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My god today has been SC hell. It's not even lunch and I've already had a several SC's (this is very long and mostly me ranting, but I gotta get this out before I explode)
First call of the day (this was an omen I swear)
Me: [typical canned greeting]
SND (sucky non dealer, at micro machines man speed IE really fast): Hi i need to activate a phone my dealer number is (unintelligible) and the ESN is xxxxxx
Me: Whoa, hold on please. You need to slow down sir I can't understand you. Now I got that you needed an activation, but what did you say your dealer code was please.
SND: (repeats dealer code, I can understand it this time) – Do you need the ESN now?
Me: Actually, no. What area code would you like to activate?
SND: xxx (again very fast) and the esn is.....
Me: (getting annoyed that hes going so fast) Not something I need yet. Sir, I understand that you might be in a hurry, but understand I have a procedure I have to follow, you trying to go so fast is actually making things take longer than they would if you would wait for me to ask for the information I need. Now, I realize I forgot to ask this and I'm sorry, but you gave me the dealer code xxxx, what is the name of the store associated with that dealer code please.
SND: (wrong answer)
Me: I'm sorry thats not the name we have associated with the code xxxx, is it possible you have a DBA (doing business as) or that the name you've given me is the DBA and your account is listed under the corporate name?
SND: Man don't give me that sh** my dealer number is xxxx and the name is (wrong answer again, different wrong answer than before)
Me: (points out that I have been given 2 wrong answers)
SND: Man Fxxx this.... *click*
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Later on...
Me: [usual greeting]
SC: Yeah man I need to add minutes to my phone
Me: Ok, whats your cellular number please?
SC: xxx-xxx-xxxx
Me: Ok and is that going to be with a prepaid phone card or a credit card?
SC: A prepaid card.
Me: Ok and whats the Pin number printed on the card please?
SC: Gives number which comes back as an invalid card. IE the card he has is not ours or we have never printed it. This was really close to the format we use.
Me: Ok that came back invalid do any of the numbers look like they could possibly be different? (this is a common occurrence, more often than not the cards are very difficult to read)
SC: Gives last 4 numbers as possible a 0 or an 8 instead of a 6 (IE he had something like 0673 and wa saying it was 0073 or maybe 0873)
Me: Ok, well 0073 comes back invalid as well. 0873 comes back as a card that was loaded to your account on the 8th.
SC: So your trying to say I'm scamming you?
Me: No sir (actually, yes yes you are and, be more original than this man, we see this at least once if not five times a day) that is not what I said, all I said was the card you have was already used. Is it possible you maybe accidentally got it mixed up with the new card you have?
SC: Man I ain't never tried to steal nothin in my life, try it again.
Me: Sir I've tried what you've given me, it came back as used. If you have a different number I can try that.
SC: Man Fxxx you *click* (seems to be the common response I'm getting today)
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Me: Typical canned gretting
SC: Insert very long explanation of problem. Boiled down we made a mistake and put her credit card payment on the wrong phone number. (this was not the card holder calling, obviously mans name and woman speaking)
Me: Ok, I'm assuming you are not the card holder? Is that correct?
SC: No I'm not.
Me: Is the card holder available to speak with?
SC: Not right now no.
Me: Ok, as a security measure we need the card holder to call in to confirm that the minutes were in fact added to the wrong phone number and that he wants them moved. ( this is a bottom line policy, I'm hoping the reasons should be obvious)
(insert long argument over said policy with me simply repeating myself, I relent and call a supervisor to see what we can do)
(this is about 6 minutes after the call started mind you)
J: (supervisor) Hey Chanlin what's up?
Me: explains situation
J: Oh, “them” again.
Me: Oh so you already know about this one.
J: Yep. They gave me a different story than what you just told me though which is yet one more red flag on their part. Basically these guys sound like they're trying to scam us. They have several different numbers using the same credit card. The original order also came back as a bad billing address as well. Needless to say we canceled the original order. They are more than welcome to try a new payment, I doubt it will go through given the circumstances.
Me: Ok, Well the person I have now isn't even the card holder so I don't think they will be doing a new order.
J: Alright, anything else Chanlin?
Me: Hopefully no but the way this is going you may be hearing me again in a few moments. (J got a chuckle out of this as did I)
(to customer) Ok ma'am I spoke with a supervisor regarding the original order and as it turns out the card was declined so the charges never went through.
SC: So what are we going to do about my minutes then?
Me: Well since the charges did not go through there aren't any minutes that have been added to any account using the credit card in question. Now, if you want we can start a new order.....
SC: No my card was charged I need those minutes moved. You guys messed up not me, and you need to correct your mistake. (at this point I'm thinking to myself our only mistake was processing the order in the first place)
Me: Ok, the credit card was declined, so there won't have been any charges to the account.
(insert more arguing insisting the card was charged with me again repeating myself for about 3 minutes)
Me: Ok, Ma'am if it was in fact charged then you should be able to call the your bank and dispute the charge and they can call us and we will confirm that the card came back as declined and should not have been charged.
SC: Well what number were they put on?
Me: What?
SC: What number were my minute loaded to?
Me: (you can't be serious) There were no minutes loaded anywhere the card was declined Ma'am.
SC: But my card was charged.
Me: Again, if it was charged then you should call your bank to dispute that charge, but as far as our records show the card was declined and should not have been charged. Now, is there anything else that I can help you with today (man thats such a loaded question but its the universal get the hell off my phone message)
SC: Yeah, you guys can give me my fxxxin money back.
Me: Ok, I've already explained our stance on that transaction, is there anything aside from that we can help you with?
SC: Man, fxxx you guys and fxxx your company *click* (are we sensing a trend yet?)
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Take 4
Me: [same greeting, different SC]
SC: Yeah I can't access my voice mail.
Me: Ok, whats your cellular phone number?
SC: xxx-xxx-xxxx Now I was told I needed to dial #xxx to access the voice mail is that correct?
Me: Yes it is, if you're calling it from your cellular phone. From a land line you just need to call your number and then press # when your voice mail answers the line.
SC: Ok I tried that too and it didn't work.
Me: Ok, are you on your cellular phone now?
SC: No, i'm on my home phone.
Me: Ok I'm going to call your cell phone, if you would for me can you turn it off please.
SC: Ok, its off.
Insert testing here, voice mail is working fine. Had customer turn on phone, called again, rang and customer answered,
Me: Well Ma'am everything seems to be in order (repeat voice mail instructions)
SC: Well what about my phone not calling out?
Me: I'm sorry?!?
SC: Yeah I “told” you it aint callin out. (When?!?) What should I do about that.
Me: Well can you try to call out and tell me what happens then please.
SC: Ok. It said your call can not be completed.
Me: Ok, did it give you a minute balance first or did you just hear the error message?
SC: It told me I have xx minutes, thats not right I should have (larger number, which incidentally is the starting balance for new accounts).
Me: Ok, have you been able to use your phone at all since you purchased it?
SC: Yeah, it just stopped workin' today.
Me: Ok, well I show on the records that the phone's initial balance was reset to (starting balance) yesterday and since then those minutes have been used. (incidentally the balance as far as I'm concerned should not have been reset to begin with because the minutes were clearly used. Also I have the benefit of seeing the same calls that used the minutes the first time are the same phone numbers that have been dialed recently, so bottom line this lady scammed us out of several free minutes already)
Insert an inane amount of arguing, some further tests in which she is saying the phone is not calling out and still saying 17 minutes. Every now and then she mentions voice mail which I repeat we already tested the voice mail and it is working just fine. Finally I'm getting fed up because were just going in circles and no amount me telling her there is nothing wrong with the account will be accepted.
Me: Ok, Ma'am on this on as far as the call records are showing the calls are connecting to the numbers you are dialing, I see nothing wrong. If you would for me can you put me on speaker phone, dial a number and then hold your cell phone to the phone your on so I can hear the error message you are getting. (Bingo, she clams up and starts trying to refuse to let me hear the Error)
SC: Well, thats really not going to be very easy for me.....
Me: Can you do it though please?
SC: Ok, one moment. (fumbles around......) Ok did you hear it?
Me: No, can you try again please?
SC: (fumbles around some more. I can hear the minute report telling how many minutes the account has and then click) Did you get that?
Me: Well I got the minute message but there was no error message you cut the call off too soon.
SC: Well it's not calling out.
Me: I need to hear that error message to be able to help you, otherwise as far as I'm concerned extensive testing is showing that your account is in order and everything is working just fine.
SC: So you won't help me?
Me: Ma'am in my professional opinion there is nothing wrong with your phone or your phone service.
SC: And how much is that worth?
Me: (restraining growl) I've been with Brand Cellular for 4 years now, so I'm very confident that my diagnosis is correct.
SC: Well is your opinion worth the (initial balance, this is equivalent to $14) that I never got?
Me: Ma'am as far as I show on the call records the phone started with the appropriate balance which was used, then a supervisor reset that balance to the initial starting balance which was then used again. In both cases calls to the same phone numbers used up the minutes. So as far as I am concerned this account got twice the initial balance it was supposed to get.
SC: Well I never got my minutes I want you to check with a supervisor to get it reset.
Me: (ok if it gets you the hell off my phone why not)
(I got J again)
J: Hey Chanlin, just couldn't stay away could ya.
Me: (laughs) I need you to tell me no J. (J is cool everyone here likes him because he's fairly laid back, but firm on policies)
J: Ok whats the cell number.
Me: (gives number) They are asking us to reset the initial balance because they never got it.
J: Ok, one sec. (I hear J typing, probably pulling up call records) Wow, they did get it, twice even. And they're trying to say they didn't get it.
Me: Yep, thats why i need you to tell me no.
J: Ok, no. Anything else Chanlin?
Me: Nope (relays info to SC)
SC: Well I never.... I (string of expletives deleted) and I'm never using your Fxxxin service again *click*
(AUGHHHHHH)
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And to add the proverbial icing to the cake we've been slammed all %$%&$ day............... *sigh*
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Incidentally I started writing this before lunch, its 2 hours after lunch now and things aren't getting any better
I just want to go back to bed........
PS: This was a not sucky one just before this post but I have to share because its actually quite funny
Customer: Yes, I need to add minutes to my secular phone please. (since when did phones have a religious preference of any kind??)
I appologize again for the very long post but I needed to get this rant out to save my sanity
First call of the day (this was an omen I swear)
Me: [typical canned greeting]
SND (sucky non dealer, at micro machines man speed IE really fast): Hi i need to activate a phone my dealer number is (unintelligible) and the ESN is xxxxxx
Me: Whoa, hold on please. You need to slow down sir I can't understand you. Now I got that you needed an activation, but what did you say your dealer code was please.
SND: (repeats dealer code, I can understand it this time) – Do you need the ESN now?
Me: Actually, no. What area code would you like to activate?
SND: xxx (again very fast) and the esn is.....
Me: (getting annoyed that hes going so fast) Not something I need yet. Sir, I understand that you might be in a hurry, but understand I have a procedure I have to follow, you trying to go so fast is actually making things take longer than they would if you would wait for me to ask for the information I need. Now, I realize I forgot to ask this and I'm sorry, but you gave me the dealer code xxxx, what is the name of the store associated with that dealer code please.
SND: (wrong answer)
Me: I'm sorry thats not the name we have associated with the code xxxx, is it possible you have a DBA (doing business as) or that the name you've given me is the DBA and your account is listed under the corporate name?
SND: Man don't give me that sh** my dealer number is xxxx and the name is (wrong answer again, different wrong answer than before)
Me: (points out that I have been given 2 wrong answers)
SND: Man Fxxx this.... *click*
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Later on...
Me: [usual greeting]
SC: Yeah man I need to add minutes to my phone
Me: Ok, whats your cellular number please?
SC: xxx-xxx-xxxx
Me: Ok and is that going to be with a prepaid phone card or a credit card?
SC: A prepaid card.
Me: Ok and whats the Pin number printed on the card please?
SC: Gives number which comes back as an invalid card. IE the card he has is not ours or we have never printed it. This was really close to the format we use.
Me: Ok that came back invalid do any of the numbers look like they could possibly be different? (this is a common occurrence, more often than not the cards are very difficult to read)
SC: Gives last 4 numbers as possible a 0 or an 8 instead of a 6 (IE he had something like 0673 and wa saying it was 0073 or maybe 0873)
Me: Ok, well 0073 comes back invalid as well. 0873 comes back as a card that was loaded to your account on the 8th.
SC: So your trying to say I'm scamming you?
Me: No sir (actually, yes yes you are and, be more original than this man, we see this at least once if not five times a day) that is not what I said, all I said was the card you have was already used. Is it possible you maybe accidentally got it mixed up with the new card you have?
SC: Man I ain't never tried to steal nothin in my life, try it again.
Me: Sir I've tried what you've given me, it came back as used. If you have a different number I can try that.
SC: Man Fxxx you *click* (seems to be the common response I'm getting today)
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Me: Typical canned gretting
SC: Insert very long explanation of problem. Boiled down we made a mistake and put her credit card payment on the wrong phone number. (this was not the card holder calling, obviously mans name and woman speaking)
Me: Ok, I'm assuming you are not the card holder? Is that correct?
SC: No I'm not.
Me: Is the card holder available to speak with?
SC: Not right now no.
Me: Ok, as a security measure we need the card holder to call in to confirm that the minutes were in fact added to the wrong phone number and that he wants them moved. ( this is a bottom line policy, I'm hoping the reasons should be obvious)
(insert long argument over said policy with me simply repeating myself, I relent and call a supervisor to see what we can do)
(this is about 6 minutes after the call started mind you)
J: (supervisor) Hey Chanlin what's up?
Me: explains situation
J: Oh, “them” again.
Me: Oh so you already know about this one.
J: Yep. They gave me a different story than what you just told me though which is yet one more red flag on their part. Basically these guys sound like they're trying to scam us. They have several different numbers using the same credit card. The original order also came back as a bad billing address as well. Needless to say we canceled the original order. They are more than welcome to try a new payment, I doubt it will go through given the circumstances.
Me: Ok, Well the person I have now isn't even the card holder so I don't think they will be doing a new order.
J: Alright, anything else Chanlin?
Me: Hopefully no but the way this is going you may be hearing me again in a few moments. (J got a chuckle out of this as did I)
(to customer) Ok ma'am I spoke with a supervisor regarding the original order and as it turns out the card was declined so the charges never went through.
SC: So what are we going to do about my minutes then?
Me: Well since the charges did not go through there aren't any minutes that have been added to any account using the credit card in question. Now, if you want we can start a new order.....
SC: No my card was charged I need those minutes moved. You guys messed up not me, and you need to correct your mistake. (at this point I'm thinking to myself our only mistake was processing the order in the first place)
Me: Ok, the credit card was declined, so there won't have been any charges to the account.
(insert more arguing insisting the card was charged with me again repeating myself for about 3 minutes)
Me: Ok, Ma'am if it was in fact charged then you should be able to call the your bank and dispute the charge and they can call us and we will confirm that the card came back as declined and should not have been charged.
SC: Well what number were they put on?
Me: What?
SC: What number were my minute loaded to?
Me: (you can't be serious) There were no minutes loaded anywhere the card was declined Ma'am.
SC: But my card was charged.
Me: Again, if it was charged then you should call your bank to dispute that charge, but as far as our records show the card was declined and should not have been charged. Now, is there anything else that I can help you with today (man thats such a loaded question but its the universal get the hell off my phone message)
SC: Yeah, you guys can give me my fxxxin money back.
Me: Ok, I've already explained our stance on that transaction, is there anything aside from that we can help you with?
SC: Man, fxxx you guys and fxxx your company *click* (are we sensing a trend yet?)
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Take 4
Me: [same greeting, different SC]
SC: Yeah I can't access my voice mail.
Me: Ok, whats your cellular phone number?
SC: xxx-xxx-xxxx Now I was told I needed to dial #xxx to access the voice mail is that correct?
Me: Yes it is, if you're calling it from your cellular phone. From a land line you just need to call your number and then press # when your voice mail answers the line.
SC: Ok I tried that too and it didn't work.
Me: Ok, are you on your cellular phone now?
SC: No, i'm on my home phone.
Me: Ok I'm going to call your cell phone, if you would for me can you turn it off please.
SC: Ok, its off.
Insert testing here, voice mail is working fine. Had customer turn on phone, called again, rang and customer answered,
Me: Well Ma'am everything seems to be in order (repeat voice mail instructions)
SC: Well what about my phone not calling out?
Me: I'm sorry?!?
SC: Yeah I “told” you it aint callin out. (When?!?) What should I do about that.
Me: Well can you try to call out and tell me what happens then please.
SC: Ok. It said your call can not be completed.
Me: Ok, did it give you a minute balance first or did you just hear the error message?
SC: It told me I have xx minutes, thats not right I should have (larger number, which incidentally is the starting balance for new accounts).
Me: Ok, have you been able to use your phone at all since you purchased it?
SC: Yeah, it just stopped workin' today.
Me: Ok, well I show on the records that the phone's initial balance was reset to (starting balance) yesterday and since then those minutes have been used. (incidentally the balance as far as I'm concerned should not have been reset to begin with because the minutes were clearly used. Also I have the benefit of seeing the same calls that used the minutes the first time are the same phone numbers that have been dialed recently, so bottom line this lady scammed us out of several free minutes already)
Insert an inane amount of arguing, some further tests in which she is saying the phone is not calling out and still saying 17 minutes. Every now and then she mentions voice mail which I repeat we already tested the voice mail and it is working just fine. Finally I'm getting fed up because were just going in circles and no amount me telling her there is nothing wrong with the account will be accepted.
Me: Ok, Ma'am on this on as far as the call records are showing the calls are connecting to the numbers you are dialing, I see nothing wrong. If you would for me can you put me on speaker phone, dial a number and then hold your cell phone to the phone your on so I can hear the error message you are getting. (Bingo, she clams up and starts trying to refuse to let me hear the Error)
SC: Well, thats really not going to be very easy for me.....
Me: Can you do it though please?
SC: Ok, one moment. (fumbles around......) Ok did you hear it?
Me: No, can you try again please?
SC: (fumbles around some more. I can hear the minute report telling how many minutes the account has and then click) Did you get that?
Me: Well I got the minute message but there was no error message you cut the call off too soon.
SC: Well it's not calling out.
Me: I need to hear that error message to be able to help you, otherwise as far as I'm concerned extensive testing is showing that your account is in order and everything is working just fine.
SC: So you won't help me?
Me: Ma'am in my professional opinion there is nothing wrong with your phone or your phone service.
SC: And how much is that worth?
Me: (restraining growl) I've been with Brand Cellular for 4 years now, so I'm very confident that my diagnosis is correct.
SC: Well is your opinion worth the (initial balance, this is equivalent to $14) that I never got?
Me: Ma'am as far as I show on the call records the phone started with the appropriate balance which was used, then a supervisor reset that balance to the initial starting balance which was then used again. In both cases calls to the same phone numbers used up the minutes. So as far as I am concerned this account got twice the initial balance it was supposed to get.
SC: Well I never got my minutes I want you to check with a supervisor to get it reset.
Me: (ok if it gets you the hell off my phone why not)
(I got J again)
J: Hey Chanlin, just couldn't stay away could ya.
Me: (laughs) I need you to tell me no J. (J is cool everyone here likes him because he's fairly laid back, but firm on policies)
J: Ok whats the cell number.
Me: (gives number) They are asking us to reset the initial balance because they never got it.
J: Ok, one sec. (I hear J typing, probably pulling up call records) Wow, they did get it, twice even. And they're trying to say they didn't get it.
Me: Yep, thats why i need you to tell me no.
J: Ok, no. Anything else Chanlin?
Me: Nope (relays info to SC)
SC: Well I never.... I (string of expletives deleted) and I'm never using your Fxxxin service again *click*
(AUGHHHHHH)
------------------------------------------------------
And to add the proverbial icing to the cake we've been slammed all %$%&$ day............... *sigh*
------------------------------------------------------
Incidentally I started writing this before lunch, its 2 hours after lunch now and things aren't getting any better
I just want to go back to bed........PS: This was a not sucky one just before this post but I have to share because its actually quite funny
Customer: Yes, I need to add minutes to my secular phone please. (since when did phones have a religious preference of any kind??)
I appologize again for the very long post but I needed to get this rant out to save my sanity
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