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So, to preface this wonderful story, a few things:
1. I havent had an SC for a good four days or so until this, so I was past due.
2. There's a large Finnish community right near my store, and
3. I don't speak Finnish, so communication can be difficult.
I'm going to do this one differently, in third person. let's see if this works...lol...(some parts have been embellished, can you tell?)
We catch up with our hero, the smashingly handsome and all around brilliantly omnipotent lover of animals and all things ska, DarthRetard. Darth is a simple, easy to understand and loving fellow, always treating his customers with courtesy and respect as he would have them do to him. Darth sometimes goes to great lengths for his customers beyond what is encouraged by RS employees.
One day, our hero goes into work one morning on his day off to help fill in for his co-worker who had an angioplasty. Darth was on a roll today, taking no prisoners as he made sale after sale, conquering the cheap, milking the not-so-cheap, and finding affordable solutions for everyone. The town was joyful and celebrating of Darth's wonderful and gracious blessings and accomplishments. His tag-making skills are unmatched, and his prowess on the sales floor is only complemented by his knowledge of how-to instructions on universal remotes and tv installation.
Little did our hero know that on February the 8th, the year of our lord 2007, he would meet a foe beyond any he has ever faced: The Angry European Customer From Finland With An Attitude Problem That Needs Some Adjusting, or as we will refer to him, Bojangles. Now, Bojangles was a sad lonely man, living off of eating his own feces and smearing urine on car doors for practical jokes, because he's better than every one else. One day, Bojangles, being the genius that he was, decided to buy a camera he didn't know how to operate. Thusly, he decided to try and have someone set it up for him and waste their time instead of his own, not even trying to see what was where. He decided to go to Radioshack, because at 7.50 an hour, they love to do useless non-profit things that like that, he decided...
As the day begins, our hero walks through the door, but not first before seeing flocks of birds fly away from him, and smelling sulfur and brimstone in the air. He could sense pain and suffering all around him, but he did not know why. However, he knew something may be going on. What he did NOT know, was how he was going to face an opponent tougher than any girlfriend, more stubborn than any mother, more insulting than Jerry Springer and Montel's love child, and more unabashedly retarded than Rosie O'Donnell licking poison arrow dart frogs.
The customer walks into the store, and along with the customer notification bell, Darth hears a faint breeze blow across the store. A tumbleweed rustles across the floor, and a faint whistle and a coyote howl can be heard faintly in the distance. The showdown was only moments away, and Darth would be caught totally unprepared.
Seeming like an easy problem, our daring sales associate with lightning efficiency retrieves the customer's battery request with the speed of an impala on crack, never missing a beat. The customer then makes a pretty standard request, to open a camera and put a battery in...However, darth wasn't familiar with this brand, and the battle begins....
Keeping his cool and staying in stride, our hero calmly asks the customer to show him where the battery compartment was. Insisting that everyone at the store knows everything about everything, of course, the gentleman from Finland demanded that Darth do it. Little did this customer realize, that Darth is not liable for any mishaps, the store/company is.
Seeing through a little plastic screen what looked like a window, Darth ventures and opens it. Too late as he realized the film had been exposed. Realizing his mistake, Darth willingly and honestly offers to give the battery to the customer free of charge as reimbursement. Thinking that the customer will be satisfied and appeased, Darth makes his offer clear. Little did Darth know, that this customer was trained in the Ways of the Suck. He was a Suck Lord.
Hoping to bring balance to the force, Darth again attempts the offer. The customer uses his powers of mindfuck and deflects it with a statement of "No, no. You pay yourself for filament. You pay." Darth tried valiantly to fight him off with explaining his side and that he was not liable for such mistake, and that it was being reimbursed through the battery. Once again using more of his Dark powers of the Suck, the devious Suck Lord put a mental choke on Darth by trying to insult his competence.
"Maybe you work somewhere better, like publix. You no good at work. You no good at job. Publix better for you. You go there. I want my money." Weakened and battered, with no backup, as his manager was in the back taking care of some other things, Darth summoned what was left of his power of Retail, and made one last ditch effort sacrifice to save his job and his sanity. He gave the Suck Lord five dollars, as the villainous creep paid for his battery, basiclaly losing 32 cents on tax. Darth was mentally worn, and as the customer left, he collapsed to the floor, foaming at the mouth and babbling something about "Panda monkeys from Nepal..."
An elderly couple rush to his aid, helping him recover and bringing back his power of kindness by replenishing him with +5000 customer kindness. Our hero was victorious, and even though a little shaken, he had conquered his foe once again and emerged victor and champion of all things retail! There was much rejoicing (heyyyyy....) and dancing in the streets! Beautiful women rushed to him to have their breasts signed, and babies kissed on the forehead. Animals followed him loyally, and men gave their undying pledges to him as Knights of The Retail Counter.
Tune in next time to hear more tales of our fellowship of brave heroes in their travels across customer suckdom.
Can I spin a Yarn or What? this is a true story, btw.
1. I havent had an SC for a good four days or so until this, so I was past due.
2. There's a large Finnish community right near my store, and
3. I don't speak Finnish, so communication can be difficult.
I'm going to do this one differently, in third person. let's see if this works...lol...(some parts have been embellished, can you tell?)
We catch up with our hero, the smashingly handsome and all around brilliantly omnipotent lover of animals and all things ska, DarthRetard. Darth is a simple, easy to understand and loving fellow, always treating his customers with courtesy and respect as he would have them do to him. Darth sometimes goes to great lengths for his customers beyond what is encouraged by RS employees.
One day, our hero goes into work one morning on his day off to help fill in for his co-worker who had an angioplasty. Darth was on a roll today, taking no prisoners as he made sale after sale, conquering the cheap, milking the not-so-cheap, and finding affordable solutions for everyone. The town was joyful and celebrating of Darth's wonderful and gracious blessings and accomplishments. His tag-making skills are unmatched, and his prowess on the sales floor is only complemented by his knowledge of how-to instructions on universal remotes and tv installation.
Little did our hero know that on February the 8th, the year of our lord 2007, he would meet a foe beyond any he has ever faced: The Angry European Customer From Finland With An Attitude Problem That Needs Some Adjusting, or as we will refer to him, Bojangles. Now, Bojangles was a sad lonely man, living off of eating his own feces and smearing urine on car doors for practical jokes, because he's better than every one else. One day, Bojangles, being the genius that he was, decided to buy a camera he didn't know how to operate. Thusly, he decided to try and have someone set it up for him and waste their time instead of his own, not even trying to see what was where. He decided to go to Radioshack, because at 7.50 an hour, they love to do useless non-profit things that like that, he decided...
As the day begins, our hero walks through the door, but not first before seeing flocks of birds fly away from him, and smelling sulfur and brimstone in the air. He could sense pain and suffering all around him, but he did not know why. However, he knew something may be going on. What he did NOT know, was how he was going to face an opponent tougher than any girlfriend, more stubborn than any mother, more insulting than Jerry Springer and Montel's love child, and more unabashedly retarded than Rosie O'Donnell licking poison arrow dart frogs.
The customer walks into the store, and along with the customer notification bell, Darth hears a faint breeze blow across the store. A tumbleweed rustles across the floor, and a faint whistle and a coyote howl can be heard faintly in the distance. The showdown was only moments away, and Darth would be caught totally unprepared.
Seeming like an easy problem, our daring sales associate with lightning efficiency retrieves the customer's battery request with the speed of an impala on crack, never missing a beat. The customer then makes a pretty standard request, to open a camera and put a battery in...However, darth wasn't familiar with this brand, and the battle begins....
Keeping his cool and staying in stride, our hero calmly asks the customer to show him where the battery compartment was. Insisting that everyone at the store knows everything about everything, of course, the gentleman from Finland demanded that Darth do it. Little did this customer realize, that Darth is not liable for any mishaps, the store/company is.
Seeing through a little plastic screen what looked like a window, Darth ventures and opens it. Too late as he realized the film had been exposed. Realizing his mistake, Darth willingly and honestly offers to give the battery to the customer free of charge as reimbursement. Thinking that the customer will be satisfied and appeased, Darth makes his offer clear. Little did Darth know, that this customer was trained in the Ways of the Suck. He was a Suck Lord.
Hoping to bring balance to the force, Darth again attempts the offer. The customer uses his powers of mindfuck and deflects it with a statement of "No, no. You pay yourself for filament. You pay." Darth tried valiantly to fight him off with explaining his side and that he was not liable for such mistake, and that it was being reimbursed through the battery. Once again using more of his Dark powers of the Suck, the devious Suck Lord put a mental choke on Darth by trying to insult his competence.
"Maybe you work somewhere better, like publix. You no good at work. You no good at job. Publix better for you. You go there. I want my money." Weakened and battered, with no backup, as his manager was in the back taking care of some other things, Darth summoned what was left of his power of Retail, and made one last ditch effort sacrifice to save his job and his sanity. He gave the Suck Lord five dollars, as the villainous creep paid for his battery, basiclaly losing 32 cents on tax. Darth was mentally worn, and as the customer left, he collapsed to the floor, foaming at the mouth and babbling something about "Panda monkeys from Nepal..."
An elderly couple rush to his aid, helping him recover and bringing back his power of kindness by replenishing him with +5000 customer kindness. Our hero was victorious, and even though a little shaken, he had conquered his foe once again and emerged victor and champion of all things retail! There was much rejoicing (heyyyyy....) and dancing in the streets! Beautiful women rushed to him to have their breasts signed, and babies kissed on the forehead. Animals followed him loyally, and men gave their undying pledges to him as Knights of The Retail Counter.
Tune in next time to hear more tales of our fellowship of brave heroes in their travels across customer suckdom.
Can I spin a Yarn or What? this is a true story, btw.
. I pretty much told them, that I am a Dee Dee Dee, when it comes to this stuff. Sure, I can hook up computers, and get onto the internet, but how to install, things like the hard-drive & what-not, I am not your man. Just at that moment, my coworker, came back from lunch, and I had him help them.
I usually don't read ANY manuals, unless the product is unfamiliar to me, has features I have not used before or unless there's a problem to solve.
). Much fun.
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