Art SCs...

[maskedpuppy]

As most of you probably don't know, I frequent the same art website that Bladespark does (and in fact was watching her create wonderful fuzzies since before I ever ran across her stories here!).

I'm not the best artist out there, but I'm alright, and I do get some commissioned work. I've been saving up some of my favorite rude commissioners to post all at once, so...here we go!

Trollin'
SC: Hey, how much would it be to get nine full-colors of my dragon character?
Me: O.O UM. Well if you buy nine of them I'll give you a discount as that's really helpful for me. So...let's say $40? ((usually my prices are $7 for a full color, so he's basically getting three pieces free))
SC: That's not half bad.
Me: I try to keep my prices down. My paypal is x whenever you're ready and I"ll go ahead and add you to the queue!
SC: Oh, I don't want anything. I just wanted to know.

WHY. Why would you do this?! I've pretty blatantly stated that I NEED these commissions to help me pay for my medical expenses, and I do REALLY cheap work. :c It's not nice to lead me on, especially on big sales, cuz I get excited and then horribly disappointed.

Apparently I should have an asshole discount...
SC: I want linework. Paypal?
Me: Oh great, thank you so much! Paypal is x, your total is $6, but I have to warn you that my lines aren't so great thanks to the art software I'm using. Since none of the options I'm offering include plain linework, and it takes a lot more time in my program than the popular ones, I'm gonna go ahead and add an extra $1 to the price.
SC: Sorry, no. I'm not paying $6.
Me: ...may I ask why?
SC: It went from $3 to $6 and your art is not worth that much.
Me: Well, you wanted an adult piece, so that's an added $2 like it says on the commission price sheet...and I added an extra dollar because you want extra work.
SC: I'm not paying that. If you really want the money you'll do it for the price I set.
Me: ...well if those are my only two options...bye.

Aaaand blocked.

I am the most important person in the universe!
This girl is actually a friend of mine who apparently thought that because she was commissioning me and we're sort of friends, her order should jump to the top of the five-person waiting list.

F: So when can you start my commish?
Me: Umm, well I have a bunch of people to go through, and I work a lot this week, soooo let's aim for probably next week at the latest.
F: Noooo! We're buddies, I should get bumped to the top
Me: ...no? xD You bought the cheapest thing out of all the commissions in that queue, you can wait just like everyone else.
F: But that's so looooong I need it for a RP (roleplay) tonight!
Me: >> Sorry.

She got over it and stopped whining at me, but jesus. I was irritated.

I don't even know what to do with that
Same friend lives in Denmark.

F: I wonder if, if I send you the exact equivilant in danish money, will you recieve them in Danish too? That'd be wonderfully annoying.
Me: ...please don't do that.
F: Awww. But you'd have 37 virtual Danske Kroner to always remember me by D: Then you can buy about-... One large soda in case you ever come to Denmark
Me: ...no. If you don't send in USD I can't do it for you. x3 You know that.
F: There we go, sent you the payment in American Freedom Monies.


She's been known to do this before, so it's not like she was only kidding, and she's definitely disappointed I didn't want her Danish money. >> Nothing against Denmark, I just can't use that cash here!

You are not even old enough to know what you're asking for...
This is directly copy/pasted from the private message they sent me. ;n; Now, I make it a habit to check every commissioner's page first to check that they're 18 or older if they're requesting something adult, just to cover my own butt, plus because I don't think kids should be on this site or be allowed to spend money on this stuff...

SC: HEYYY!! i wanna comison
Me: Cool! What were you looking to get?
SC: *reels off long and complicated and VERY adult scene involving multiple characters* how much wud that b??
Me: How old are you?
SC: Im 15 ) but this is my bfs birfday presnt to us lol sinse i turn 16 soon
Me: I can't sell you anything dude. If you're under eighteen you shouldn't even be looking at this type of stuff. I appreciate the interest, have a good one.
SC: nonononono my charrie's age is 15 lol im 19

I just blocked him then and there and reported him to the site admins. >> He had his age plastered all over his account. Kids these days...


Aaand that's about it.

[Flying Grype]

*pats you*

What's the art software with crummy lines that you use? I have GIMP, it's free, and I'm very happy with the linework although I've never tried printing anything I've drawn in it.

http://www.gimp.org

[Dreamstalker]

SC: I'm not paying that. If you really want the money you'll do it for the price I set.

I hate these people...I've gotten that in freelance techsupport as well (ok then...no money, no fixey and you just made my "must pay in advance with an added nuisance tax" list). I'd like to see some of them try that with a $bigchain repair place.

F: I wonder if, if I send you the exact equivilant in danish money, will you recieve them in Danish too? That'd be wonderfully annoying.
Me: ...please don't do that.

I still have some pounds, Euros, and someplace some Honduran paper money which is worth about...2 USD. I can't remember what that was for, a friend was watching my booth and took the money (umm, a global marketplace does not mean I have to accept currency that I can't use!).

SC: *reels off long and complicated and VERY adult scene involving multiple characters* how much wud that b??
Me: How old are you?
SC: Im 15 ) but this is my bfs birfday presnt to us lol sinse i turn 16 soon

O_o OK that's just a bit creepy even if the human is 19.

[Comechatcha]

Yeesh. I can't draw worth dung, but even I know how insulting it is for someone to insist that my work is worth half the price I set it to. If they want something uber cheap, they can use clip art.

Glad you didn't give into these yodels.

[Kanalah]

:ffers chocolate::

Ugh, I'm sorry you have to deal with morons. I always find it so sad to see artists charging uber-cheap prices for thier work just to get business. Then people think all art/drawings/paintings/whatever should be uber cheap. I think the least expensive lineart I commissioned was $20 and even I thought that was too low.

[spark]

Yeah, the underage one would be WORSE if that was the character, and the owner was an adult, imho. I mean... okay, I have one underage character, but I don't go around commissioning explicit porn of that one! (Of any of them, usually, I'd rather have sexy pinups than explicit stuff, really.)

*Waves hi*

[The Electric Fetus]

there's no such thing as 'currency you can't use'. take it to most banks and they will exchange it at the prevailing exchange rates.

[NorthernZel]

there's no such thing as 'currency you can't use'. take it to most banks and they will exchange it at the prevailing exchange rates.

But the bank will also charge an exchange fee, thus you end up with less money. If the amount is low enough one'll end up owning money to the bank instead

[spark]

there's no such thing as 'currency you can't use'. take it to most banks and they will exchange it at the prevailing exchange rates.

The phrase "virtual" in there makes me pretty sure they're talking about currency via paypal. In which case there is most definitely a fee for converting it. So they'd end up with significantly less money, significantly more hassle, and a bad deal all around.

[Captain Trips]

"I will pay in Danske Kroner."
"No, I need U.S. dollars."
"I don't have U.S. Dollars, but Danske Kroner will be good enough."
"No, they won't! What are you, some kind of a Jedi? Those tricks don't work on me!"

[Dreamstalker]

there's no such thing as 'currency you can't use'. take it to most banks and they will exchange it at the prevailing exchange rates.

In my case, the Honduran currency's face value is 30. After bank fees, with the prevailing exchange rate I would owe them money. That day my inventory was off by one $30 item...it's pretty clear to me what happened (all the money-taker saw was that the paper money totaled to 30). That person no longer helps out.

[EricKei]

Yeesh, such lovely people...There is one good way to weed some of them out, though. Charge what your work and time are worth. As in, just go ahead and double the fees. If you're charging seven bucks for something that takes you more than about 30-40 minutes from start to finish (including touch ups and revisions from a preview, if applicable), you're selling yourself short. $14 for a custom bit of art on letter-sized paper, or say $18-20 for the same in "adult mode"...all plus postage and insurance, if they want it, sounds quite reasonable these days.

Keep in mind that people have this annoying tendency to value things based on what they paid for them. A limited edition, number one-of-500, poster featuring Picasso that they got for free may not even make it to the wall, but something you put your heart into and charged twenty bucks for would likely at least end up in a frame ^_^

Also, setting a minimum price scares off some of the Lowest Common Denominator. Plus, if you are asking fifty bucks for a detailed, complex piece and they waffle on it, this give you room to let them haggle just a little and still make enough for it to be worth your while.

[Kogarashi]

Thankfully (or sadly? for the purposes of posting on this site) I have yet to deal with commissioners like that. Of course, I generally don't freqent the same site as you and spark (I'm pretty sure), so I don't have quite the same demographic that's almost guaranteed to give me work. At least so far the people who've commissioned me at conventions have been pretty sane. Or disappointed that I wasn't able to draw their favorite character from memory when I've never seen the show in question, but they never really got to the "customer" stage.

What's the art software with crummy lines that you use? I have GIMP, it's free, and I'm very happy with the linework although I've never tried printing anything I've drawn in it.

Color me curious too.

I'm fairly rubbish at doing my lineart digitally. Everything either comes out too sketchy-looking and rough to clean up properly (though suitable for digital sketches), or I end up drawing the same tiny line twenty times trying to get it just right. My preferred method is to ink by hand on paper, then run it through the LiveTrace tool in Adobe Illustrator. I love that tool. As a bonus, that gives me a vector copy of my lineart.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Apparently I should have an asshole discount...

Noooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!! We'd all be broke...what we really need is an asshole SURCHARGE

[Seshat]

Side note, there is also Inkscape, a free vector graphics program. As with the Gimp, the philosophy of its creators is that volunteer-created software can be made available for free.