Fun for the new guy

[Arghetlam]

A wee bit of background: I work at a web design web hosting company, which I will simply call SW. Now, we have a whole four employees - we have a girl in public relations, my friend, LJ, his dad, LS, and then me.

Now, I started about a week or so ago, and I've been doing pretty well - I have my routine down, and they keep me busy either doing this or that, or learning code on occasion (.htaccess is a BITCH), but it's a pretty slick gig.

I digress, though.

I have a couple stories to tell from the phone, so bear with me here.

I'm important!
This one happened Monday or so, when we learned that one of our clients websites went down harder than an epileptic at a rave. So, LS and LJ are busy doing their code monkey thing, and I'm doing my learning Google Analytics thing, when I get a phone call.

Me: Good afternoon, thank you for calling SW, how can I help you today?
CS: Yes, is LS available?
Me: Um, he's currently working with another client right. . .
CS: I'm a customer!

Holy shit! You're a customer!? I never would have guessed, considering you called us and are asking for LS! Thank you for informing me of this absolutely vital information!

Me: As I said, he's currently working with another client. . .
CS: Is LJ available?
Me: He's currently working with another client as well; would you like me to-
CS: When are they going to be done?

Okay, guy, look. I'm not going to tell you what's going on behind the scenes. But LS [i[and[/i] LJ are working on someone else's problem - another [i[customer's[/i] problem. Just like you're having right now.

Me: I can't say for sure, but I'll make sure and have one of them give you a call back when they're done. Can I take down some basic information?
CS: (actually gives me his information pretty readily. Amazing, considering the amount of tooth pulling I've been doing.) The problem he needs to be concerned with is. . .
Me: (While he's reading off the error, I go and check his website. Which is working. With no sign of the error [i[anywhere[/i].
Me: Okay, got it. I'll make sure LS gives you a call as soon as he's done.
CS: Thank you.

Okay, guy, look. I know you're having issues with your website. It happens. That's why we're here, to fix these errors. However, had you called earlier, like when you first found out about this error, you might not be waiting.

First come first serve, guy. It's a simple concept.

Are you sure?
Me: Good morning, thank you for calling SW, how can I help you today?
Confused Customer: Yes, i'm looking for AF, is she in?

I wouldn't know this until later that day, but AF was one of the previous owners of this place, and either moved to another place or something like that, but either way, she's not here. However, my moment of brilliance:

Me: Um, we don't have an AF.
CC: Are you sure?
Me: This is SW. . .
CC: Oh, I must have a wrong number!

Understood, we all make mistakes. however, you should have picked up on the fact that something was wrong when I answered by saying, "Thank you for calling SW." Possibly when I said, "We don't have an AF" might have also been a tip-off. Just some food for thought. While talking right after I've done our opening speil might make you feel all intelligent, asking for someone who I've said isn't here, and then asking for them [i[again[/i] kind of ruins the illusion.

I had a bit more sympathy after I found out that SW used to be run by an AF, but, hey, everyone makes mistakes, right?

Considering the call volume I get per day (rarely more than I'd say eight or nine), not a bad pull.

[PepperElf]

CS: I'm a customer!

As if all the other customers stop existing because Mr. High & Mighty is on the phone?
I can imagine sometimes you just wanna say, "So are the other customers." but then they'd probably get their panties in a bind that you dare suggest they're not more important than the other paying customers.

[EricKei]

CS: I'm a customer!

I'm torn between two responses to this one:

- "He's a customer, which, of course, outranks a client...right? "

- "OMG a Customer!" *rings the klaxon and screams to the others* "CUSTOMEEEEEEEEEEEER!" ... "Oh thank GOD you called, Sir, we've been in business for over a decade now and we've never had any actual Customers...Please, please, how may we serve thee? "

[Andara Bledin]

- "OMG a Customer!" *rings the klaxon and screams to the others* "CUSTOMEEEEEEEEEEEER!"

No, no, no... You're supposed to yell, "We got one!" right before hitting the klaxon.



^-.-^

[EricKei]

No, no, no... You're supposed to yell, "We got one!" right before hitting the klaxon.

Damn you. The song from that scene is now playing in my head...Wait, it's pretty catchy, so, uh, undamn you...or something

("Cleaning Up the Town" -- I used to own the soundtrack on vinyl )

[Opalin]

went down harder than an epileptic at a rave

this, this is an epic description.

- "OMG a Customer!" *rings the klaxon and screams to the others* "CUSTOMEEEEEEEEEEEER!" ... "Oh thank GOD you called, Sir, we've been in business for over a decade now and we've never had any actual Customers...Please, please, how may we serve thee? "

*whispers, quick, get the chloroform, we don't want to lose this one as well!*

[fma_fanatic]

[QUOTE=PepperElf;907601]As if all the other customers stop existing because Mr. High & Mighty is on the phone? [quote/]

Darn tootin'

I can imagine sometimes you just wanna say, "So are the other customers." but then they'd probably get their panties in a bind that you dare suggest they're not more important than the other paying customers.

Oh I wished this all.the.time. when I was still on the phones. We'd get that one SS who thought their poop smelled of roses and that they were the be all and end all of customers.

I so wanted to tell them that they were not our only customers and that our techs were working as fast as they could to do their repairs. Nope, not good enough.

Or that the sales reps they wanted were out at an important (read: mandatory) meeting and would be in later. Nope, not acceptable. How dare they not be sitting at their desks twiddling their thumbs waiting for them to call. How.dare.they.