Hey everybody, long time no see. I have since switched jobs back from being a call center rep back to my wonderful job selling donuts and coffee. The switch was extremely refreshing, and I'm really happy to be back at a job that isn't so stressful. The pay cut was so worth it. 
That said, that doesn't mean I don't still get sucky customers.
I get this too often
Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?
SC: A medium iced latte with cream and sugar!
Me: Lattes aren't actually made with cream. They're an espresso shot made with mostly milk.
SC: ... Wat?
Me: When lattes are made, they're made using a shot of espresso and then adding milk to it. There's no cream involved. I can still add sugar though if you'd like.
SC: Wat?
Me:
Would you like that made with whole milk or skim milk?
SC: .. Whole milk?
I don't think I'll ever understand people who order food at a restaurant without knowing what it even is.
HOLD STILL!
Since our store remodeled in January, we've had the addition of a big round pink sign to hang over our pickup window that says "Pick up food here". At first, I thought the sign was a clever idea and would help us organize our customers better. But the sign is just used when they've ordered food that needs to be cooked down at the deli, and when it's made, deli walks it over to the pick up sign and calls out what it is. So when I'm making something simple like a single cup of coffee, or turning around and taking two steps to get a donut from the case, I'll usually say something like "I'll be right back with that donut". But no matter what I say or how clear I try to make it, I still get dozens upon dozens of customers who will walk across the entire store to that pick up sign, causing me to turn around and not see where they went and have to chase them down. Is it really that hard to hold still when I say I'll be right back?
Coffee details
SC: Can I have a medium coffee?
Me: Would you like cream or sugar?
SC: Skim and three splenda.
^See, this alone isn't bad. But when I go through this up to fifty times during a day, it makes me wonder why you think I'll psychically know your coffee without you telling me. I'd love to go one day without having to ask about cream or sugar.
SC: Can I have an iced coffee? Extra cream, six splenda, extra caramel swirl and a turbo shot.
Me: (waiting patiently for them to finish) ... What size?
Not knowing the size first puts me at a disadvantage when taking an order for more than one reason - our registers actually ring in the size first for a coffee, so if I don't know the size beforehand, I can't ring any of those details about the coffee in until the SC finishes and I finally have a moment to ask what size they want their complicated coffee. Once again, this is something that's annoying because it happens fifty times a day.
STOP. GUESSING!
I can't express this enough. It's really hard for me to figure out what you want when you're saying things like "That iced drink thing", "That chocolate frosted... thing", "That new sandwich thing you have"... Thing doesn't tell me what it is! Thing confuses me just as much as it confuses you! There is a menu. I'm more than happy to explain any of the items to you (I really am, explaining the menu is actually fun for me). I'd much rather you ask instead of guessing what it is first. Because then what I'll get you will be accurate.
What's funny though is that small children ten and under will look at our donuts, read the labels and tell us what kind of donuts they want, but adults will always, always just point at the donut and say "I want that one!".
You Know That Will Kill You, Right?
Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?
Customer: A medium coffee with cream and 14 splenda.
Me:
Please pull up to the window.
He gets this every day. Recently he dropped down to 12 splenda. From what I understand, the body can't even digest splenda. Horrifying. But I'm not about to tell him what he can or can't drink... unfortunately.
She didn't give me my Croissant!
I got my very first customer complaint against me a couple weeks ago.
Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?
SC: Do you have something called... a chocolate chip muffin...?
Me:
Yeah, we have chocolate chip muffins! (That's what we call them anyway.
)
SC: One of those please, and a medium coffee... and a toasted croissant with strawberry cream cheese.
I take her money, give her her coffee and the muffin, and say "I'll be right back with that croissant." While I was making the croissant, the lady left with her muffin and coffee. Brain burps happen though, I figure she'll notice she's only got her muffin and will be back for her croissant shortly. Instead, we get a call twenty minutes later for my manager. I guess the lady screamed at my boss saying "SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME MY CROISSANT!" my manager asked me about it, and I explained what happened. My manager explained that it takes a minute to toast the croissant and put the cream cheese on it. The lady wouldn't have it though. She demanded a refund over the phone. But really though...? You had a bag with your muffin in it. Is it really that hard to just look in the bag to make sure you have everything you ordered before you leave the store? At first I thought this lady was just scamming for a refund, but then she never showed up at the store. Huh. At least she had what we "call a chocolate chip muffin."
Pet Peeves
The more I work in customer service, the more the little things bother me.
Me: Hi, how are you today?
SC: Medium coffee cream and sugar.
Me: Hi, ho-
SC: Can I get a classic egg and cheese with bacon on a bagel?
Is it really that hard to answer a simple question? It's just good manners.
SC: How are ya?
Me: I'm good, ho-
SC: I want an iced latte.
STOP INTERRUPTING ME!
Meh, I think that's all I can think of for now.
I love my job, but the little things really build up after a while.

That said, that doesn't mean I don't still get sucky customers.
I get this too often
Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?
SC: A medium iced latte with cream and sugar!
Me: Lattes aren't actually made with cream. They're an espresso shot made with mostly milk.
SC: ... Wat?
Me: When lattes are made, they're made using a shot of espresso and then adding milk to it. There's no cream involved. I can still add sugar though if you'd like.
SC: Wat?
Me:

SC: .. Whole milk?
I don't think I'll ever understand people who order food at a restaurant without knowing what it even is.
HOLD STILL!
Since our store remodeled in January, we've had the addition of a big round pink sign to hang over our pickup window that says "Pick up food here". At first, I thought the sign was a clever idea and would help us organize our customers better. But the sign is just used when they've ordered food that needs to be cooked down at the deli, and when it's made, deli walks it over to the pick up sign and calls out what it is. So when I'm making something simple like a single cup of coffee, or turning around and taking two steps to get a donut from the case, I'll usually say something like "I'll be right back with that donut". But no matter what I say or how clear I try to make it, I still get dozens upon dozens of customers who will walk across the entire store to that pick up sign, causing me to turn around and not see where they went and have to chase them down. Is it really that hard to hold still when I say I'll be right back?
Coffee details
SC: Can I have a medium coffee?
Me: Would you like cream or sugar?
SC: Skim and three splenda.
^See, this alone isn't bad. But when I go through this up to fifty times during a day, it makes me wonder why you think I'll psychically know your coffee without you telling me. I'd love to go one day without having to ask about cream or sugar.
SC: Can I have an iced coffee? Extra cream, six splenda, extra caramel swirl and a turbo shot.
Me: (waiting patiently for them to finish) ... What size?
Not knowing the size first puts me at a disadvantage when taking an order for more than one reason - our registers actually ring in the size first for a coffee, so if I don't know the size beforehand, I can't ring any of those details about the coffee in until the SC finishes and I finally have a moment to ask what size they want their complicated coffee. Once again, this is something that's annoying because it happens fifty times a day.
STOP. GUESSING!
I can't express this enough. It's really hard for me to figure out what you want when you're saying things like "That iced drink thing", "That chocolate frosted... thing", "That new sandwich thing you have"... Thing doesn't tell me what it is! Thing confuses me just as much as it confuses you! There is a menu. I'm more than happy to explain any of the items to you (I really am, explaining the menu is actually fun for me). I'd much rather you ask instead of guessing what it is first. Because then what I'll get you will be accurate.
What's funny though is that small children ten and under will look at our donuts, read the labels and tell us what kind of donuts they want, but adults will always, always just point at the donut and say "I want that one!".

You Know That Will Kill You, Right?
Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?
Customer: A medium coffee with cream and 14 splenda.
Me:

He gets this every day. Recently he dropped down to 12 splenda. From what I understand, the body can't even digest splenda. Horrifying. But I'm not about to tell him what he can or can't drink... unfortunately.
She didn't give me my Croissant!
I got my very first customer complaint against me a couple weeks ago.
Me: Hi, what can I get for you today?
SC: Do you have something called... a chocolate chip muffin...?
Me:


SC: One of those please, and a medium coffee... and a toasted croissant with strawberry cream cheese.
I take her money, give her her coffee and the muffin, and say "I'll be right back with that croissant." While I was making the croissant, the lady left with her muffin and coffee. Brain burps happen though, I figure she'll notice she's only got her muffin and will be back for her croissant shortly. Instead, we get a call twenty minutes later for my manager. I guess the lady screamed at my boss saying "SHE DIDN'T GIVE ME MY CROISSANT!" my manager asked me about it, and I explained what happened. My manager explained that it takes a minute to toast the croissant and put the cream cheese on it. The lady wouldn't have it though. She demanded a refund over the phone. But really though...? You had a bag with your muffin in it. Is it really that hard to just look in the bag to make sure you have everything you ordered before you leave the store? At first I thought this lady was just scamming for a refund, but then she never showed up at the store. Huh. At least she had what we "call a chocolate chip muffin."

Pet Peeves
The more I work in customer service, the more the little things bother me.
Me: Hi, how are you today?
SC: Medium coffee cream and sugar.
Me: Hi, ho-
SC: Can I get a classic egg and cheese with bacon on a bagel?
Is it really that hard to answer a simple question? It's just good manners.

SC: How are ya?
Me: I'm good, ho-
SC: I want an iced latte.
STOP INTERRUPTING ME!

Meh, I think that's all I can think of for now.

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