Apparently my religion is a phase AND not good enough!

[draggar]

I remain confused though. Did he REALLY think chickens are asexual?

You wouldn't believe how many people think this - or that a chicken won't lay an egg without a rooster.

Edit: Sorry, the view didn't show this thread as being 5 pages long, sorry to bring it back to the OP, carry on wherever the thread has gone to.

[foodservicesucks]

I remain confused though. Did he REALLY think chickens are asexual?

I used to think that. But, then, I turned six.

[Jester]

(More colorful language than usual. You've been warned.)

IL: But...but...if you don't believe in the Devil, then who is running this world?!

Greedy corporations. Which are basically devils.

IL: (relieved look) OH! So you DO believe in God! Thank heaven for that!

M: (little miffed) Well, I believe in a God AND a Goddess. Two halves of the same universal spirit...But anyway, you have a nice day.

IL: (Starts to leave, then comes back & pats my hand) Don't worry about believing in a goddess, dear, I'm sure it's just a phase you're going through! GOD BLESS YOU! (Leaves)

Okay, people like this just piss me off. Seriously? Stop it. Just stop it.

And no one said it better than George Carlin:

"...if you read your history you know that god is one of the leading causes of death and has been for thousands of years. Hindus, Moslems, Christians, Jews, all taking turns killing one another, because god told them it was a good idea. The sword of god, the blood of the lamb. Vengeance is mine, onward Christian soldiers. Millions of dead people. All because they gave the wrong answer to the god Question:

Do you believe in god?
No.
BAM! Dead!
How about you? Do you believe in god?
Yes.
Do you believe in MY god?
No.
BAM! Dead!
My god has a bigger dick than your god.

For thousands of years all the bloodies and most brutal wars have been based on religious hatred. Which of course, is fine with me; anytime "holy" people are killing one another, I'm a happy guy...."

SC: (whips around) What?! If ANYTHING, it is HEALTHIER!!!! It makes you a BETTER person too!

SC: (comes up to register with comics) Sorry for butting in there, but I can't help it. I've been a vegan for 2 years, and I get really bent by people who are JUST vegetarians. It's like they don't REALLY care!

Fuck you! Go fuck yourself, you sanctimonious bastard. No one fucking asked you, so go blow a goat.

Idiot, idiot, idiot. Seriously, fuck off. Veganism is working for you? Great. Don't be a preacher, you asswipe. I have friends who are vegetarians. I have a niece and a friend who are pescovegetarians (they eat seafood). Not one of them is preachy about it, not one of them will give anyone else shit for eating meat, or will promote their dietary regimen as being better than someone else's, unless you ask them specifically why they do it, and that's different. They don't act all superior to anyone, and each one of them will sit down with you while you eat a steak and not blink twice. Because for all of them it was a personal choice made for themselves, not for anyone else, and not for political reasons. They are not self-righteous douchebags like this guy.

Hell, my one friend Pilot, who has never been preachy about his vegetarianism, but once when he got a bit preachy about the joys of coffee and kept trying to convince me to try this or that coffee drink (I don't drink caffeine, and I loathe coffee--I'd rather kiss a girl after she's smoked a cigarette than after she's drank coffee), I finally snapped at him, "Look dude, I'll have a coffee when you eat a fucking steak." And that was the last time he said shit to me about coffee....because he realized he had been getting uncharacteristically preachy.

SC: THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!!!

Die screaming, motherfucker! I hate this guy with the heat of ten thousand suns. (Two movie references in just one line!)

SC: Ha! So you admit to creating a living hell for our fellow creatures!

This guy would LOVE talking to me. Not only am I an unashamed omnivore, I have no problem with getting in someone's face when they're pissing me off or being an asshole. Oh, we'd have fun, he and I!

It's not like EVERYONE could be as good as vegans are...

Adolf Hitler was a vegetarian. Mother Teresa was not. Who was the better person? The meat eater or the non-meat eater?

This guy is such a bonehead. Your dietary choices do not make you a better or worse person (other than nutritionally).

Just gotta love people who can't go the day without respecting another person's belief system.

And to them I say as well, "Go fuck yourselves." I don't preach my lifestyle to them, they shouldn't preach theirs to me. Be it religion, dietary decisions, politics, sports or their choice of fetish porn. Keep it to yourself, get out of my face, and shut the fuck up.

There is nothing more obnoxious than a fanatical anything.

Quoted for truth!

One of my good friends is a vegan just because she wants to be and she had to deal with people asking her why all the damn time.

"Why? Because I choose to!" Idiots.

As a note: though chickens cannot, turkeys can undergo parthenogenesis and spawn without sexual reproduction.

Okay, this sounds fascinating. Details, please?

me:That's because I am only 5/6 Jewish and I need to pass the final test before I get the last point.

Hil-fucking-larious!

But if you're a type of ethical vegetarian, why would you drink milk when you know that cows have to breed to produce it?

What's wrong with breeding? You are telling two of nature's creatures to do something natural: fuck. How is this a bad thing?

I guess what this all boils down to is, the OP dealt with a couple idiots whose brains were fried and made some rotten comments.

I am not going to get drawn into a pun war.
I am not going to get drawn into a pun war.
I am not going to get drawn into a pun war.
I am not....

I"m a card carrying Atkins following carnivore for about ten or twelve years and I don't care to explain, either, mainly because most people are just idiots.

I am an unabashed omnivore, and while I don't feel the NEED to explain, I have no problem DOING so if someone gets in my face about it, either. Classic (friendly) conversation I had with a vegetarian once...

JESTER: "Broccoli is a side dish, not a meal. [a great quote from Denis Leary.] As far as I'm concerned, if it's too slow, it's dinner."
VEGGIE: "But one day, you may be too slow!"
JESTER: "That's true, but I accept my place in the food chain...and so far, I haven't been too slow!"

Really, I don't know why people get worked up over the lifestyle choices of strangers, be it their religion or what they choose to eat.

Sure you do, Kink. You said it yourself:

I think they're just idiots regarding many, many subjects.

Sometimes the answers really are that simple!

BTW, I tell people I'm a "Born Again Pagan, but Jewish by culture."

I often tell people that I'm descended from Jews and was raised by two Atheists, and at this point I'm basically a Pagan. Talk about confusion!

(My parents almost literally ran screaming from the Jewish religion and never looked back.)

It must be a man thing because he said to use a certain number of bananas.

No, that's not a man thing.

My father claims that he never pretended he knew what he was talking about, but also doesn't admit he was wrong.

THAT'S a man thing!

Joke's on him because, unless he made them himself or specifically purchased vegetarian refried beans, he was consuming quite a bit of lard.

Or even bacon, as a lot of beans, including refried and black, use bacon and/or bacon grease to add flavor.

I will just say that those of you on here who are of faiths other than Christianity or of no faith at all, please be reassured that not ALL Christians are like the few assholes you meet.

Every group has a few assholes in it, be that group Christians, Jews, vegetarians, sports fans, nudists, journalists, skiers, synchronized swimmers, drunks, Elvis impersonators, or the French.

It's funny how many folks think you still eat seafood or poultry, like beef and pork are the only real meat.

To be fair, there are a good number of pescovegetarians out there, such as my niece and my friend mentioned above.

[draggar]

^^ Jester with the ultimate multiquote win ^^

[Jester]

Meant to comment on this in my post, but somehow missed it....

The latter roommate could be quite the snob about being a vegetarian, too. Liked to make snide remarks about how meat products are raised and processed during meals.

Oh, he'd LOVE me. Not only do I know how my food comes to the table, I can expound on it in quite explicit detail. I would certainly turn the table on this douchebag, and go into a long, detailed explanation that would put his to shame, and probably make him retch.

True story: back in high school, during my sophomore year I had biology class with "Mr. Stanialowski" (not his real name) who we all just called "Mr. Stan." And I sat in the back of the room with "Kelly" and "Dan" (also not their real names). And the three of us would often get in trouble for talking during class.

Well, one day Dan and I were grossing Kelly out by telling her what a hot dog really IS. In the middle of the lesson, Kelly yells out, "Mr. Stan! Mr. Stan! Mr. Stan!"

Mr. Stan, in an exasperated "we've been here before" tone: "Yes, Kelly, what is it this time?"

"Jester and Dan are being gross!" And she tells him what we were saying.

And not thinking twice about it, Mr. Stan said, "Well, Kelly, that's actually rather fascinating...." And he launched into a 15-20 minute unplanned "lesson" about how sausages are made, in vivid detail, with far more information and details than two 15 year old boys like me and Dan could have ever come up with.

And Kelly, most of the girls, and a few of the boys in the room just turned GREEN! They were utterly mortified! And Mr. Stan had no clue what he had just caused, or the effect his lecture had had on the students.

Kelly didn't speak to me or Dan for two weeks!

^^ Jester with the ultimate multiquote win ^^

As always!

[taxguykarl]

I'll help...

Here is a link to the most amazing icecream I've ever tasted - on my wife's blog


Every single person we've shared this recipe with have fallen in love with it.

Sounds good. I'll give it a try (with Mexican vanilla) the next time I make ice cream.

[Mr Hero]

And to them I say as well, "Go fuck yourselves." I don't preach my lifestyle to them, they shouldn't preach theirs to me. Be it religion, dietary decisions, politics, sports or their choice of fetish porn. Keep it to yourself, get out of my face, and shut the fuck up.

And what happens if a person's fetish is naked magic shows?

[Jester]

And what happens if a person's fetish is naked magic shows?

As long as they're not preachy about making other people watch it, who cares?

[HotelMinion]

I remember I saw a half formed dead chick in one of my eggs, blood and all. It was a LONG time before I ate eggs again. So yeah, some eggs are fertilized I suppose. That SC needs to calm the heck down, tho. And once I saw two yolks in one egg. Twins?

[fireheart]

Well, one day Dan and I were grossing Kelly out by telling her what a hot dog really IS. In the middle of the lesson, Kelly yells out, "Mr. Stan! Mr. Stan! Mr. Stan!"

Mr. Stan, in an exasperated "we've been here before" tone: "Yes, Kelly, what is it this time?"

"Jester and Dan are being gross!" And she tells him what we were saying.

And not thinking twice about it, Mr. Stan said, "Well, Kelly, that's actually rather fascinating...." And he launched into a 15-20 minute unplanned "lesson" about how sausages are made, in vivid detail, with far more information and details than two 15 year old boys like me and Dan could have ever come up with.

And Kelly, most of the girls, and a few of the boys in the room just turned GREEN! They were utterly mortified! And Mr. Stan had no clue what he had just caused, or the effect his lecture had had on the students.

Kelly didn't speak to me or Dan for two weeks!

So you were a smartass at age 15 eh?

[Jester]

So you were a smartass at age 15 eh?

No. I was a smartass right out of the womb. But I don't see what that story has to do with my being a smartass, as in it I really wasn't. We were just screwing with Kelly's head, and then our teacher took it to a whole different level.

[Hyndis]

I remember I saw a half formed dead chick in one of my eggs, blood and all. It was a LONG time before I ate eggs again. So yeah, some eggs are fertilized I suppose. That SC needs to calm the heck down, tho. And once I saw two yolks in one egg. Twins?

Its possible it can happen. Were these eggs from some small, independent place? Generally with factory farms it is impossible for this to happen.

Two yolks can happen in a single egg as well. Rare, but it can happen.

[hinakiba777]

Lord Dyin' Tunders B'y! I cannot express in words how much I loathe fanatical people. They are so infuriating.

Now I myself am an animist who was= raised in a Christian family. My parents are cool with my belief system, but I tend not to really discuss it with people. Mostly because I don't believe it really matters. Also, because many people think my spiritual conception is malarky. However, one night I was out to dinner and a friend brought their friend who was either vegetarian or a vegan. I can't recall now.

Anyway we were out and I ordered Chicken Cordon Bleu. The guy waits until the waitress leaves, before he starts to rant about how disgusting my meal was. I shrug it off and get down to my food, while the guy keeps complaining that I shouldn't eat something with a soul. To which one of my friends explained that I'm an animist, so I believe that most things have some sort of spirit or energy. How, to me, it's hypocritical to eat one living thing (broccoli) and not another (turkey). The vegan guy mocked me for a bit before I got frustrated and tried to explain my beliefs. I ended with the example of fire being alive. In response, the guy blew out all the candles at our table. Then said something about how now he's a murder like me.

I left. As much as I liked our mutual friends, I was not going to put up with that stuff

Honestly, I don't know why certain people have to be right all the time. It's really annoying.

Anyway, good job not losing it over the SCs. I still can't believe that guy didn't understand how egg fertilization works.

The second SC's just mad because he accidentally drank some coffee with half and half and had the Vegan Police revoke his powers.

Awesome Scott Pilgram Reference! 10,000 points!

[Amethyst Hunter]

IL: But...but...if you don't believe in the Devil, then who is running this world?!

Well it damn sure ain't me, otherwise idiots like this wouldn't exist. (Why yes I am a merciless dictator, why do you ask?)

IL: (Starts to leave, then comes back & pats my hand) Don't worry about believing in a goddess, dear, I'm sure it's just a phase you're going through! GOD BLESS YOU! (Leaves)

Well, at least she was nice, albeit patronizing, about it. I've heard of (and seen) the far worse reactions non-Christians usually get.

SC: Ha! So you admit to creating a living hell for our fellow creatures!

No, hell is when you're stuck in an elevator with 5th-grade flunkouts like this guy. And the elevator door won't open.

SC: You're as bad as a meat-eater!!!!

I would like to make a confession.

I believe that meat is murder.

Tasty, tasty oh-so-delicious murder.

(Had a nice broiled T-bone for dinner earlier tonight, as a matter of fact.)

[Mytical]

I'll be the first to admit I am still trying to find my belief, because no current belief can answer all the questions I have. The ones that even think about answering "Because some book (or person) told me" need not even bother applying. Since I've encountered 'Free roaming apparitions', I believe their is SOMETHING out there..I just couldn't say what.