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  • Incoming! Hit the dirt!

    So, this is a college town, which means roughly twice a year the motorized locust horde of new students moving in descend on us like a biblical plague. Since campus was laid out around 1830-ish, it was never designed to handle road traffic that didn't walk around on 4 legs and any hope of maintaining order when 10,000 Toyota Highlanders with trailers show up is a mass delusion who's persistence is something the psychology department can't even explain.

    So, In an effort to make things easier, the University sent around a memo telling people that they had called of the campus cops and for this week only new arrivals could park anywhere on campus and not be towed. The more astute of you in the audience can already tell the massive blunder they made by using the word "anywhere", as that's where most people just stopped reading.

    Oh the joys I had telling angry parents that the following places we towed their SUV's from did not count as "campus"

    - A Dentist's Office
    -The Burger King
    -The Dry Cleaners
    -Some Random Person's HOUSE DRIVEWAY
    -Private Apartment Complexes up to EIGHT BLOCKS from campus

    And what did I hear all night as an excuse?

    "BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK ANNNNNNYWHEEEEREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!"

    (Except for the lone car with Massachusetts tags, who's complaint was more along the lines of "BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK EEENNY-WEHYAH!")

    Ugh, the various threats to call the cops on us was nice, as was the person lamenting how "Sad" it was that we were towing people for illegal parking because that was "Ruining the name of this university!" One seemed shocked that they had to pay to get their car back and was incredulous that we were "Making money off towing!"

    And if their parents are that bad at reading comprehension, imagine the mayhem their kids are going to cause me later in the week.... no, wait I don't have to imagine, I already got it. I got a call last night from one new arrival who wanted a car towed from his space at his apartment.... but didn't know where he lived. And that was followed by another student who's car was towed, but they don't know what kind it is.... they thought it was a Chevy, then called back and said maybe it was a Pontiac, and then after all of THAT, it was towed from a lot we don't do, someone ELSE'S name was on the signs and they STILL called us.

    And you folks got IN to college? HOW?
    - They say nothing good happens at 2AM, they're right, I happen at 2AM.

  • #2
    Quoth Argabarga View Post
    And you folks got IN to college? HOW?
    Money, dear boy.
    PWNADE(TM) - Serve up a glass today! | PWNZER - An act of pwnage so awesome, it's like the victim got hit by a tank.

    There are only Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse because I choose to walk!

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    • #3
      Geez. At least you didn't find any cars inside of buildings or on the quadrangle.

      I guess your next bulletin will have to be more descriptive for these idiots.
      Fiancee: We're going to need to do laundry. I'm out of clean pants.
      Me: Sounds like a job for Gravekeeper!
      Fiancee: What?!
      Me: Nevermind.

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      • #4
        I sense more stories from Argagarga in our futures.
        :-)

        Kids, these days... No priorities. I managed to survive college without getting my car towed. I always made sure to park it in a safe, legal place that I could never possibly find unless completely sober.


        Of course, one year that meant having to wait until three weeks after school was out until I found my car...

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        • #5
          Quoth Jay 2K Winger View Post
          Money, dear boy.
          A lot of brief oral exams.

          Comment


          • #6
            Quoth thehuckster View Post
            Geez. At least you didn't find any cars inside of buildings or on the quadrangle. I guess your next bulletin will have to be more descriptive for these idiots.
            I was picturing cars on the quad, too. And sidewalks.
            "Is it hot in here to you? It's very warm, isn't it?"--Nero, probably

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            • #7
              Quoth Argabarga View Post
              Oh the joys I had telling angry parents that the following places we towed their SUV's from did not count as "campus"

              - A Dentist's Office
              -The Burger King
              -The Dry Cleaners
              -Some Random Person's HOUSE DRIVEWAY
              -Private Apartment Complexes up to EIGHT BLOCKS from campus
              There was an incident not so long ago where my brother decided to park his car for a college game....at the McDonalds. He left it there for hours, and was completely shocked when he came back to find it gone.

              Better yet, when he went into the Burger King nearby to whine at THEM about it, they lol'd at him and said "we would have done the same".

              Now he "hates this stupid state"....totally ignoring the fact that he was being boneheaded.
              By popular request....I am now officially the Enemy of Normalcy.

              "What is unobtainium? To Seraph, it's a normal client. :P" -- Observant Friend

              Comment


              • #8
                Quoth NateTheChops View Post
                A lot of brief oral exams.
                Ouch!

                Yeah, my campus has similar problems.

                Half the faculty spaces were filled with cars with either no faculty hang tags, or last year's tags.

                The tow companies are going to be very busy . . . .
                They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                • #9
                  Some Random Person's HOUSE DRIVEWAY
                  For some reason, across my driveway is a popular parking space on my street. After about the seventh incident, I put up a bunch of cheap solar lights along the drive and bolted a "Do not block drive" sign to my garage. So far so good, although the drive is only 10 feet long to start with, so I'm not sure why some $2 solar lights made that much of a difference.

                  Comment


                  • #10
                    I live in a college town, and, in spite of road construction closing the main road into the University, move in day went well. People were told when to move into the dorms, and they did.

                    I must admit, I'm socked.
                    "Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid" Redd Foxx as Al Royal - The Royal Family - Pilot Episode - 1991.

                    Comment


                    • #11
                      When I was in college, I had a part time job with campus police doing traffic control.

                      Most of the year it meant standing guard at the entrance to the faculty lot and keeping visitors and students out.

                      Twice a year it meant traffic control on Move In Weekend.

                      Our job was to:

                      Keep parents from parking on the lawns
                      Enforce strict time limits to unload cars
                      Keep it moving
                      Give directions

                      Most of the suck came from parents who:

                      Got pissy because some other parent was taking so long to unload
                      Wanted to park in faculty parking
                      Wanted to park on the lawns.
                      Didn't want to move after unloading so someone else could get in and unload.

                      The kids were almost always fine. They just wanted to dump their stuff and hook up with their friends.
                      They say that God only gives us what we can handle. Apparently, God thinks I'm a bad ass.

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                      • #12
                        Quoth Argabarga View Post
                        (Except for the lone car with Massachusetts tags, who's complaint was more along the lines of "BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK EEENNY-WEHYAH!")
                        You sure they didn't say "PAAHHK"?
                        It makes sense.

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                        • #13
                          My first semister when I briefly went to college, I knew where my car was parked -- on the other side of campus, right by where most of my morning courses were. Never felt the need to try and waste time moving the car over to the other side when it would take my two hour lunch break just to park for my last class. Nevermind the fact that my friend's sister and her friend had the same class as I did and were more then willing to drop me off at my car on the days we had the class.

                          Then again there was plenty of parking to begin with.
                          Eh, one day I'll have something useful here. Until then, have a cookie or two.

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                          • #14
                            Quoth SpaceCore View Post
                            You sure they didn't say "PAAHHK"?
                            Should have said "Well, if you like, you can paahk the caaah in Haahvaahd Yaahd"

                            Much love to our Bostonian bretheren.

                            Comment


                            • #15
                              (Except for the lone car with Massachusetts tags, who's complaint was more along the lines of "BUT THEY TOLD US WE COULD PARK EEENNY-WEHYAH!")
                              This made me bust out laughing. Ah, accents.
                              Can't reason with the unreasonable.
                              The only thing worse than not getting hired is getting hired.

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