spell it "Sindi" and Lord help you if you dare to lump them in with all those boring, unoriginal "Cindys."

We don't do that anymore. Now you get a number.

[XCashier]

Sorry, but no alphabet I know has letters "ha", "or" or "key". No matter how loud you say them, I still have no idea. So can I now have a look at your business card?

Which probably reads, "John Smith".

Idiot Customer, the customer service rep is trying to help you. Don't be so bloody difficult!

[ToasterQueen]

My mom's name is Theresa, and she used to work at a makeup counter in the mall. She always told me this story of an SC she had...

Mom: Dearest Mummy of TQ
CL: Crazy Lady

Mom: *noticing woman's credit card* Oh, your name is Theresa, spelled with an H! So is mine!
CL: *Gives my mother a supremely disapproving glare* My name's not 'Tree-sa.' It's 'Tee-ah-RUSS-ah!'
Mom: o_o;;

It's like, hello? Sorry, I learned English properly, and grammar rules state that your name SHOULD be pronounced a certain way, given the spelling. If it's different, that's FINE, but you have to TELL us.

</rant>

[myswtghst]

Yeah. I've had plenty of people be difficult if I couldn't pronounce their name. If it's not the common pronounciation, don't expect me to know. If it's an unusual name, or one that your mother made up in a drug induced haze after giving birth, let me know so I don't butcher it.

And I really wish my coworkers put it in their case notes if someone named Tommie is actually a female, or that Stacey is a guy. That way I wouldn't be snottily informed that the Tommie is off for the day, so SHE! can't come to the phone right now.

Granted, my last name is a common, 5 letter adjective, and people still ask me how to spell it.

My brother's greatest High School moment, and running family joke? When the school nurse asked him to spell his last name, and he responded "K...O...P...O...D." She actually wrote this down, before realizing that he was kidding.

[hecubus]

Sorry, but no alphabet I know has letters "ha", "or" or "key".

Actually, 'ha' is German for the letter 'H.'

[MissVendetta]

Another variation how sc's can make everything so much more difficult: When I make visitor ID's, the software saves all the data so (in a perfect world) when mr. Asshat arrives next time, I'll just have to type As* to find his name immediately. But as we don't live in a perfect world, it goes like this:
me (recognizing mr. Asshat's face, knowing his name is on the database): And your name, sir?
mr. Asshat: That's too difficult for you. Let me just get my driver's licence.
Mr. Asshat then searches his pockets for about two and a half hours. Everytime I try to ask his name he gives me the same reply "My name is very difficult to spell".
Sadly, he's not the only one doing this, so there's no way but just to wait til he finds his ID/driver's licence/whatev OR try to learn all their names. There's 12506 names in the database, where shall I start? From a or z? Or maybe I'll just give that type of customer a visitor ID that says "Mr. Verydifficulttospell".
*sigh* I hate names. We all should have just numbers instead.

[skeptic53]

Don't forget creative spellings and pronunciations.

Coworker was calling kids one by one into a pediatric clinic. Several times she called "Darrell" and no one answered, so she called the next kid. Wash, rinse, repeat, finally there is one kid and his mom in the waiting area. She calls "Darrell?" Mom gives her a look that could only be described as murderous, and growls "It's duh-RELL!!" Ooooooh kayyyyyyy Ms. Creative. But you might want to respond earlier to the common pronunciation before sitting there like an evil toad for 2 hours, making your kid wait too.

[AFpheonix]

Somehow, I manage to pronounce a lot of unpronounceable names correctly, so a lot of patients are impressed with me. Mad skills, I guess.
However, if you drop off a script for your daughter who you named after yourself, and I ask for the patient's birthday (to make sure I have the right patient and enter it under the correct profile) for the love of 8 pound, 6 ounce baby Jesus, don't give me YOUR birthday....sigh....and then get mad when you have to wait a second for us to fix it when you come back.

On the same vein, don't give me your name if you're picking up scripts for someone else, then get mad when I can't find the prescription for 15 minutes until you give me a hint that it's not for you....sigh.....

I swear, the Lobotomizer is out and working hard, judging by how many of his victims are out and about these days.

[HYHYBT]

I DON'T WANT TO PAY FOR ANY OF YOUR SERVICES

THAT sure puts you at the top of their priority list! Well, if she were calling Bellsouth in that other thread, anyway...