Money for nothing and your chicks for free.

[Mr M]

I work in a electrical store. We sell the same things as most electrical stores do. Computers, TV, DVD players, cellphones, etc.
However - one thing which REAALLLYYY gets up my nose is people coming in JUST so they can get their electrical/computer question answered. For nothing. For free.

"I tried to install X software and windows comes up with a error message that says 'Sytems Fandangle Error XXX125874XXX15488ELMENOPEE66' what does that mean and how do I fix it?"
No, they didn't buy the software off us...usually it's some free sh*t they downloaded off the intarweb.

"I have a computer I bought second hand from my cousins brother's mother-in-law from 1856...why won't it boot up?"
Tell ya what, how's about you buy a computer from HERE...and then get back to me.

A classic example is people calling up for a "quick question" like we're a tech support for anything they don't know.
I had one guy call us up during the busy Xmas period because he wanted one of us to talk him through setting up a network in his house!!
W.T.F.?

Honestly, the rudeness of it just stuns me sometimes.

I'll snap one day and say,
"Buddy...do you see search engine here? Anywhere you can type your query into? Do I have the f**king words 'Google' printed on my forehead!?!?! No? Then F**K OFF coz you just got a 404 from me!"

[MMATM]

I'll snap one day and say,
"Buddy...do you see search engine here? Anywhere you can type your query into? Do I have the f**king words 'Google' printed on my forehead!?!?! No? Then F**K OFF coz you just got a 404 from me!"

And then someone will ask you what a 404 is...

[Enjis]

I used to work in a flower store inside a big department store. People would call all the time asking questions about plants and flowers...how to care for them, cure them, etc.
I would always ask. 'Did you buy it here?'
The answer was always "No". I'd ask why and they would always say "Your store is too expensive..I got it at the grocery store, 'cuz it costs less."
To which I'd always answer "That's because they don't have to pay a clerk who knows all about the plants, and can tell you what they are, how to care for them, and how to cure them"

This always went right over their heads...and they still wanted to know how to take care of their cheap, bargan-store plant.

Grrrrr

[Rapscallion]

Back in the days when I was a butcher, I had someone bring in two legs of lamb they'd bought in a sale at a supermarket and ask me to cut them in half, since they wouldn't fit in their freezer.

I was glad to see the back of him.

Rapscallion

[Imogene]

This always went right over their heads...and they still wanted to know how to take care of their cheap, bargan-store plant.

Grrrrr

"Water it," viola, answer solved.

[CrazedClerk]

"Water it," viola, answer solved.

Actually I'd be tempted to launch into a long-winded, entirely BS but plausible sounding explaination of how that particular species does NOT require any water after initial purchase, but I'm evil that way

[BookstoreEscapee]

Actually I'd be tempted to launch into a long-winded, entirely BS but plausible sounding explaination of how that particular species does NOT require any water after initial purchase, but I'm evil that way

You didn't know that irises are really a species of cactus? I thought everyone knew...

[powerboy]

If you call and ask, if we have product X,Y or Z, do not get upset with me, if I ask you to hold on for a second. I do not know every series, we have in stock, as that second in time, or what is ordered.

[Tigress]

I get this all the time at the Big Box when people try to wrangle free tech support from me over the phone. I just tell them that I can't diagnose their problem unless I see the computer myself. Then I offer to either have them come to us or send someone out to them.

Sorry, but I'm not going to give you, for free, the knowledge I worked very hard to obtain.

And, no, I'm not going to clean up your virus-ridden computer for free. Yes, you have a service plan, but that does not cover being a dumbass and installing Limewire and IncrediMail on your computer. That just gives you a discount on the service. Also, you may have the Norton that came onto your computer, but it doesn't do much for you if you let your initial subscription run out and don't bother to do a scan.

[Mr. Rude]

OOOoo....Don't get me started on those gits that don't update/resubscribe their AV...

Kinda like wondering why the car won't run even though you saw that red "oil" light flashing for the past 1,000 km...

That translates into "I own your ass"

Gonna make a bunch of dough off of you for being a ID10T

[DarthRetard]

hehe....pibkac.......man. or the good old btfom.

[MadMike]

Kinda like wondering why the car won't run even though you saw that red "oil" light flashing for the past 1,000 km...

Looks like the piece of tape fell off again.

[EmiOfBrie]

And, no, I'm not going to clean up your virus-ridden computer for free. Yes, you have a service plan, but that does not cover being a dumbass and installing Limewire and IncrediMail on your computer.

IncrediMail I can see, but last I knew LimeWire didn't install malware....

'course, that doesn't stop idiots from downloading malware *via* Limewire thinking it's the latest hot XXX porn *heh*

[Silvercat]

I'm not sure if its malware, but yeah Limewire installs something that all the spyware programs catch.

[HYHYBT]

"Water it," viola, answer solved.

You really shouldn't water a viola. Unless you want it to grow into a cello.