The Usual

[Gaki]

100 Dollars

Don't bring it.

Me: Do you have anything smaller?
SC: They're all the same size, hyuk hyuk.
Me: *not in the mood* Do you have a card?
SC: I don't wanna use it.
Me: Okay then, *drops the $100 bill in the safe and pulls out 100 dollars in ones and fives*
SC: Whoa whoa whoa, wait a minute, I have a money clip, I can't have that in there!
Me: This is all I'm authorized to give, if you give me a hundred this is what's going to happen.
SC: Can't I have 20s?
Me: I don't HAVE 20s.
SC: Tens?!
Me: I don't HAVE tens. That's why I asked you if you had anything smaller.
SC: Oh my God...Jesus...okay, can I take it back, I'll use the card.
Me: I can't open the safe to get it back once it's in there. *counts all the change* This should be 90 dollars.
SC: *stares at brick of bills* Uhhhh..........shit. It shouldn't take this long to change a 100 dollar bill, why the...oh my god...I don't...can't we..........fuck this. *takes stack of bills and leaves.*

Hey. I Hate You.

SC: (While standing where there IS NO REGISTER) HEY, HEY YOU.
Me: *looks up from what I'm doing*
SC: GIVE ME NEWPORT, 100s!
Me: ..................right. I have a register over here.
SC: *Huffy sigh and walks over to my register*
Me: They're 6.06.
SC: How much?!
Me: 6.06.
SC: ...hmmm...*roots through wallet*

Really? You were going to have me give you cigarettes when there WAS NO REGISTER to scan them and then you didn't even know what you were supposed to give me or how much money you had? Sounds like you were gonna run off with them and you wanted to pick the person you thought would be confused enough to hand them over. Uh yeah, I've worked there WAY longer than any of the other guys who were at their registers and I'm the LEAST scatterbrained. Nice try.

Fiddeen.

The word "fiddeen" might mean something to you but it certainly does not mean anything to me. Is it a code word that's supposed to start the apocalypse? You obviously have given your code word out to the wrong person. There are several of us girls who work here who look the same so I can understand your mistake but I'm terribly sorry for your misfortune. There will be no end of days today. What's this twenty dollar bill for? A tip for breaking the last of the Beams? No thank you, it's just a pleasure to use my psychic powers, I don't need payment. Oh...wait...you wanted twenty prepaid. Oh well which pump?

Fiddeen...fiddeen...

FIFTEEN. Ah. Mystery solved. Go die in a fire.

[BrenDAnn]

1) PWNED. I bow to you for that, Gaki. I only wish I could get away with doing that to some of my $100 bill toting SCs! As a side note though, you don't start with anything higher than $5's? Security thing perhaps?

2) I HATE THIS! My register is over here by the window, genius, not over there wherever you're at. Get your sorry ass over here if you want to be rung up.

3) Ah, people and their pronunciation (or lack thereof) of things. Makes the job so much more fun.

[Food Lady]

Sorry you have to deal with it, but fiddeen gave me a laugh I so desperately need today. Thank you.

[XCashier]

I HATED those jerks who insisted on paying for a tiny purchase with a $100 bill! Usually first thing in the morning too. Then, of course, they get so huffy and bent out of shape when they get a thick stack of fives and ones for change. Dumbass, you need a $100 broken, go to a bank! Or better yet, when you get money from your check, request $20s or smaller. Trust me, nobody is impressed with your penis substitute $100 bill.

Great pwnage. I hope it teaches him a lesson, but sincerely doubt it will.

[Bright_Star]

I HATED those jerks who insisted on paying for a tiny purchase with a $100 bill! Usually first thing in the morning too. Then, of course, they get so huffy and bent out of shape when they get a thick stack of fives and ones for change. Dumbass, you need a $100 broken, go to a bank! Or better yet, when you get money from your check, request $20s or smaller. Trust me, nobody is impressed with your penis substitute $100 bill.

Great pwnage. I hope it teaches him a lesson, but sincerely doubt it will.

Why would someone in this day & age carry that much money on them? That's just asking for trouble. Most amount of cash I carry on me is $25.

[Irving Patrick Freleigh]

Fiddeen...fiddeen...

And it's semi-local cousin: Fiddy (50).

[roguesqd]

nothing makes me happier then when someone gives us a hundred right after I have went to the bank and have nothing but 1's and 5's, love the look when you give them that lovely stack

[teh_blumchenkinder]

oh-- oh that was AWESOME, Gaki! Pwnt. Almost broke rule #1, even XD He he he, finally, someone who gets that paying with that much gets you a brick.

[42_42_42]

Enunciation. It's a good thing.

[hornet95]

Why would someone in this day & age carry that much money on them? That's just asking for trouble. Most amount of cash I carry on me is $25.

It takes over $50 to fill my van. But I wouldn't pay for a $2 soda with a $100 unless it was on a really busy day. I mean, it does make counting easier if you have 15 $100s rather than 150 $10s in the drawer/safe.

[XCashier]

Why would someone in this day & age carry that much money on them? That's just asking for trouble. Most amount of cash I carry on me is $25.

Because they're showing off. They think having a $100 bill in their wallet makes them look like Warren Buffet or something.

Or they just like being jackasses, looking for a reason to yell at a cashier, and the cashier not being able to break their big bill is a good enough reason.

Either way, yeah, anyone stupid enough to flaunt their money like that almost deserves to be robbed.

[It's me]

Awesome pwnage! But I gotta ask... if you have to drop large bills in the safe right away, doesn't that leave you open to someone handing you a twenty and then insisting it was a fifty or a hundred?

[EricKei]

1) PWNED. I bow to you for that, Gaki. I only wish I could get away with doing that to some of my $100 bill toting SCs! As a side note though, you don't start with anything higher than $5's? Security thing perhaps?

Pretty much. Anywhere I've ever worked, cashiers and registers start the day with a limited amount of coins, 1's, and MAYBE 5's, depending on how much was left over from the prior night. Anything larger goes into the safe and straight to the bank when the Deposit is made each night. Some places have til's as small as $100 (keep in mind that coins are as much as $30 depending on how many extra rolls they have to give out). The general idea is to have enough to give people change for reasonably-sized bills, and that the til will accumulate some extra 5's and 10's as the day drags on...which is why you see so many places that say "no bills over $20".

It's worse when the idiots who want $90 change come in first thing in the morning, cuz then either (a) There won't BE enough to give them and the cashier will have to go to Customer Service, or (b) That will drain the til and the cashier will have to make everybody ELSE wait as she gets more bills from Customer Service. Either way, this makes it worse for everybody else. Note that the people who want the $90 change ALMOST always have smaller bills or other forms of payment handy on them. Apparently, they think they're impressing someone. Aside from the shady guy with a knife in his pocket who's been shadowing them for the last five minutes, probably not.

[roguesqd]

Yep, our tills start with $100, and if I have already done the change run I have NO bills in the store larger then a $5, so if you are the first in and you have a $100, you are getting a lot of 5's

[BrenDAnn]

Our tills start with $100, but it includes three $10s so I guess I didn't really think about it. It makes sense though. Thank you, EricKei & roguesqd!