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"Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the first place was that it had been NAILED there."
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You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem! --From Patch Adams -
"NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!""I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"Comment
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No, no, wrong sketch. But clever use of it. We certainly weren't expecting it.Quoth BeenThereDoneThat View Post
Yes, yes, I know."NOBODY expects the Spanish Inquisition!"PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.
There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!Comment
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Yeah, I don't have the Dead Parrot sketch memorized...yet
"I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"Comment
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I'll send you a spare copy. Most of have us a few, I should think ^_^Quoth BeenThereDoneThat View PostYeah, I don't have the Dead Parrot sketch memorized...yet
*seeks out for the platform for the train to Notlob*Last edited by EricKei; 08-07-2011, 02:43 AM."For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - meComment
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Quoth EricKei View Post
LOL...thanks. We actually have the 16(?)-DVD box set of Monty Python's Flying Circus. Here's a quote I do remember...
"...it has ceased to be!""I was only LOOKING, I didn't mean to enter my card's CVV and actually ORDER! REFUND ME RIGHT NOW!!"Comment
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I don't know about that cause some people are seriously computer illiterate. My mom had a friend years ago that had a computer for I forget how long. I think it was a few months old. It was brand spanking new, never used, never turned on and she said she didn't know how to hook it up. It was just sitting out of the box on a computer desk. I mean the plugs were color coded as well as the ring to the ports where they went. Plug the shit into the power strip. Everything was pretty self explanatory.Quoth ApolloSZ View Post
The lady wanted to pay me like $50 or something and my mom wouldn't let me take it saying "he'll do it for free." I remember just sucking it up. It was easy work like putting on shoes and my mom knew that it was a piece of cake for me but yea. Afterwards the lady said "that's all you had to do"? It took me 5 minutes or so to get it plugged up and booted up. Some people are stone cold illiterate to computers.Comment
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I would often say to my now-former GM, "Boss, I have a stupid question." To which he would reply, "Jester, there are no stupid question." To which I would reply, reminding him of the dumbest question I've gotten in the last two years, "Really? Is that Mount Gay Rum a rum designed for gay people to drink?"Quoth hotelslave View Post
Boss:
"Okay, Jester, you're right. There ARE stupid questions. Now...what did YOU need?"
Ahem....allow me.Quoth csquared View Post
It's passed on! This moss is no more! It has ceased to be! It's expired and gone to meet its maker! It's a stiff! Bereft of life, it rests in peace! If we hadn't put it on the plant it'd be pushing up the daisies! Its metabolic processes are now history! It's off the twig! It's kicked the bucket, it's shuffled off this mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-MOSS!!!!
"The Customer Is Always Right...But The Bartender Decides Who Is Still A Customer."
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Apparently, you need to explain to your mom what the term "Stupid Tax" means...and make sure you get paid in advance.Quoth Willis View Post"For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - meComment
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That's ok, I cheated.Quoth BeenThereDoneThatYeah, I don't have the Dead Parrot sketch memorized...yet
You're focusing on the problem. If you focus on the problem, you can't see the solution. Never focus on the problem! --From Patch AdamsComment
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You should have replied. "This moss is no more. It his ceased to be. It is a stiff, bereft of life, it has gone to meet its maker. It is Ex moss!"
Edit: After reading the rest of the replies, I see that Jester beat me to it.Last edited by Mr Hero; 08-07-2011, 08:28 AM.To right the countless wrongs of our days... We shine this light of true redemption, that this place may become as paradise...Oh, what a wonderful world such would be...Comment
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One of my favorites "How can you be sold out during one of the busiest weekends of the year? You had rooms yesterday". No, I'm just lying to you for my own amusement, idiot.Last edited by Moirae; 08-08-2011, 04:18 PM.Comment
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At this point, I would call my manager and very loudly ask "Are we allowed to give people really dumb looks when they ask us questions that answer themselves?"Quoth Moirae View Post
"For a musician, the SNES sound engine is like using Crayola Crayons. Nobuo Uematsu used Crayola Crayons to paint the Sistine Chapel." - Jeremy Jahns (re: "Dancing Mad")
"The difference between an amateur and a master is that the master has failed way more times." - JoCat
"Thinking is difficult, therefore let the herd pronounce judgment!" ~ Carl Jung
"There's burning bridges, and then there's the lake just to fill it with gasoline." - Wiccy, reddit
"Retail is a cruel master, and could very well be the most educational time of many people's lives, in its own twisted way." - me
"Love keeps her in the air when she oughta fall down...tell you she's hurtin' 'fore she keens...makes her a home." - Capt. Malcolm Reynolds, "Serenity" (2005)
Acts of Gord – Read it, Learn it, Love it!
"Our psychic powers only work if the customer has a mind to read." - meComment
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My favorite reply to "There are no stupid questions"....
Is this a stupid question?
By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.
"What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant FriendComment
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My favorite of recent involves the north-south highway that the store is by being closed south of town for construction. Now, this isn't the sort of closed you can drive around--they're actually leveling hills out and stuff. They have signs all over the intersection alerting people that the road is closed, etc. So, imagine how hard I had to fight not to laugh when I got this gem one day: "Is the road REALLY closed?"
"And though she be but little, she is FIERCE!"--ShakespeareComment
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