I can't even escape them outside

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Got sent outside unexpectedly today to help water plants.

Toward the end of my time outside I had to get the cordless phone from somebody to call inside to let the people working inside know they should start setting up the carts and pallets for the truck tonight.

As I'm dialing the phone, there's this large-ish older woman nearby looking at plants. Suddenly, I hear a rumbling in the low bass range coming from the general direction of her butt.

I ignore it, thinking there's some other explanation for what I just heard, but as I'm talking on the phone the sulfuric cloud engulfs me. And my co-worker outside tells another co-worker "that lady over there just dropped major ass."

Yup. Woman fucking farted on me.

I'm told when she was checking out, she let another dirty ass bomb drop.

[Shalom]

Better out there than inside. At least you had some flowers you could bury your nose in until the miasma dissipated...

[ralerin]

How nearby is nearby? If less than a couple feet, then yes, disgusting. If more than a couple feet, that's got to be one hell of a digestive problem she has. Which makes it more disgusting.

ETA: It's been sort of drilled into me to apologize if I fart/burp/whatever even if I'm alone in the room. Amuses my coworkers to hear me say "excuse me" for what seems like nothing until they smell for themselves.

[greensinestro]

Gah! I just don't get people who are oblivious and not embarrassed by the bodily dysfunctions they have in public.

[Salted Grump]

Y'know, considering how often Irv gets stuck walking through someone's toxic miasma of death, decay, and ass, It's like his entire workplace is the Real-Life Version of Boatmurdered. Only with less 'Project Fuck-The-World' and more Miasma.

Anyone interested in the reference, can clikc this handy link. Be warned, it's hilariously NSFW. http://lparchive.org/Dwarf-Fortress-Boatmurdered/

[Ironclad Alibi]

Got sent outside unexpectedly today to help water plants. ...

Suddenly, I hear a rumbling in the low bass range coming from the general direction of her butt. ...

Yup. Woman fucking farted on me.

Anyone else think she should have been hosed down since she might have soiled herself?

[Mr Hero]

I kinda think Irv is stuck in an episode of Terrence and Phillip.

[Ironclad Alibi]

I kinda think Irv is stuck in an episode of Terrence and Phillip.

In case someone has missed them, here are Terrance and Phillip. NSFW

[chainedbarista]

i don't think the flowers survived the hit, captain; you'll have to mask it from here.

[blas]

Please tell me that this woman's sulfuric ass kisses didn't kill any plants.

[plantlvr]

That's the cool thing about plants, they clean the air! i have lots in my house

[blas]

I wondered why my bf's family is so insistent on air purifiers.....then when he needed painkillers for his leg and had to take Miralax to counteract constipation.....well.....I found out why.

[morgana]

"sulfuric ass kisses" I'll have to remember that one!

My ex was a master at this. His commanding officer in the Air Force warned me that if I ever fed him beans oftener than once a week, I'd find myself facing a firing squad . . .

[dalesys]

... I'd find myself facing a firing squad . . .

"Sir! I already do! Sir!"

[blas]

My boyfriend calls them hot acidic wet bubbles.