I don't care if your Grandma died; SMILE!

[Kisa]

This one happened 5 or so months ago.

Background first.

My grandma has had cancer 4 times and survived. Breast cancer, throat cancer, breast again, then tongue cancer. She was a very fit woman who never smoked, ate properly and took good care of herself. It would always be: she feels sick, goes to the doctor, gets the news, calls each of her children (my dad) in tears about how scared the is, she goes through treatment, gets better, and is eventually declared cancer-free. The 5th time, the doctors found a tumor in her throat. They operated to remove it, but were unable to get it all. The tumor grew to the point where it was unoperable. She recieved treatments for it, but it got so bad she had to stay in the hospital. I visited her as much as possible and had to watch her waste away. She was eventually moved to hospice and died a few weeks later. I got the news at 8 at night and called my manager, in tears telling her I couldn't come to work tomarrow. She said not to worry, she was sorry to hear about my loss, and I could take as much time as I needed.

I took 2 days off, but then returned to work on the 3rd day because I felt guilty for inconveniancing everyone. Also, at home I stayed strong to be a rock for everyone else. I thought I could carry that same strength with me through work. I was wrong. I kept tearing up and would have to go in back to cry whenever someone brough it up. It was rough, but all my coworkers were very supportive and most of the customers could tell that I was on the verge of tears and were very nice.

End B/G.

This guy walked in and was obviously very pissed off about something. I was having enough trouble focusing as is, but he decided to make things harder and try to order at the speed of light. When I asked him to repeat it back, slowly, he got more irritated and repeated it really slowly.

SC: I saaaiiiddddd.......nnnaaacchhoooooo....beeelllllgr rraaannnddeeeee......mmiinnuuuusssss

I started getting teary. He kept it up. I eventually got his order rung up and was about to tell him his total when he cut me off to say:

SC: You're not very friendly are you. Didn't your boss teach you about "service with a smile"?

My eyes blurred with tears. I knew I couldn't finish the transaction like that, so I walked away into the office and told my manager to go help the asshole at the counter. She insisted I tell her what happened. I don't know how understandable I was, but she walked up there anyway after she got me some tissues. I was told later what happened.

M: Hi. That will be Total.
SC: That other girl ran off. I was about to leave.
M: Yes, she did. She came to get me to finish the transaction in her place.
SC: You should give her a lecture on good customer service. She wouldn't smile at me, then left without a word.
M: She isn't smiling because her grandma passed away 2 days ago and she didn't say anything because she is crying.
SC: If she can't smile, she shouldn't be here! It's unfair to customers!
M: Please pay for your food. Now.

I guess the jerk felt a little bad because he shut up after that. Or he saw that my manager wasn't about to do anything he wanted. She took over while a few of my coworkers gave me hugs until I calmed down enough to go back to work.

[Bright_Star]

I feel for your loss. Too many people out there are heartless.

[RootedPhoenix]

*hugs Kisa* I'm sad that that happened to you.

(Sad that your grandma passed away, and sad that anyone could be so mean.)

[protege]

I lost my grandmother last year

Most of my coworkers were pretty nice about the entire situation. They knew that she was a big part of my life, and they had my back. I simply wasn't myself--I had her health issues on my mind...as well as my dad's. Grandma had a stroke, and was in pretty bad shape. The stroke had left her weak down one side, and confined to her bedroom.

While all of this is going on, my dad was having some issues as well. He was having trouble breathing at the gym one day, and was rushed to the hospital. Dad was (eventually) diagnosed with some heart issues, including low blood pressure.

With all of that crap going on, my coworkers were awesome. They really put up with more than they should have. They knew what was going on, and told me not to worry about it. If I had to take time off, they'd deal with things.

Not so my boss. He actually gave me shit when I told him what was going on. Apparently, I'm supposed to be concerned *more* about my job when there's family tragedy. Keep in mind that he didn't even go see *his* mom when her health was failing. He didn't even go to her funeral. Asshole.

Anyway, all my family's problems simply made things worse. He started picking out every single error I supposedly made, and he seemed to enjoy giving me shit about it. After a couple of days of this, I'd had it. After several days of being snapped at, I was ready to throttle him. But, because he's my boss, that wasn't happening.

After several days of dealing with that shit, I'd had enough. I got screamed at because one number in a spreadsheet was wrong. As I'm getting yelled at, the pen I was holding....suddenly snapped in half Coworker Amy's eyes got as big as Jupiter, since I'd just snapped a *brass* pen in half!

[Little Retail Rabbit]

You have my symmpathies *hug* My grandfather died on cancer about 10 years ago now. Its very hard to watch someone succumb to that.

I was still at school at the time, but it still shocks me how completely heartless some people are. I had a little time off school to deal with the grief and then attend the funeral. The day I went back in, I had a note from my parents that I showed to each of my teachers explaining why I had been absent (the office knew) and everyone was really nice...except for my cunt biology teacher. She decided to slap me with a detention for not doing a homework she had set on one of the days that I was off. Her reasoning for it was that I should have called someone in the class to ask what the homework was. There were a few friendly students in that class, but I'm not totally exaggerating when I say I had no real friends in my class, and I'm not exaggerating at all when I say I certainly didn't have anyone's phone number.

I didn't want to bother my parents with it, so I just sucked it up and did the detention. Fortunately, later that year I was moved classes and the new teacher was better.

Same sort of thing happened a couple of years later in college. My Japanese teacher was...well...very Japanese! She didn't really make excuses for cultural differences! When my other grandfather and step grandfather died of cancer within a week of each other and then my boyfriend dumped me, I was in a bit of a state. My friends in the class were concerned for me, but I came into class one day, a bit quiet, but also a bit happier than normal. Chieko kept me at the end of the class to tell me off as nicely as she could about "not smiling" in class, and that by "not smiling" I was distracting my friends from their work. I told her about my grandparents but apparently this was insufficient an excuse. You know, I love Japanese culture, but damn that woman was annoying.

[ArcticChicken]

Same thing happened to me when my Grandma died. I was working at a grocery store, only went in because I was scheduled to stock, not much people interaction. Wound up getting called up to check, and a woman started screaming at me because I wasn't cheerful, told her my grandma just died "That's no excuse!!"

[tropicsgoddess]

What a heartless asshole!

[underemployeed]

Yeah, when my grandma wasn't doing to well and was in the ICU on a ventilator with cancer and a whole bunch of other problems and not really coherent, I informed my profs of the situation and that I might have to get up and leave on a moments notice as things were very touch and go. Most understood, and told me not to worry they would make sure I got brought back up to speed. I had one tell me, pretty much his classroom was the only thing that mattered.... then my roommate was actually cracking jokes about my grandma, he had to go stay in another room for 2 weeks for fear of his safety.

[Jester]

I can understand the guy being miffed about not getting good customer service while he was ignorant of what was going on. But once he was informed....

SC: You should give her a lecture on good customer service. She wouldn't smile at me, then left without a word.
M: She isn't smiling because her grandma passed away 2 days ago and she didn't say anything because she is crying.
SC: If she can't smile, she shouldn't be here! It's unfair to customers!

...that is when he goes from "clueless customer" to raging fucking asshole douchewipe motherfucker.

Unfair to customers? UNFAIR TO CUSTOMERS? The DECENT thing to do in that situation is to humbly apologize, explaining that you didn't know. Period. To say the situation is "unfair to customers" is the height of douchebaggery, and frankly, this fucktard should be told that it's unfair to EMPLOYEES that they have to deal with a walking shitstain like him. Fucker.

Yeah, I know. I should really open up and say how I REALLY feel. I'm working on that.

...my coworkers were awesome.

Not so my boss. He actually gave me shit when I told him what was going on. Apparently, I'm supposed to be concerned *more* about my job when there's family tragedy.

Not exactly the same, but I had to deal with an idiot manager when my grandmother died in 1990. I was working at a restaurant at the time, and when I got the news, I went in to tell them I would not be there for my next shift, and that I might even be flying to New Jersey for the funeral. Well, while the manager was fine with it, the head waitress/mid-level manager was standing there listening to our conversation, and when I said that my grandmother had died (having never ducked out of shifts previously for bullshit-type reasons, mind you), she looked at me skeptically and asked, very patronizingly, "Did she really?"

Yeah. Bad move.

I turned to her with fire in my eyes and smoke coming out of my ears and said, in a very quiet, very chilly voice, "Would you like me to bring in her fucking corpse?"

Yeah, she didn't question me after that. When you're bullshitting your way out of work, you don't react like THAT. And frankly, I was ready to punch her in the face, woman or not, but luckily she was smart enough to back off, and my manager was smart enough to shuffle me off in another direction. As I've said many times, it takes a whole lot to get me angry, but I was absolutely livid. This was not my father's mother who I barely knew, this was my mother's mother who I had grown up knowing my whole life, who had turned me on to dried apricots (aka fruit crack to me), whose nurse had made me milkshakes when I had broken my jaw, whose house was the one constant residence growing up, due to my parents moving at the drop of a hat. (By my fourth birthday I was in my fourth state.) This was the person who, outside of my parents, was the most important person in the world to me. And, after I've had perfect attendance at the job since I started, you're going to question me on something like this? Fuck you. Go piss on someone else's grave, you walking piece of shit.

Yeah, 21 years later, I still get pretty ticked off thinking about it.

I had a little time off school to deal with the grief and then attend the funeral. The day I went back in, I had a note from my parents that I showed to each of my teachers explaining why I had been absent (the office knew) and everyone was really nice...except for my cunt biology teacher.

I had something somewhat similar (though it did not involve a teacher) when my father died. I was 10 years old and in fifth grade. When I went back to school after I don't know how much time off, all the teachers were great, and all of the kids, even the ones I didn't get along with and the ones who bullied me were pretty cool....except for this one kid, Michael, who had been for years one of my chief tormentors. He continued to be an ass, and I continued to ignore him. Until he made the mistake one day shortly thereafter of making some crack about my father.

This kid was bigger than me, and had pushed me around for years, and had every physical advantage over me that was possible, including size and strength. However, when those words passed his lips, all his advantages went to shit. They literally had to pry my hands from around his throat before sending him to the nurse's office.

He kept clear of me after that. Very clear. I honestly think I would have strangled him to death if they had not separated us. That was the first time in my life I had any idea that I could do something like that, that I was capable of something that violent, especially against someone physically my superior. Of course, I didn't realize its true significance until many years later.

Same thing happened to me when my Grandma died. I was working at a grocery store, only went in because I was scheduled to stock, not much people interaction. Wound up getting called up to check, and a woman started screaming at me because I wasn't cheerful, told her my grandma just died "That's no excuse!!"

This woman belongs in the category of the assclown from the OP, of being unfit to be in human society, and of being deserving of a broken glass enema.

[emax4]

The guy was clearly an asshole. and... I'm not taking his side.. but shouldn't you have taken another day or two off? I would think your employer gives bereavement time as mandatory time off in events like this. I'm sure your effort to go in was appreciated, but even after you teared up here and there, I'm wondering why the store manager just didn't have you working in the back away from customers so nobody would get to you, or even just send you home for another day or two.

When I go somewhere and get waited on, whether it be at a grocery store, restaurant or any retail place, I don't expect people to smile, but I would feel awkward if they were crying. I'd reach out and ask what's wrong, but I would still feel awkward.

[Bardmaiden]

I had this happen to me too, I went back to work a few days after my sisters partner passed away. On the top till really busy I was fine if a bit quiet, wasn't the smiley person I usually was but not rude. Two hours into my shift I had a woman (I use that term because I can't use the words I'd prefer to use) turn around to me and tell me to smile because I /should/ because that is my job. I politely explained that I had just lost someone close to me and was not feeling very good. She said "Well you shouldn't come into work then" in a really snotty tone of voice. I said that I would try to be better then and she stalked off.

I then began to process the next customer and broke down in tears. The lovely lady who had heard what I had said went and got another member of staff who took over but I was really upset and had to go home. I didn't go back to work (I had only two days left on the job).

[Jester]

She said "Well you shouldn't come into work then" in a really snotty tone of voice. I said that I would try to be better then and she stalked off.

And SHE shouldn't be out and about in polite society.

...a woman (I use that term because I can't use the words I'd prefer to use)

I, however, have no such compunction. Please, allow ME.

[deep breath]

That raging cuntbag harpy bitch fuckrag DOUCHEwaffle needs to shut the fuck up. Who exactly does she think fucking is? The Queen of All That Needs To Be in Customer Service? Fuck her insensitive ass. She should have her mouth washed out with battery acid. This is the kind of woman that should be anally probed with a splintered broomstick...and afterwards, you'd feel bad for the broomstick. Listen, lady, when someone close to YOU dies, let's see how happy happy joy joy you feel at work. Assuming you fucking work and aren't a parasitical gold digger leeching off some unsuspecting (and probably incredibly stupid) man, having him go out and work for the money you spend as you dispense lectures to wayward customer service employees. Why don't you plug up that spewhole you call a mouth for just a second and fucking THINK about what you're saying? Assuming, of course, you can manage to rub two working brain cells together in that cavernous dome of yours without causing a spark that would light your hair on fire.

In short, shut your mouth before I get out the fucking duct tape.

There.

My work here is done.

NEXT!

[Eisa]

^



I'm sorry, Kisa. My grandmother passed away in March. At the beginning of spring break, actually, which was nice in that I was the only one who stayed at the dorm, so if I decided to just burst into tears, I could do that and no one would know. I don't think I even told any of my roommates what happened, come to think of it...[they were douchewaffles, anyway].

What an unbelievable asshole.

[emax4]

You shouldn't have to hold back either. Eventually though, management might draw the line somewhere. I'm sure there have been incidents where and employee has had someone close that passed away, and the person tried to keep getting extra days of because they were such an emotional wreck. Eh, I still think you should have been given more time off. Not everyone can be as brave as you had by coming in. Sucky customers only make it worse.

I too am sorry for your loss.

[BeenThereDoneThat]

Oh, Kisa...I'm so sorry, honey. Your grandmother sounds like a wonderful woman, and it's so sad that she went through so much pain and suffering. You have the ABSOLUTE RIGHT to grieve and in fact if you don't your physical and mental heath will suffer greatly. Too bad there are such clueless asshats out there who feel like they have the right to dictate how you can feel or what you can show or not show when dealing with them. You did absolutely nothing wrong with him and even if you did, the customer should have felt like shit the minute he found out WHY you didn't "smile". GRRRRRRR!!!!!

My grandparents are all long gone now...my parents were a bit older when they had me and my brother, so they're the ones that are elderly now. My mom turned 84 this month and my dad turned 74 last week (yes, my dad is younger). Dad has Parkinson's, which is not very advanced but it's so hard to tell how it will progress. Mom has various ailments that are probably common for someone her age, fortunately nothing very serious at the moment...but I am still dreading those days to come. Please accept my deep and sincere condolences on the loss of your beloved grandmother...