Rants of a Fast Food Worker...

[cincyredlegs30]

As a manager of a local fast food joint...I won't say which one

We will just say that it has to do with royalty...anyway, here is some advice on what really gets under the skin of a fast food and/or retail worker...

1.) You don't have to YELL INTO THE ORDER BOX! We can hear you, we have the technology...and if you are in a diesel truck that is the size of your house...TURN IT OFF for crying out loud...nothing beats trying to take an order and some idiot is trying to SCREAM AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS OVER HIS TRUCK!

2.) Don't ask for a sandwich the size of your palm to be cut in half! If it is for a child...that is one thing, but when the sandwich is as small as some of ours...it don't have to be cut in half...you lazy B$%tard.

3.) If you have two separate orders, please say so ahead of time...don't wait until we give you your friggin total and then say...Hold on, I have another order...

4.) You are not being sneaky people! If you are not allowed to have salt on your fries...I understand because I am a nursing student also, but what is with you ordering fries with no salt and then asking for salt at the window?!? This gives up the charade...we KNOW that you just want fresh fries...NEWS FLASH...you don't get fresh fries...you get the old ones that have been re-dropped to get rid of the salt. Also, don't try to threaten us by saying something like:

SC: Make sure that fish sandwich is fresh from the frier...I am serious...I will send it back....

GO AHEAD DOOFUS, SEND IT BACK AND SEE WHAT YOU GET! You think we care if you send it back? No, you will probably get back something worse than what you had to start with. Oh, then you threaten us to call the district manager or whatever...who gives a crap...call him, you think he cares?

5.) DO NOT come through a drive-thru at 11:59pm when a store closes at midnight and then get mad and yell because we closed. COMMON SENSE...you sucky customers...do you want a burger so bad that you are willing to make a HUGE scene to get it? You know by the time that happens...you have already made us mad and we all know what happens when you make the people who handle your food mad.

6.) Don't sit at the first board and wait and wait and wait and wait......and wait until you build a line and then pull up.

7.) If you are greeted at the order box and you need a moment, please ask for one. To those IDIOTS who don't respond to the greeting...you can at least open your big fat mouth to acknowledge that you heard us.

8.) Don't pull up to the order box with your window up...common friggin sense

9.) Don't pull up to the speaker and argue with the seven children in your car. Know what you want ahead of time...or at least some of it...don't sit and run my drive-thru time up (yes, we are graded on it) arguing with all of the people in your car.

10.) Don't pull up to the speaker box while talking on your cell phone. If you want to order, get off your stupid phone for three seconds... or long enough to order at least. You don't know how hard we laugh when someone pulls up...we greet them...and hear..."You know I like it like that, so what time are you coming over"....etc. Oh yea, and for those crappy Nextel people...your walkie talkie is the most rude and obnoxious things in the world...I can't stand being at a restraunt...trying to enjoy my food with my girl and hearing this at a DEAFENING VOLUME:

*CHIRP* HEY HONEY CAN YOU PICK ME UP SOME TAMPONS WHEN YOU DROP BY THE GROCERY STORE *CHIRP*

11.) Don't pull up to my order box and say stupid Sh*t like...I want to place an order (no duh) or the famous...I need this order to go please...(self explanatory)

12.) Don't pull up and say "Yea, let me get a kids meal"...a kid's meal? Do you mind telling me what kind of kids meal you want? We have 7 different kinds...and you want me to read your mind?

13.) Let me ask a question...HOW MANY TIMES MUST WE ASK YOU WHAT YOU WANT TO DRINK WITH YOUR MEALS BEFORE YOU START TELLING US WITHOUT HAVING TO BE PROMPTED? I can't tell you how many times I have heard this...

SC: Yea, let me get a number 1 with no onion. Then, let me get a number...
Me: What to drink?
SC: Sprite, then let me get a number two...an apple pie...
Me: What to drink?
SC: Huh?
Me: What to drink with the number 2?
SC: Oh, Coke....an apple pie....another number two with cheese and a cheesecake..
Me: OMFG! What in the crap do you want to drink already?

14.) Don't come up to the counter with 6 coupons and think that you can use all of them together in order to buy a medium french fry and get like 7 things for free...the world don't work that way. Which leads me to my next rant...

15.) Don't think you can get away with using 6 coupons by saying something like...I have 6 separate orders...or by giving each of your kids a 5 dollar bill and a coupon each.

16.) Don't sit at the drive-thru window for 20 mins looking for 74 cents! Just give me three quarters you cheap a$$ho*e.

17.) If you see a line WRAPPED around the building and it is not moving:

A.) Don't think that you're a genius by coming into the dining room. Chances are, whatever is holding the drive-thru up is affecting the whole friggin store. You WILL NOT GET YOUR FOOD ANY FASTER! Matter of fact, in most places, the drive-thru gets the priority...so you just shafted yourself.

B.) Don't wait in said line and then act FURIOUS when you get to the window...because let's break this down...

You had enough patience to wait in a line that is 14 cars long...
You had enough patience to not back out and go elsewhere...
You had enough patience to sit at the box and order your food...
Then, you want to get MAD AT ME BECAUSE YOU HAD TO WAIT!?!?!?!
I didn't hold a gun to your face and make you wait in that line...you could have been smart and drove off.

18.) Don't play this card either:

Old Man SC: I know how this is supposed to work. I used to work for (insert restraunt here) a while back.

Chances are, things have probably changed since dinosaurs ruled the Earth. (this goes for younger a$$h*les too) It don't work the same as when you worked there.

19.) Don't order the most disgustingly fattening meal on the menu...add extra cheese, extra mayo, and bacon to it and then UPSIZE it with a.....DIET COKE!?!?!

20.) This is more for retail workers than fast food, but I used to do that also...so here it is.... This isn't the FLEA MARKET! We can not haggle with you over price. Don't say something stupid like..."is that the best you can do on that stereo?"

Whew I feel better now...take my warning if you want good food and don't make us mad...please....

[Kiwi]

I totally agree with most of your points, I lasted 4 hours at maccas and never felt more horrible in my life... I dont know how people do it day after day after day!

I get diet coke with all of my meals though, no matter how fattening (haha if I wanted healthy I wouldnt be getting my meal in a box) because I prefer the taste, I cant stand sugery syrupy drinks, yuck.

[Retail Associate]

Whew I feel better now...take my warning if you want good food and don't make us mad...please....

I'll never make you mad...promise. I know bad things happen to your food when you make the employees mad. Even if they've made a mistake I don't complain. The fast food worker/waiter/waitress is ALWAYS right.

Glad you feel better.

[scary cary]

i was trying to argue with some guy on another message board that the fast food workers he pissed off probably were fucking with his food, and he probably wouldn't even notice. to which he proceeded to respond that he could afford a better lawyer than they ever could and that yes he would know

oh and why he pissed them off? came in 5 mins before close, tried to use a coupon (free dessert or something), sit down to eat at a booth inside, and didnt even leave a tip.

[Arachne]

Not everyone who orders diet coke does it to count calories. I'm very sensative to sugar -- it wires me like nobody's business. Worse, any sugar I ingest through drinking gets me especially badly. The last time I had a coke, I went to the doctor at the same day, and she was thinking about making me go to the hospital because of the way my heart was hammering. She kept asking me what I'd done to myself. She couldn't believe all I'd done was drink a soda.

Even pure orange juice makes me wired.

I also know a lot of people who drink diet drinks because they don't like the way the sugared ones taste, or because they need to avoid sugar (rather than calories) or corn products. (Corn syrup is in -everything-.)

[AFpheonix]

Amen on the diesel pickups! And don't look at me like I just ran over your puppy when I insist that you shut it off. I would like to preserve what little hearing I have left on the side of my head that I normally cradle the phone. That goes double for you, Mr. 2-Stroke Scooter Guy.
Ass.

However, on the coming inside thing, I will respectfully disagree, as I will do so if there's a lot of people in the drive through already and next to no one inside. Then I get to leave and point and laugh at the people still in line.

I wish more people would do that at my pharmacy. Seriously people, the drive through is not an express lane with us. It does not get preference as far as speed goes. Don't call me from the line to ask why things are taking so long. All you did was slow me down.
Especially don't get my number from 411 and call me if you're sitting at another store's drive thru. I will then get the rights to laugh at you. Ha ha.

[ahanix1989]

Warning: Swearing ahead.

Drive-Through Etiquette

If your window…
…on your car doesn’t roll down, don’t go through the drive-through, opening your door to speak/pay/receive your food. Come inside, and order it to-go. Worse, don’t have the person in the back seat do the transaction, and do NOT try to pay/receive through the sunroof (All of these have occurred).

Shut up!
“I’d like a spaghetti!! Marinara!!!”. Why do people shriek at the microphone? I can hear you, stop sounding so damn whiny. Everyone who comes through drive-through sounds like they’re complaining as they order. And please, use manners. When I go through a drive-through, I still use my Pleases and Thank Yous.

Can I…like… purchase some extra breadsticks?
Well, according to the 10-foot menu right in front of you… yes. Way to read, dipshit. Don’t ask me what all sodas we serve, how much breadsticks cost, what kind of toppings are available… it’s all on the menu right in front of you.
Order six breadsticks, then discover that for 26 cents more, you could’ve gotten 12, and want it changed? Too bad. Should’ve looked at the menu.

I said pull around!
Not “pull around the corner and stop”, not “go to a parking stall in front”, not “go to a parking stall by the dumpsters”. We have signs that say “RESERVED FOR FAZOLI’S DRIVE THROUGH”. It’s right on the other side of the median where our window is. You stop there. Notice the shape of the drive way. This means, don’t stop where you are blocking the exit. Trust me, if I am trying to go home, and you are in my way… you will know. The horn on a Dodge Ram Van is quite loud, and is at the same level as your head.

Green is the new Red
What part of “Please pull forward to the red handrail” is so hard to understand? As you look out to your left, you see building… building… handrail painted red… sidewalk… rocks… bush… bush… bush… and then you stop? Not only are you blocking the exit, but I had to walk through the bushes to deliver your food. The bushes have little sharp prickly things that get in my shoe and piss me off.
I took out my revenge on those bushes… they were no match for my car. Needless to say, Fazoli’s no longer has the bushes surrounding it.

I've got more, like fat people wearing miniskirts... and then pulling a leg up to their chest.

[Sofar]

Thank you, a fellow frialator. Fortunately my burger joint has no drive-through.

[SuperB]

Ditto on the diet coke. It's not about calories, it's about taste.

[BookstoreEscapee]

Not everyone who orders diet coke does it to count calories. I'm very sensative to sugar -- it wires me like nobody's business. Worse, any sugar I ingest through drinking gets me especially badly. The last time I had a coke, I went to the doctor at the same day, and she was thinking about making me go to the hospital because of the way my heart was hammering. She kept asking me what I'd done to myself. She couldn't believe all I'd done was drink a soda.

Even pure orange juice makes me wired.

I also know a lot of people who drink diet drinks because they don't like the way the sugared ones taste, or because they need to avoid sugar (rather than calories) or corn products. (Corn syrup is in -everything-.)

Read The Omnivore's Dilemma by Michael Pollan. You won't escape corn products by ordering a diet drink in a fast food place. There is corn in EVERYTHING, even those "all white meat" chicken nuggets. Interesting read...will make you think about what you eat (not that I've stopped eating it...it's pretty rare, though)

[Becks]

However, on the coming inside thing, I will respectfully disagree, as I will do so if there's a lot of people in the drive through already and next to no one inside. Then I get to leave and point and laugh at the people still in line.

I wish I could go inside at McDonald's more often, but they close the lobby at 10 (when I get out of work), so drive-thru it is. Too bad I'm not overly fond of BK, because it's always just about dead.

[AFpheonix]

Tell me about it Becky Sunshine. I get off so late, the McD's drive through is closed by the time I go by there
Ah well, forces me to eat something a little better for me when I get home, like crackers and cheese.

[Lace Neil Singer]

I only ever eat McDonalds at that time of the month; and I never use drive in. Call me old fashioned, but I like to sit in a booth and eat. I also use please and thank you, and always clear up after myself.

[BookstoreEscapee]

I only ever eat McDonalds at that time of the month; and I never use drive in. Call me old fashioned, but I like to sit in a booth and eat. I also use please and thank you, and always clear up after myself.

I don't do drive through for a different reason. My rule is, if I'm going to eat fast food, I have to at least drag my lazy butt out of the car and walk in to get it.

[tollbaby]

I simply refuse to eat in a car. My ex-best friend (this isn't why we're not speaking anymore, different story) had this nasty habit of stopping at Wendy's on the way home from choir practice, but instead of stopping at the Wendy's near my house and eating inside with my husband and I, she'd stop at the one near the church where we had choir practice (a town away) and eat in the car. I've never liked eating in cars, but when in Rome, right? Plus she was my ride, and we got nifty discounts cause she worked at that Wendy's.

One night it was snowing pretty badly and she was going way too fast (which I had mentioned once or twice, but she hated to be criticized on her driving). A cop passes us with his lights flashing and pulls off to the side to help someone who had been in an accident. The black SUV in front of us SLAMS on his brakes to RUBBERNECK! (ugh. I hate that. Rent a disaster movie when you get home, but get the eff out of the way!) So she swerves to avoid buttmunch in front of us, and somewhere around the cheeseburger and fries she had in her hands, loses control of the car, and we narrowly miss hitting the cop car, turn 270 degrees and slam our ass end in to the guardrail. If she hadn't been munching on her dinner and driving too fast to begin with, we never would have had a problem.

I never let her drive me anywhere again, and I can't stomach the idea of eating in a moving/running vehicle (bf and I will occasionally grab DQ and eat in the car in the parking lot, but not often).