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I don't want to kill any thread material I have now, but since I (just) found out I can post, I'm happy to share a few of my favorites:
- Customer comes through my line. Doesn't want a Rewards card, wants to just get her stuff and go. This is fine, I understand this. She swipes her card, and tells me that it's a debit card. We don't push a certain button for this; the machine can detect this when you swipe it. The conversation went like this:
(From what I read, I assume "SC" means Sucky Customer. Someone correct me.)
SC: It's debit.
Me: Oh, you tell the machine that when you swipe it.
Of course, I meant the machine KNOWS.
*SC leans down, her face in front of the machine.*
SC: DEB-IT.
I didn't want to laugh. I didn't. I turned away from her to finish my snickering. By this time, I was handing her the receipt.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't mean it that way. I meant that-
*SC glares at me, grabs stuff and leaves*
Okay, so this one wasn't a SC, more of me (accidentally) being a jerk. Haven't seen her since.
---
Mom and (screaming) kid are in my line. Mom's buying a Backyardigans DVD while kid screams for candy.
Kid: I WANT CANDY!
Mom: No, you have your DVD, you don't need candy.
Kid: I. WANT. CANNNNDDDDY!
(This rang throughout the store. I had to cover my ears while she wasn't looking.)
Mom: When we get home, the DVD is going in time out. (What?)
Kid: NO! NO! I WANT CANDY!
I stay silent, except for the usual "Do you have a card/How are you/Good day." I don't want to accidentally offend. During this, the kid grabs whatever candy he can get his hands on, approaches the counter, and sticks his little hand in my direction. I take the candy and hand it back to his mother, who puts it back. This repeats 4 (yes, 4) times.
She pays and is about to leave. Kid is sitting on the floor, arms crossed, glaring at her.
Mom: Come on, let's go home.
Kid: I WANT CANDY!
Mom: No, I paid already, we have to go.
Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
She walks off, thinking he'll follow. He doesn't.
When she's out of his view, kid grabs a Hershey bar and hands it to me. I place it aside, smiling at him and shaking my head. He grabs another, and tries the same. I have a small stack of candy next to me now. What can I really say?
Mom returns, kid sits. She grabs his arm and attempts to drag him from the store. Kid is screaming at the top of his lungs every second. She eventually lets go when they reach the door, thinking he'll follow.
Fast as his lil' feet will carry him, he runs back to my register and grabs another candy bar, once again holding it up at me. I want to just sigh now, but I hold back. Mom comes back, forcibly picks him up, and walks out, him screaming in her ear the entire time.
I love retail.
I have many other stories, if these happen to go over well.
They get funnier by the day.
- Customer comes through my line. Doesn't want a Rewards card, wants to just get her stuff and go. This is fine, I understand this. She swipes her card, and tells me that it's a debit card. We don't push a certain button for this; the machine can detect this when you swipe it. The conversation went like this:
(From what I read, I assume "SC" means Sucky Customer. Someone correct me.)
SC: It's debit.
Me: Oh, you tell the machine that when you swipe it.
Of course, I meant the machine KNOWS.
*SC leans down, her face in front of the machine.*
SC: DEB-IT.
I didn't want to laugh. I didn't. I turned away from her to finish my snickering. By this time, I was handing her the receipt.
Me: I'm sorry ma'am, I didn't mean it that way. I meant that-
*SC glares at me, grabs stuff and leaves*
Okay, so this one wasn't a SC, more of me (accidentally) being a jerk. Haven't seen her since.
---
Mom and (screaming) kid are in my line. Mom's buying a Backyardigans DVD while kid screams for candy.
Kid: I WANT CANDY!
Mom: No, you have your DVD, you don't need candy.
Kid: I. WANT. CANNNNDDDDY!
(This rang throughout the store. I had to cover my ears while she wasn't looking.)
Mom: When we get home, the DVD is going in time out. (What?)
Kid: NO! NO! I WANT CANDY!
I stay silent, except for the usual "Do you have a card/How are you/Good day." I don't want to accidentally offend. During this, the kid grabs whatever candy he can get his hands on, approaches the counter, and sticks his little hand in my direction. I take the candy and hand it back to his mother, who puts it back. This repeats 4 (yes, 4) times.
She pays and is about to leave. Kid is sitting on the floor, arms crossed, glaring at her.
Mom: Come on, let's go home.
Kid: I WANT CANDY!
Mom: No, I paid already, we have to go.
Kid: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
She walks off, thinking he'll follow. He doesn't.
When she's out of his view, kid grabs a Hershey bar and hands it to me. I place it aside, smiling at him and shaking my head. He grabs another, and tries the same. I have a small stack of candy next to me now. What can I really say?
Mom returns, kid sits. She grabs his arm and attempts to drag him from the store. Kid is screaming at the top of his lungs every second. She eventually lets go when they reach the door, thinking he'll follow.
Fast as his lil' feet will carry him, he runs back to my register and grabs another candy bar, once again holding it up at me. I want to just sigh now, but I hold back. Mom comes back, forcibly picks him up, and walks out, him screaming in her ear the entire time.
I love retail.
I have many other stories, if these happen to go over well.
They get funnier by the day.
I'm surprised she let that nonsense continue that long.
)
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