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Campfire Tales IV (Father of the Year)

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  • Campfire Tales IV (Father of the Year)

    *walks out of the woods, with an arm full of wood and a large sack in his arms*

    “Well,…hello kiddies, looks like its story time again.” He places the sack on the ground and throws some of the kindling into the fire and rubs his hands together. “I made sure to get plenty o’ S’mores this time, so we won’t run out.” He sits by the fire and lights his pipe and eyes the gathered circle. “I know it’s been a while but ol’ Cruc had to run to the cabin for some more goodies, but on the way I remembered a funny little tale about the Father of the Year.”

    “I was a little older at this point, and a little more seasoned, (that’s ol’ folk talk to make us seem wiser than we actually are ) and was working as a manager at this little hotel in the downtown. It was a decent place, but at the time we had some bad things going on in town. We had this little storm that had blown through that had mangled the town worse than a cow caught in a wheat thresher.”

    “We had all sorts staying at the hotel, mostly local folk who just needed a place to lay their heads after a long hard day. But not everyone can be good, that is for true and for sure. We had a family that had just moved into the hotel and were a problem almost from the start. Dad had a fondness for the ‘shine in all its assorted flavors. Mom was a hard worker, but was always gone at the time anything happened. Junior was a real problem as he seemed to have a fondness for spending time with the local sheriff.”

    “ In the week leading up to this particular story, Junior had been chased off from the hotel after smoking an herbal product in the hallways. Dad had been constantly lounging all over the hotel with a snoot full. Mom was never there as she was working. The Boss has been debating having them leave as she had a few complaints on 'em from others in the hotel.”

    “It was a week or so after the family had checked in and Mom was off working to make money so Dad could indulge himself as usual. Junior was off making friends with the local police, and it was a normal night…until...” a curl of smoke comes off his pipe as he recollects.

    “Well, Junior decided it was time to come home and try to become the man of the house.. hotel...whatever. Well, he marches into the lobby of a nice hotel in the downtown of a major city and proceeds to yell at Dad about him being a drunk, and other unsavory things. Well, there were a lot of people staying at this hotel, and with the children around, it was quite a fuss.”

    “Now ol’ Dad was a real hard drinking man as we all know, but he weren’t gonna have any of that lip from Junior. He wobbled to his feet like a man with a mission, and glared at his son with bloodshot eyes. He reared up and actually spit in Junior’s face. (I had to give him points for distance on that actually). Well, Junior was a bit riled up at this and decided that the only way Dad was gonna see his viewpoint was at the end of his fist. Well, Dad for all his wobbliness was surprisingly spry.”

    “Now imagine to my surprise as I walk out my little office in the back, I see a fisticuffs brewing in the lobby. It reached its final blow as Junior missed his father, and ol’Dad proceeded to hit Junior so hard, he plum knocked a tooth out. I imagine Mom won’t be playing tooth fairy for that one any time soon.”

    He relights his pipe, and puffs a few times, “Now Dad had proven to be a real Father of the Year on this occasion, because you see he made things so bad for his family, they ended up out on the street afterwards. It was sad really, as Junior ran off into the night, I imagine finding some of his police friends (they had a special suite for him with bars). Never did see that boy again.”

    “Now Mom came home to a real humdinger of a mess, and she was a little grumpy. Dad was even drunker than usual, and I was waiting for her with him in the lobby as I was the bearer of some bad news. I explained the problem, and that she would have to leave as I had no intention of letting them stay after the fight. Dad had proven his worth in that instance and I felt sorry for Mom and Junior let me tell you.”

    “Well, they were staying with us for a few weeks, then moving on to another hotel a few blocks away. I remember I called the other hotel and got their reservation cancelled so this problem would not be passed to them. I tell you I felt lower than dirt, but it had to be done. I couldn’t pass on a problem like this to a sister hotel.”

    “I had to make ‘em leave because as much as poor ol’ Mom had a bad situation in Dad, I had a hotel full of people who had similar problems and they didn’t deserve to have this on their doorstep. Well Mom was having none of it, and apparently I had become worse than Dad. I could understand her anger, but she was still made to leave, not without one memorable tantrum, I tell you. She wailed at me and called me everything under the sun she could. I remember the worst of it was when I and my Security placed their items outside the doors on the curb, and she proceeded to stand there and stare at me through the window. I actually had to make her leave the front of the hotel because she was talking to the guests trying to make a problem.”

    He pats his pipe on the bottom of his shoe, and refills it as he continues,” It was a bad night let me tell you. Mom was pissed, Junior was gone, and Dad was drunk as a skunk. I gotta say though that I felt bad for them, but a lot of folks were in a similar predicament, and it wouldn't have been fair to make them suffer these idjits."

    “Well ya'll come on back another time and I'll have another tale for you…and this time we'll have plenty of s’mores!” *light his pipe and smirks*
    And unto the I offer the 11th commandment of god, that whomsover calleth "Shotgun" shall heretofore and forever lay claim to that seat......until you have to pee!!-your friendly neighborhood Crucible

  • #2
    1) Yay campfire!
    2) hi Crucible
    3) *sigh* this kind of drama is the type anyone can live without. Especially a Junior. I hope he's alright... At least Mom was a hard worker... although you have to wonder why Dad drank? /nosy parker
    4) Yay smores~ :3 You aren't roasting your marshmallow right unless it becomes a flaming beacon of justice
    "Is it the lie that keeps you sane? Is this the lie that keeps you sane?What is it?Can it be?Ought it to exist?"
    "...and may it be that I cleave to the ugly truth, rather than the beautiful lie..."

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    • #3
      Woot! More campfire stories, and s'mores! ^_^ Nice to see you again.

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      • #4
        S'mores? Too damn hot for that >_< .... I know! Snoballs! I want batman flavor!

        Wait, dammit, I can't remember what that one actually tastes like x.x Make it wild cherry, tons of syrup, then
        Last edited by EricKei; 05-11-2011, 04:22 AM.
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