Cable Customers: Random Comments

[Phone Jockey]

Here are a few strange things customers have said to me, just out of nowhere. Nothing lead up to most of these comments, just batshiat craziness.

C: Hey, this is not me calling you.

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Me: Is there anything else I can help you with today, mam?
C: Do you know how to deliver a baby?

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C: I’m a TV freak!

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C: I can get along w/ the devil if he talks sensible to me.

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C: My name is Mr. Prim, but not proper…

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C: Now listen, Miss, if you tell me I need to reboot my cable box, I’m coming through the phone & I’ll bite your leg!

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C: My name is “Ugly Old Margaret Jones.”

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C: I can’t talk to you today because you might transfer me!

[Kristev]

Do phones make people lose their inhibitions?

[El Pollo Guerrera]

Do phones make people lose their inhibitions?

I figure it's like the Interwebz... anything is OK if you can't see the face of the person talking...

[Becks]

C: I’m a TV freak!

I can't say I've ever heard of that fetish before.

[telecom_goddess]

I can't say I've ever heard of that fetish before.

Me either and it frightens me...

[DGoddessChardonnay]

I can't say I've ever heard of that fetish before.

Me either and it frightens me...

Ya'll just haven't been to the right fetish site, methinks.

Let's just say it's plumb scary what some people will do to a tv remote and we'll leave it at that.

[Stryker One]

When it absolutley positively has to be there overnight.

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Me: Is there anything else I can help you with today, mam?
C: Do you know how to deliver a baby?

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FedEx.

THIS MESSAGE IS NOT TOO DAMN SHORT!

[Becks]

Let's just say it's plumb scary what some people will do to a tv remote and we'll leave it at that.

Remote controls, sure...but TVs?????

[Mytical]

For some reason the first caller made me laugh. I could imagine this conversation...

"Hello this is Not Mr. Jones. I would like to do some changes to my account."

"Ok Not Mr. Jones. I need the name on the account, the address for the account and the phone number please."

"Mr. Jones, blah blah blah street, xxx-xxx-xxxx"

"I am sorry Not Mr. Jones..according to my files I can only help Mr. Jones."

"It's not me that is calling..it is Mr. Jones."

"Then I have to speak to Mr. Jones."

"But...its not me that is calling!!"

[telecom_goddess]

Remote controls, sure...but TVs?????

Oh remotes are ok but tvs are wrong eh?

Either one scares me and I don't even know what could be done with a tv....don't wanna know.

[Becks]

Oh remotes are ok but tvs are wrong eh?

Remotes are (somewhat) understandable. Or I know waaaaaaaaaaaay too many perverts.

I don't even know what could be done with a tv....don't wanna know.

Same here.

[Redbeard]

Here are a few strange things customers have said to me, just out of nowhere. Nothing lead up to most of these comments, just batshiat craziness.

My personal favorites are "Turn me back on from being disconnected for 3+ months of non pay or I'll go to another company!

Or, my number one favorite

"I'm calling to tell you that I don't have your service and have no intention of getting your service. Now goodbye!"

[Alephcat]

Remote controls, sure...but TVs????

I don't even know what could be done with a tv....don't wanna know.

What is it you 2 have against transvestites? they are people too you know

[Becks]

^^ Not a thing.

Great people.

[Alephcat]

I know, I was kidding, hence the smileys.