From Smartass to Dumbass in Under 30 seconds

[Kisa]

In todays episode of "Kisa's Sucky Customers", Kisa's customers went from smartass to dumbass in under 30 seconds. I'm unsure of why all the SC's today were like this though. Anyway, on to the suck!!

You can't see me!

Me: *opening spiel*
SC: I want (insert order)
Me: Does that complete your order?
SC: Yeah...
Me: And is your order correct on the screen?
SC: ......
Me: ......
SC: ......
Me: ......
SC: Can I have my total?
Me: Is your order correct on the screen?
SC: I already said yes!!
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
SC: I nodded yes!
Me: ....Sir, the drive thru speaker doesn't have cameras.
SC: .......
Me: I can't see you....
SC: That's stupid...

Coffee Creamer Crazy

SC: *comes in holding a coffee and orders food*
Me: *takes his order and gives him his reciept*
SC: *gets his food and leaves*
Me: *goes back to cleaning the dining room*
SC: *comes back inside and walks over to me*
Me: Can I help you sir?
SC: Yeah you forgot my coffee creamer!
Me: I'm sorry?
SC: I paid for coffee creamer and I want my coffee creamer!
Me: Sir, we don't, nor have we ever, sold coffee products.
SC: Well I just bought a coffee here!
Me: Sir, you walked in with that coffee in a Starbucks cup. If you want creamer, you can go back to Starbucks and get some.
SC: .....*walks away*

Can you hear me now?

Coworker: *opening spiel*
Girl 1-3: *giggling like mad*
CW: Go ahead when you're ready please...
Girl 1: Ok...I want *low mumbling*
CW: I'm sorry, could you please speak up? I can't hear you.
Girl 1-3: *giggling some more*
Girl 1: So you diddn't hear any of that?
CW: No...
Girl 1: Okayyy *giggles* I saaaiidd *mumbling*
CW: I'm sorry, but I still can't hear you.
Girl 1-3: *giggling again*
Girl 1: I said I want chicken taquito's and a sof taco *giggles*
CW: *punches in the order*
Girl 1: Can you hear me now?
Girl 1-3: *giggling*
CW: Yes...
Girl 1: CAN YOU HEAR ME NOWWW?!!
Girl 1-3: *laughing like crazy*
CW: Next window...

Burrito with rice

CW: *opening spiel*
Sucky lady: NO!! I told you, I won't buy your effing drink!!
Sucky Guy: I'm thirsy though!
SL: I don't care!
CW: Go ahead when you're ready...
SL: I want a mexican pizzaaaa aaannnddd what do you want?
SG: I want a meximelt!
SL: Well that's too expensive!!
SG: You're mexican pizza costs twice as much! Don't be cheap!
SL: Don't call me cheap you stupid assho
CW: So do you want the meximelt?
SL: *exaggerated sigh*I guess....
SG: I want that burrito too!
CW: Which burrito?
SL: The 5 Layer Burrito. But I want the one with the rice.
CW: The 5 Layer doesn't have rice. It has beef, beans, cheddar cheese, nacho cheese and sour cream.
SL: I don't want that... I want the one with rice.

At this point, I come in to help CW because she has other customers to take care of. I offered to deal with her and she gratefully accepted.

Me: Mam, we only have one 5 Layer burrito and it doesn't have rice. Did you want a 5 Layer plus rice?
SL: No, I want the burrito with rice.
Me: Which one?
SG: THAT one!
Me: We have at least 5 burritos that have rice. You need to be more specific.
SL: I can't! It's THAT one! The 5 Layer that has rice!
Me: Do you mean the Beefy Melt burrito?
SL: Nevermind... I'll just order at the window
Me: NONONO! MAM YOU CAN....shit...

We don't take orders at the window because:
A) It takes too long and we're on a timer
B) It's unfair to the customers who ordered at the speaker and now have to wait MUCH longer for their order.
I saved her order thus far and when she got to the window...

CW: $6.73 please...
SG: EXCUSE ME?!! We could't order back there!
SL: That girl couldn't understand us so we had to pull up here!
CW: Actually, YOU weren't being clear on what item you wanted and when we were trying to figure it out you drove off.
SL: How was I being unclear?
CW: ...Burrito with rice isn't exactly specific. I can name at least 5 burritos we offer that come with rice.
SL: Ok well I also want...

At this point, the couple(?) proceeds to order throught their bickering while my coworker is pissed off...

CW: Just so you know for next time, we cannot take orders at the window.
SL: But we had to because she
CW: When we take orders at the window, it's unfair to all the customers behind you who followed the rules. Now they all have to wait longer while we make your food. We cannot upset many customers because one refused to order at the speaker.

Hey there, wanna eat my burrito?

Me: Hello! That will be total.
Stupid flirt: Ok... *pays*
Me: *gives change and food*
SF: You know what this is? *holds up burrito in wrapper*
Me: A burrito?
SF: It's my half pound potato burrito. You wanna unwrap it for me?
Me: I'm not allowed to touch customers food without gloves on.
SF: I have a "glove". *puts burrito down in lap* I have a half pound burrito in my lap Wanna taste?
Me: Actually, 8 ounces isn't that much. It's basically a can of soup minus the can.
SF: ...I't a half pound though...
Me: A half pound is 8 ounces.
SF: Oh...
Friend: *laughs hystarically*
SF: SHUT UP DUDE!! *leaves*

[Mr Hero]

Could the Burrito with Rice be the 7-layer?

Nodding through a speaker box? I thought we were smarter than this as a human race.

[Kisa]

Could the Burrito with Rice be the 7-layer?

Nodding through a speaker box? I thought we were smarter than this as a human race.

I hoped so, but alas the SC's have started to de-volve to a whole new level of stupid

[fireheart]

at the last response, and now thanks to you I can no longer look at a burrito the same way

[shankyknitter]

as for the second one:

"Sir I don't think you'd want me to take a bite out of your burrito. It's small enough as it is. And besides why would you want a stranger's Teeth in it?"

[chainedbarista]

Me: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
SC: I nodded yes!

says it all.

[MoonCat]

"Yes, sir, I see you have an extra small burrito."

[MadMike]

SC: I already said yes!!
Me: I'm sorry, I didn't hear you.
SC: I nodded yes!

When I was growing up, the usual response to something like that was, "Sorry, I didn't hear your head rattling."

[Kisa]

I've developed a theory regarding the coffe creamer guy. (it was bothering me)
Guy buys a coffee at Starbucks.
Guy buys food.
Guy realised he forgot to put creamer in his coffee.
Guy decides to go into Taco Place and try to scam free creamer.
Guy is told they don't sell coffee or creamer.
Guy looks like a moron and leaves, knowing if he says another word, it won't make him look smarter.

[BrenDAnn]

That theory on coffee guy sounds about right. As for story #1 I think I'd have had to fight hard not to say "I'm sorry, sir, but I didn't hear the rocks rolling around in your head when you nodded." or something along those lines. The 3rd and 4th stories--ugh. Isn't there a point at which you can refuse service to them? I would think so but then probably not. Most companies want you to put up with whatever the customers does, in the name of "good customer service". Bleh. Burrito guy? Brilliantly played, Kisa. Brilliantly played.

[Jester]

SF: It's my half pound potato burrito.

Poor guy. He's stuck with a small potato burrito, whereas some of us are walking around with large BEEF burritos.

Just saying.

And I didn't even make any jokes about fish tacos, either.

Nodding through a speaker box? I thought we were smarter than this as a human race.

You poor, poor, optimistically deluded soul. There, there. It will be all right.

[seigus]

Guy looks like a moron and leaves, knowing if he says another word, it won't make him look smarter.

That's actually a surprising amount of awareness for an SC.